Daily Archive for February 21st, 2010

DREAM: Goldfish Out of Water

(If you happen to read this feel free to giggle at will)

Tight SqueezeI purchased a fancy goldfish from a local pet store and put it in a 20 gallon aquarium alone. At first it did just fine but then it started jumping out of the aquarium and onto the table where the aquarium sat. I’d hurry and put him back in but a few hours later I’d find him out again. Each time I found him he was significantly larger than before. He’d gotten so large that it began to kind of freak me out to pick him up and put him back in the aquarium.

One time this fish named Leon attached himself to the ceiling and hung out for a bit before maneuvering himself back in his aquatic home. Another time he sat on the branch of a silk tree and watched Bella who was on another branch. Bell wasn’t sure what to think of this over-sized fish so she just sat there until he squirmed away and went back home.

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DREAM COMMENTARY: Goldfish Out of Water

The full dream can be found here.

COMMENTARY:

The fish is me. I see dissociation in this dream (me on the ceiling watching myself and my world). I also see me growing past certain spaces in my life. I think I was actively looking for a spot I fit in comfortably. The gender change is a common theme in my dreams and something Dr. D and I have discussed in the last few sessions. I still have a hard time with feeling as if people are trying to take my female identity. This stems from the sexual abuse by my mother and sister where I was forced to be the “husband” who either held or “made love” to his “wife.” For the most part that was my sister who put me in the husband’s role. My mother simply had me be a guy and refused me the natural right to feel like a girl. I still struggle with feeling as if my identity is in harms way.

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Happier Than 95% of the Population

The message from Team Hoyt, “Yes you can.”

This team has been known for years but today is the first I’ve ever heard of them. Today is a good day! I’m happy I know of their story. Of all the moments in this video that touch the heart there’s one sentence that makes me take pause. The father said of his son, “He’s happier than 95% of the population.” Hmmm, imagine that, happier than the wealthiest, than the poorest, the fastest, the most famous. Happy. Wow.

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