I have to wonder what on earth I’m doing? I mean really, am I just totally off my rocker or am I in a space now where I can venture out and not feel like I’m going to crash and burn? For me to even consider walking down this road says to me I’ve made a tad bit of progress in my healing.
I’ve said repeatedly that I can’t date a black girl because it’s too triggering. I’ve said that I like black women a lot (ooooo chocolate) but when I see them I think of my mother and it frightens me. At this point when I look at her I don’t think of my mother. When I see a mutual friend of ours I see my mother but not when I look at her. I guess my concern is that if this grows into anything and there’s sexual contact I’ll end up freaking out.
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