Because of the snow I was unable to get in to his office to talk to him so we had our session over the phone. We talked about the movie The Tie That Binds and how I was uncertain which part of the little girl’s behavior was real and which part was Hollywood made. The little girl talked to her dolls and confided in them. Dr. D said little kids do that with their toys. That made me sad because I never did that, it never crossed my mind to. I mean, I didn’t have dolls but I wonder if I had them if I’d have talked to them or slept beside them. Would I have named them? Who knows.
We talked about how children identify themselves as children because they’re under the authority of adults. That’s not the only reason but that’s one of them. I commented that maybe the reason I never saw myself as a child was because my authority figure was a bit different. I didn’t have a set bedtime. I missed school whenever she felt like picking up and going somewhere just because she wanted to that day. I didn’t do a load of laundry, a sink of dishes or many household chores until my sophomore year in High School. Past the 2nd grade I wasn’t required to clean my room. I didn’t have the regular limitations or guidelines other people my age had. What I had was a regimen of “vitamins”, “trauma training” and incest. I didn’t learn to cross the street on my own until my sophomore year which is the year I went to live with my English teacher. What an awakening that was.
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