I never thought I’d ever sit down with an offender and speak to him frankly and have him freely answer my questions. When I spoke to him I told him I didn’t need to know why but I did need to know if he understood what he put his son through. I needed to know if he understood the amount of damage he caused by his actions. I also asked if he’s repentant and if so what did he do to get to that point? It’s not enough to say you’re sorry or repentant; you have to act, move forward and away from those behaviors. What steps were taken to show repentance?
Continue reading ‘My Conversation with a Sex Offender’
Monthly Archive for August, 2011
Page 2 of 3
I got a phone call from my Cowboi telling me she’d be at my house very shortly. I hate it when people drop by unannounced or give me short notice that they’re on their way but I’m used to it with her. I got up from my nap, threw some water on me, tossed on some clothes and met her at the door. We talked here for a little bit then she said, “I want you to take a ride with me. I have a surprise for you.” We got in the truck and drove for about 20 min, then she told me to close my eyes and keep them closed. We drove for another 5 min with my eyes covered. When she stopped the truck she led me, eyes still closed, on a 3 or 4 min walk. I thought to myself, what on earth is this girl doing? When we stopped it still wasn’t time for me to open my eyes. Finally she said, you can open them now. There I stood in the middle of 2 acres of sunflowers. I was speechless. She snapped a photo of my stunned reaction.
In the dream my sister was having some mental health issues. She wasn’t herself, she was absent yet functioning in a manner in which others might not immediately realize she wasn’t well. The dream took place either on a bus or airplane. I couldn’t tell which one. The only people there were me, my sister, my mother and a young girl. The Caucasian girl was about 30 years old, heavy set and had short brunette curly hair. In the dream my sister and I were our current ages (40 and 44), my mother was about 35 years old which is the age she always is in my dreams.
Jane has gone back to yowling at night. I lay there waiting for it. I’m not getting a lot of sleep right now, not good sleep anyway. Last night I tossed and turned something awful.
Before I went to bed I heard scratching inside my dresser drawer. I didn’t know what was going on UNTIL I opened the drawer and Jane popped out. What on earth is wrong with that girl? What’s wrong with me that I didn’t notice a 12 pound cat sitting in a dresser drawer? When I picked her up to see if she was okay she meowed at me like, “Why did you do that to me?”
This is why people take drugs and drink isn’t it, to forget?
I understand the need for escape. I want to run, God I just want to run away.
I wonder how much more gray hair I’ll have by the years end?
Sw was here for a little bit today. We had a good time laughing about nothing at all.
With no TV or radio I’m going to lose my mind.
I’ve lost a heck of a lot of time and my level of confusion is high. I hate it when I can’t think. I can’t think.
I want to sit in the back of the closet, close my eyes and cease to exist.
I saw a guy with my shirt on today, the one that says ‘I have multiple personalities and none of them like you’. I didn’t think it was funny, not today anyway. Maybe it’s only funny when I wear it here at home. I never wear it in public.
Continue reading ‘Wednesday’
What stands out about this dream is how generic it is. Usually my dreams are long and drawn out, detailed. This particular dream was short and to the point.
In the dream my friend Sweet came over to see me and hang out for a little bit. The apartment was my current home but was set up in my grandparent’s basement. When the friend arrived I walked her through my grandparent’s house, down the stairs, through a second area in the basement then past my sister who was just outside my apartment playing pool alone. Once inside, Sweet said to me, “Does it matter that your sister knows?” I spoke quickly and cautioned her. “You can’t trust her. Do not trust her.”
Notes: Does it matter that my sister knows what? I have no idea. The apartment in my dream was my current apartment only it sat in the very back Continue reading ‘Dream. Family Traits. Abstract.’
I have really good days here but some are filled with what I’d call insanity and an unquiet mind. Sometimes I feel grounded, resolved to move forward, even lucky, but other times I feel disturbed. This move happened so fast and under such strain that I’ve yet to catch my breath.
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