Daily Archive for December 29th, 2009

Someone Else’s Child

Published on December 29, 2009 in Abuse, Art, Art Therapy, Dehumanize, Emotional abuse, Fear and PTSD. 2 Comments

You didn’t hurt “something” that belonged to you. You hurt someone else’s child. I never belonged to you in the first place.

Someone Else's Child.Sunflower .

Trampled and On Liking Cats

Trampled. On liking cats ,

It doesn’t matter how I feel. Violence is okay.

fma

Up Late Thinking

Published on December 29, 2009 in Abuse, Depression, Female Sadist, PTSD and Relationships. 4 Comments

Negative self talk is loud right now.

I see signs of depression in me.

I think too much. I worry about what people think of me. I worry about: being in the way, talking too much, not talking enough, walking properly, dressing properly, looking just right, speaking just right, breathing too loudly, laughing too much, not smiling enough.

My therapist says my sister seems to have more of identification with her aggressor because she’s still there at home. Any division between me and the mother is pretty good for me. If I’m less attached then that’s a good thing. He said there may have always been some part of me that knew she was wrong but that part didn’t get a lot of attention because I was too busy playing psychologist with her. I was too busy being her shoulder to cry on, her clown, her whipping boy and dress up doll.

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