The other day I sat up watching an infomercial about Lord only knows what when I had an epiphany. I don’t have to fight to stay awake. I can go to bed when I’m tired. The epiphany came in the form of an insider’s voice who said, “You know, you don’t have to stay up.” Oh, okay. Really? Are you sure cause that doesn’t sound right. To walk in the room and lay down to rest seemed like a foreign concept. WTF? Do what?
Dr. D and I discussed how difficult it’s been to feel alone yet constantly have company. That company is in my head but its still hardship. I’m taxed by the realization that I have no real alone time, no private thoughts. As illustrated in the sketches I go to the grocery store with a gang of people. I use the restroom with an audience, a chattering group accompanies me to the dinner table, when I walk the dog, when I take a bath and when I sit in therapy. Even though we work well together it’s still a hardship to NEVER, ever be alone. The fact that we do work together (most of the time) makes our existence easier but it’s still very much a burden to feel as if everything about me is shared. Our closeness as a group is shown in the drawings where we are holding hands. It’s also shown by how close we’re standing to one another.
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