What Were They Looking For?

These here are a few of the most recent search engine terms to come into my blog. Beside them I’ve written my response.

F**king anxiety – this has shown up several times in the last few days. I’m not sure what that’s about but it sounds like something I’d say.

Girls in the box – I’ve seen this several times too and have no clue what it means. I’ve never been in a box but there was that time I spent in the closet.

Dog loud breathing smacking lips snoring – Yup, that pretty much describes Gus.

Crowned knot – um, okay but I’m not certain I’ve ever mentioned book making on my blog.

Is people watching a disorder – Yes, it’s called voyeurism and is illegal in most states.

Dog belly button – …… speaking of disorders.

Poems about eyes and acupuncture – If you find any let me know. That sounds kind of interesting bordering weird.

What to say to annoyingly positive people – You start out by letting them know the statistics of their disorder. They’re not alone; 1% of the human population suffers from the delusion of happiness. Let them know that if they try hard enough they can be as bitter and unhappy as the rest of us. They’ll try to get you to see the bright side but remind them after a month or so their anti-happy medication will help them see just how hopeless things really are. They should set their sights and standards low and always expect the worst. Once they abandon this so-called positive attitude the emotionally challenged and morally bankrupt will accept them into their fold. If your lack of support is done properly your sick friend will eventually depend upon, perhaps even look forward to being part of the crowd that goes home to black and white TV and a half gallon of ice cream. If they insist upon their happy course of action know that you failed yet another person in life. Why did you even try?

My favorite find of the day:

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

What Were They Looking For? – Thursday, December 10, 2009 – 3:56AM EST