The dream took place where I lived in the 4th grade. In this house lived 4 black and silver German Sheppard dogs, two white middle aged males and their African-American daughter Clay who happened to be my youngest female cousin (age 13). Clay was quiet and submissive when needed but she was also able to think on her feet and talk her way out of trouble. In the dream I was first just an observer then a participant. I was around 15 years old.
In the dream I watched her interact quietly and obediently with her fathers who were brothers and lovers. After dark the two fathers told Clay they were going to take the dogs over to Wal-Mart to visit some of the customers. Clay told me her fathers take the dogs to Wal-Mart and allow them bark, frighten and attack anyone who shows any sort of fear or weakness. The dream switched to the dark parking lot where the fathers walked the 4 dogs on leashes until they spotted a mother with a crying new born. The dogs tore the baby apart right there in the middle of the parking lot. They tore the child apart like a dog tears apart a cornered rabbit still customers rolled carts by and chatted as if nothing was out of the way. With their first kill done they went inside to walk around and terrorize others.
The dream switched back to me and Clay at home with a few of her female classmates. Someone brought a fat tiger stripped cat and a few supplies for the cat. We hung out for a bit eating popcorn and talking then one by one had sex with each other in what was called the red room. I’d finish with one girl then she’d go to Clay. The girl Clay was with would then come to me. We went on that way until the last girl came in the red room for me. I was sitting on the end of the bed waiting when she walked in. She pushed me over then walked around to the head of the bed where she got on her hands and knees. I was looking at her from that odd angle with anticipation. Just as she crawled over to me my cousin Clay came in the room and got on the bed. I tried to get her to leave because I didn’t want to have sex in front of her but she wouldn’t leave. I refused the girl which was frustrating for all involved. I’m not sure where the other girls went. They simply weren’t there anymore. The girl I didn’t get to sleep with disappeared too leaving me and my cousin in the red room alone.
The dream switched to Clay telling me I should leave because her fathers would be home in about 15 min. The clock read 10:44pm. I rushed to gather my things and ran out the door. When I turned to check the time it said 3:44am. I hurried to the bus stop only to conclude that I was wasting my time because on that side of town busses stop running early in the evening. I didn’t want to stand out there in the snow and ice so I decided to go back and ask if I could use Clay’s car to drive home. When I knocked on the door Blossom answered, not Clay. I was stunned to see her standing in my clothing but before I could say anything she switched back to Clay. I shook the sight off and told her I needed to use her car or I’d be out there in the snow all night. As I explained this a neighbor came home. The middle aged white woman was wearing my shirt only it was inside out. I asked why she was wearing my shirt but she said it was hers and that she got it a long time ago. In front of her closed door sat a large, light colored planter of Golden Pathos with a wooden steak in the middle. I looked at the clock on the distant wall; it said 10:55pm.
Clay told me I had to hurry and hide so I went in the closet with the idea of staying until the buses ran again. She said to stay in there and don’t say a word, not for any reason should I move or make a sound. She tried to close the closet door but there was too much stuff in there. I moved some things around then I hid myself under a light blue sleeping bag and a thick light yellow comforter. Shortly after she closed the closet door they came home. The dogs were immediately put up in the bedroom which the brother-lovers shared. After putting the dogs up they began to search the house for changes or signs that Clay wasn’t obedient in their absence. They walked around the house with arrogance, white glove checking everything in hopes of finding the slightest thing out of order. They didn’t make eye contact with the child; they just made a show of their authority as they went over the house with a fine tooth comb. Everything seemed in order until they spotted the cat’s bowl of food which had been left in the family room on a coffee table.
Clay tried to explain that an artist friend dropped by and they were drawing still life together. “Daddy, all my friend’s are artists,” she said. No one was buying that story so they began tearing through the house searching for visitors. I could hear them calling out to someone who had the same name as my uncle, my cousin’s real life step father. I could hear doors slamming and voices yelling. I knew I needed to get out of there so I opened the window to jump out. I opened the sliding glass only to find that the window was layered with plastic then a mesh screen. One layer of plastic, one layer of mesh, on and on like that. I pulled back layer after layer of plastic and mesh with seemingly no end. As I peeled the layers back I realized I wasn’t wearing a shirt or bra. I thought about grabbing a blanket but realized I couldn’t run with it so I abandoned that idea and kept pealing the layers. Just when I thought I had the last one, there was another and another. The bedroom door opened and I woke up.
To Dr. D.- It has not escaped notice that I had this dream right after a session concerning the vicious nature of my alter Robert.
Notes and Thoughts:
Concerning the dream itself, the house was built on sickness and pain yet it sat in the middle of an average neighborhood. To everyone else the house looked fine, but hidden behind the appearance of normalcy were vicious dogs, middle aged brothers as lovers and young cousins who shared friends. The children in the dream were advanced beyond their years and adapted to situations no one should have to deal with. When Clay told me what her father’s were leaving to do she didn’t flinch, she just said it in a normal voice. I do this. I recount horrible things in a calm, emotionless voice. It’s just information coming out of my mouth with no connection to it at all.
What should seem obvious to others was well hidden as seen by vicious dogs seeking out weakness so as to destroy it. No one helped because no one truly saw us. What was obvious to me wasn’t so clear to others.
I think the vicious dogs were very symbolic of how well sickness can be hidden. The dogs were kept in a room away from visitors, out of sight. When being taken to kill they were leashed until the right victim was found. The dogs weren’t just running wild and out of control which would draw attention to them. I think this is why they were able to tear the baby apart without anyone stopping them. No one could see it because the viciousness was actually in the men themselves. They thought like wild dogs but carried themselves as men.
In the dream children adapted to violence and somehow survived yet they were trapped in a vicious cycle of layer after layer with no real escape.
And ya wonder why I put off sleep as long as humanly possible. My GOD, make it stop.
DREAM Vicious Dogs and Owners- Thursday, September 01, 2011
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