I wonder what commercials will be aired during the Super Bowl this year. I mean, it seems lately commercials fall into 3 categories: political, pharmaceutical and please give to this or that cause. How on earth will they work those subjects into a SB commercial? Surely Cialis and Viagra will go over big during half time. We shall all dance to the newest Viagra tune or sit together in bath tubs until the time is right for Cialis. But how will they work in political commercials and causes?
Vote for this or that. This candidate is a liar and a dirty politician. Tell your congressman you want…..!!!!! Let your voice be heard. You deserve….blah, blah, blah, blah..somebody get me a drink.
If you or someone you love took this or that medication and suffered a stroke, heart attack, Tardive dyskinesia or chronic gas or an erection lasting longer than 4 hours please call the law offices of Flatulent and Flanker.
If you or a loved one haven’t suffered from the side effects of poorly tested and early released drugs please contact the manufacturer. If you didn’t become addicted to your medication so that you now rob drug stores or you haven’t become homicidal after using a black box medication please call the manufacturer and report this malfunction. If for some odd reason you were cured by one of these medications you are entitled to monetary compensation for all the worry we put you through in our commercials of doom.
For just $16 a month you can make the life of an animal better. If you don’t send us this money these animals will die because of YOU. All you had to do was write us a check and this animal would have lived. (cue Sarah McLachlan song)
For $19 a month you can feed a hungry child, educate it and make his future bright. By not rushing us this money YOU are personally responsible for the wide spread illiteracy and hunger across the globe. And since you didn’t buy pink ribbon items you are most certainly hellbound. You couldn’t buy a DARE shirt to keep kids off drugs? Shame on you, ya selfish bastard!
I just can’t see how the Super Bowl is going to be able to tackle these subjects. All the major companies have pulled out because of financial strain. That only leaves the wealthiest to take the slots….big government, pharmaceuticals and all those dang on ‘help us or people will suffer because of you’ foundations. Funny how they haven’t cured a darn thing!
J of A - President and CEO of the Pissed Off Foundation
For $5 a month you can help keep me pissed off. Please rush your $5 and I’ll send you photos of me upset. You’ll be able to follow the progress of my down slide every step of the way. Personal letters explaining emotional catastrophe will be included in your package of despair. Won’t you help today?
(cue Requiem)
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Great! Spit out my coffee laughing!