Daily Archive for June 1st, 2010

Therapy Session Review: Show and Tell

Dr. D and I discussed the creative free flow writing I did called Show and Tell.

This particular piece is interesting to me because of the names I chose and the words chosen to describe my sister’s behavior and responses. Most significant to me is the names chosen for the characters. I went by the name Anna my senior year in high school and Cheyenne is one of my sister’s middle names. I switched up the names but didn’t really think about it until after the fact. Anna is also the name of one of my very mild alters. In the Bible there’s a woman named Anna that was considered loyal, faithful and always in the temple. This is one of the reasons the alter chose her name and one of the reasons I went by it in high school. I liked the thought of being considered loyal and faithful. Since my sister was none of those things its interesting that I’d choose to give her that name in the story and take hers as my own. Roger is just the brand of the cigarettes I was smoking at the time :-)

Continue reading ‘Therapy Session Review: Show and Tell’

I’m Not Sorry

I don’t exactly remember what you look like until I see your photo but I remember your voice, your hands and your eyes. The rest of you escapes me.

Photos of you as a child show such sadness only I feel no sympathy for you. I know what was done and how horrible it was yet I feel no sorrow for you.

I’m not sorry nor am I happy that she beat you, but  I am sorry you chose to beat me. I’m not sorry nor am I glad that you were molested and raped, but I’m sorry that you CHOSE to do those things to me. I’m sorry that you blew a chance to turn our family’s legacy around.

I’m not grieved by nor am I pleased that your heart breaks because you know your mother doesn’t love you. I’m sorry that you CHOSE not to love me. I’m not sorry that you hated having me as a daughter. If I was such a horrible, horrible person and you decided to keep me anyway, why, that was your choice too. Continue reading ‘I’m Not Sorry’