I saw this beauty on my screen door Monday morning and hoped my camera batteries would charge fast enough to catch him on film. What a beauty. After looking up info on the Pale Green Luna Moth I discovered that this is an adult male who will live for only about 7 days. In addition to his short adult life he doesn’t eat because he doesn’t have a mouth, none of the adults do. I guess when I saw such a large hairy creature I figured the information would say he’s predatory and can eat small mice or something. Who knew these large gentle, short-lived creatures eat nothing at all in adulthood. Continue reading ‘Stuff In My Yard: Pale Green Luna Moth’
Monthly Archive for August, 2010
Page 2 of 4
**comments are off**
Me: It doesn’t matter what you do, you can’t win with me.
Dr. D: I’m not trying to win or lose.
Me: I mean no matter what you do today it won’t be right. I just doesn’t matter, I’m too angry to hear you.
Dr. D: I thought you felt better, that’s what you said Monday.
Me: I do feel better. I don’t fear that I’m going to walk in front of a bus like I worried about before. That’s better, I’m not nearly as impulsive, but I still don’t care and I still just don’t want to be here.
I talked to my friend Grace on the phone today. When talking to her I needed a bit more light so I went to turn on the fish tank light and discovered 3 of 7 fish dead. They couldn’t have been dead more than an hour because I’d just turned the light off and saw them swimming around. I don’t know what happened in that hour to kill off 3 of them but they sure are dead. That totally sucks. The three fat ones I’ve had the longest are at 8 inches and seem hardy. Lets hope they remain that way.
I have 4 tanks but only three are stocked. I keep the 4th one ready to use as a hospital but I had no idea I’d need it because there was no sign at all that they were ill. Whatever changed happened quickly and took 3 fish out in a nanosecond.
This may sound as if I’m completely out of my mind but I’m writing this as an example of how someone pushed by financial strain can begin to re-think what they would or wouldn’t do for money. What I’m going to say may shock some, others may be able to relate. All that is to say, what you may read here is something you may not have ever thought you’d hear me say but rest assured, it’s something I never really thought I’d seriously consider.
I’m still here. I’m somewhat side tracked but I wanted to post a few words. I don’t know what else to say. I’m sort of blogging and watching Big Brother. I know it’s shallow but I love that show. I’m watching it on the net right now and there’s a commercial but I realized I hadn’t said anything in two days.
Monday I start therapy again which means this evening my vacation if officially over….as is the commercial set. Gotta run.
Faith
I’m still drawing. Still taking meds, still doing self care stuff.
. .
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image 1 – acrylic paint , image 2 – pencil
So this is how I’m doing: I’m sleeping a lot, eating 3 times a day, and taking my meds. I’m still suicidal and yes I’m still depressed. I miss my dog Captain who has an anniversary date coming up August 19th, the day I put him down. I’m frustrated, I’m angry and I’m broke. I told my doctor not to worry that I’d kill myself with him on vacation cause that would be nothing short of bull shit. He knows if I say I’ll be there, I’ll be there, so I’ll be there. That’s it in a nutshell.
If I don’t say anything for a few days….don’t know……I’m still here. I guess I should post something short and sweet daily though cause you can’t say you’re suicidal then just disappear.
I’m going back to sleep.
Me (or someone like me)
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