Monthly Archive for April, 2011

Art Therapy: Forgiveness, Anger, Fear

Published on April 26, 2011 in Abuse, Anxiety, Art Therapy, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotions, Fear, Grief Sadness Loss, PTSD, Therapy and Trust. 3 Comments

Sleep is vicious to me. It acts like I’ve personally offended it and is now set its life course to haunt me until I lose my mind. Wish it would tell me what I did or leave me alone.

While not sleeping I’ve been painting a bit…a lot.
This particular piece has a lot going on it it. I’ve got two pages filled with my own art therapy symbols then a little girl laying down seemingly calm and happy. At first glance its a happy picture of a little girl in a field with flowers but my symbols for anxiety stand out big time.
Sunflowers: Abuse, multiplicity, divisions
Swirls: Chaos, fear, confusion, overwhelmed
Flowers: Spilling of emotions positive or negative, usually negative and heavy emotions. The two emotions most represented by the presence of flowers are sadness and fear.

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Blossom’s Passing

Published on April 24, 2011 in Grief Sadness Loss and Love. 9 Comments Tags: .

Its hard when a kitten dies. I take it hard. My supervisor asked if I wanted her to come and stay with Blossom and wait out the inevitable but I said no. No way did I want to pass her off, so I held her. Soup said it could take up to two hours for her to die, it took half the day.

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Alcoholism

Published on April 23, 2011 in Anger and Relationships. 1 Comment Tags: .

Alcoholism – you hurt yourself
you hurt your kids
your wife
your wife’s friends.
I can only shake my head as you destroy your life and hinder the lives of those around you. It truly, truly hurts.

No Out

Published on April 22, 2011 in Abuse, Depression and PTSD. 2 Comments Tags: .

I think sometimes knowing I have an out makes it easier for me to want to quit. If I know I can quite at any time there’s a chance I will. So what happens if I remove this out that hangs over my head?

Some might consider healing an out, a way to get out of the sickness I was left with when I was hurt. I don’t see it as an out, I see it as a choice to not swim in this mire of guilt, sadness and fear. When I heal I take an active stance. I move forward and through, up and above.

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Stormy Indiana

Published on April 21, 2011 in For the Record and Medical. 2 Comments Tags: .

I’m happy I don’t live in California because earthquakes scare me more than anything. I was fine with 103 degree weather in Texas and fine with the 15 minute torrential rains in Tampa, Florida. I may not be okay with flooding and tornadoes here in Indiana but I’m used to it. I know how to prepare and when to evacuate.

This month we’ve had 20 tornadoes and we’re experiencing wide spread flooding. Two days ago water was up to the second step of 3 in my front yard and completely covered the tires on my car. When stuff like this happens this old house loses electricity which I’m also used to. I just prepare meals I know don’t require refrigeration and stock an ice chest with sandwiches and other prepared items. We have boiled water and several oil lamps as well as batteries, flashlights and other emergency items. I may not have a cellphone but the two people I live with do so we can call for help if needed.

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Aww, it’ll be okay little one

Published on April 19, 2011 in Humor and Pets. 0 Comments Tags: , .

This little one I call Blossom was here maybe 3 days ago but was returned because she fell behind again.  Her 5 litter mates are twice her size, stronger, faster and  squeeze her out so she’s back being bottle fed.


I call the kitten Blossom because she has made huge strides to overcome her odds. She’s got a great determination to thrive so we’re going to do the best we can to support this spirit of hers. Continue reading ‘Aww, it’ll be okay little one’

Therapy Notes: Love, Dreams, Morton

Published on April 18, 2011 in Art Therapy, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dreams, Female Sadist, PTSD and Therapy. 0 Comments

We talked about the dream called Focus and Move Forward where I mentioned my first love Danny. His time in my life was a typical Hollywood love tragedy. If you’ve seen the movie My Girl then you get a good idea about the two of us. There was fishing, catching crawdads in the creek, catching fireflies and climbing trees. I even played in a field of wildflowers, farmed rows of corn and walked across a rope bridge. Just like in My Girl it ended with one dead and one holding on to beautiful, beautiful memories. I don’t regret knowing him or his family but I hate how it ended. I try not to think about how it ended, just that we had some really good times.

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