Just a thought I had reading this: sometimes I think get “jealous” (I’m not sure that’s the right word at all but the only one I can thing of right now) of people who can let their emotions show, give in, etc. It’s just not for me an acceptable thing to do, I think I sometimes wish I could just say “I’m too tired to fight”. I find I get really angry at people who do that. I don’t know if it’s because I feel that’s just not a choice for me or because they just really genuinely piss me off for being weak and emotional. I think I wrote something of that in some post about fragility or something like that…I should probably go re-read that one.