This is something I was thinking about the other day when I saw the Pope on TV and when I saw several news reports on the subject of his speech. First off, let me say this entry is NOT about my belief about the guilt of the church. This entry is NOT about the crimes, the survivors, the priests or even religion. It’s about those caught in the middle and about what they must be feeling.
I have a friend who is Catholic and though we’ve never met in person I think of her each and every time the news comes on to report another crime. There are plenty of people that demand accounting for crimes against them and people are not in the least bit hesitant to let it be known that they want to be heard. When I go to the store, put gas in my car, where ever I go people talk about this and rightfully so. But here’s the thing, what about Catholics in the middle who did not hurt anyone and who just want to go to church and do their thing? How horrible and burdensome, even humiliating it must be to hear the news and see what they believe in tarnished. How saddened they must be to feel like their religion is the enemy.
I wonder sometimes if this is a tiny taste of what it feels like to be a religion on the out side of acceptance. Is this too what it feels like to be Muslim? Is this what it feels like to be Hindi or to be anyone that looks Middle Eastern… or Hispanic in Arizona? Must Catholics in the middle explain themselves every day so that people know they aren’t an abuser and don’t take lightly what’s been done? Must they be guilty by association? Guilty by association is only relevant when a crime has been committed. There are many that are guilty but to lump them all together and see every single one in the same light or refer to them all in the same tone is less than fair, its wrong.
I think everyone is very well aware of what scores of priests have done and the way they were protected, even aided in their dealings. It is without a doubt no secret what’s been done but I ask you to remember that not everyone is guilty. When you’re in the store, in the doctor’s office, anywhere in PUBLIC ranting about the crimes stop and ask yourself who is listening. At home if people don’t want to hear about the situation they can turn the TV off, turn the page of a newspaper, turn off the radio, go to a different blog or website. They can remove themselves from the situation but in public when someone is ranting others are subjected to it without a choice. Some that are subjected to this may stand behind you and cringe because they know what happened was wrong but they themselves have no power to right that wrong. I’m not saying be silent, don’t tell your story. I’m saying be aware and be considerate in PUBLIC because not ever Catholic or associate owes and apology or reconciliation to the public. Please remember to put blame where it belongs so that some sort of justice can be carried out without catching the innocent in the middle.
I say all of this not as a Catholic or even a Catholic supporter but as an observer who sees that there are more than two sides to this situation.
A few months back my uncle was arrested for driving while drunk. He’s a seasoned homicide detective in this city who passed out behind the wheel of a company car. The man was dead wrong and needed to answer for what he did but I tell you seeing a Facebook page slamming him was humiliating, mortifying. It made me wish the whole situation would just go away. I know he was wrong. I know appropriate action needed to be taken but it didn’t help when I went out in public and heard his name in relation to his crimes. I cringed when I saw his face on the news and and wanted to crawl under a rock when I saw it in the newspaper. Because of his actions the entire police force was given a bad name. It hurt and it still does. I simply wanted to hide my face and have it all.. go.. away. I wonder if this is how Catholics in the middle feel? They know this situation is horrific. There’s nothing they can do about it and they just wish it would all go away because their name too has been dragged through the mud.
It just goes to show, what one person does can and will affect family, friends and complete strangers.
Thanks for listening,
Faith
Great post. It’s a tough situation as you say. I think it’s complicated. We are all in the middle, so to speak. I can’t easily turn off the news. Parts of me don’t like it and wish it would go away and we could be left alone and not be triggered. I am not one to rant about the church. I don’t speak publicly about it, except on my blog and only just a few posts. But, yes, I do agree that it’s painful to hear anyone rant about ANYTHING in public spaces as you say.
I do think that many of the Catholics in the middle share a way of thinking. And that is that they turn a blind eye and don’t want to know. This is, in my mind, typical of the way people in their 60s and older were raised… not to ask questions, just go to church, put money in the coffers, have blind faith. It’s one thing to have blind faith in God. It’s another thing to have blind faith in the Pope or bishop or priest. That is what caused the problem in the first place.
I really struggled with this entry. I wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted to say. Even as I attempt to respond to your comment my mind goes all over the place. For me Catholicism is a very, very touchy subject which sparks out of control dissociation. What I attempted to do in this entry was put aside the actual subject of Catholicism (the hierarchy, faith, etc) and talk about the feelings and responses of those who had nothing at all to do with the crimes.
I attempted to liken their experiences to mine. For instance, yesterday on TV a lady walked into Target and stabbed 4 people. Before her photo showed up on TV I thought to myself, “Lord, don’t let her be black cause that’s all we need.” For me, her being white reduced my personal trauma to the situation. Her being white didn’t make her less guilty or make her crime less offensive. What it did was make my part of the community not have to suffer for something they didn’t have a personal hand in.
Another example of personal trauma would be if the news came on and they announced a pastor had been arrested for abuse. There would be many who would hold their breath until the name of the religion was announced. If they said the pastor was Baptist or some other religion it wouldn’t make the crime less offensive but it would make certain parts of the community feel less of the sting.
In the entry I’m talking about individuals in the community who cringe and feel the sting for something they didn’t do. Dogging people publicly was only part of what I was trying to get across. I mainly just wanted to say that I know there are many Catholics out there that just want to crawl under a rock when the news comes on. I’ve felt this way concerning parts of the community I’m invested in.
Still, my head is all over the place with this…..
PS.
I have no issues with a person who would dedicate an entire blog site about their personal abuse by the clergy and those who turned their backs to it. I have no issues at all with an entire magazine dedicated to forcing the issue for justice. I’m speaking, in this entry, primarily about those who look on in disgust and feel the sting of a crime they didn’t commit.
I don’t think people should stop talking about it or stop blogging about it when ever they feel like it, in whatever temperament they so desire. I’m just saying there must be many out there who see it and want to crawl under a rock. I guess I’m just pointing out the other group out there who are hurt by the crimes of their church.
Thank you for posting your comment. This entry sat silent and I thought, oh damn Austin you’ve done it now!!!! Still I wonder if I’m saying what I mean to say and how I mean to say it. Clearly a highly charged subject, huh?
Austin