This entry is a follow up to the pink dryer entry . This handwritten entry goes into detail about how difficult it was to feel as if I belonged anywhere or was seen as anything but an object of derision.
The very first art piece shows a three headed child with the caption, “You can be anyone except who you really are.” This art therapy piece will make more sense if the pages are read concerning being black and how I was told to be an example for others. The example I was to set was insane and rather stupid thus the title, Black for Dummies.
My therapist and I spent a good amount of time talking how during this writing I stumbled upon the understanding that my sister should not be seen as weak for how she handled the abuse. I noted that we handled the abuse differently and that one way wasn’t better than the other because the end was always the same. I said “no matter how we handled it, we were at the mercy of our mother. I guess it was like we drove different vehicle down the same dead end street. It was her street and she got to decide when and where it ended.”
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- page 1 – set an example
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- page 2 – appearances
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- page 3 – responsible for others
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- page 4 – strong vs weak
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- page 5 – I fit in
I am no longer on her dead end street.
fma
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