In the Hospital for SLE and Fibromyalgia

On Friday I went to an art opening with a friend and it was fantastic. I didn’t want to go at all and started to cancel because my pain level was at a 9 and rising. Despite that I went and I’m happy I did. What happened later was that I ended up in the ER because the pain level hit a 10 and I simply could not take it. I said weeks ago that I’d considered going to the ER but didn’t, this time I did. When I got there they looked at my records and asked a few simple questions. They asked how I usually manged my pain. I answered honestly then told them that my usual method wasn’t managing this flare up. He asked when the last time it was I came in for a “cocktail” and I told him it had been awhile. According to my records it was 2 years ago.

No social workers showed up and no questions about my mental health were posed. They asked one major question: What can we do to help you? I asked for a one time cocktail that would relieve the pain enough that I could manage it again. With that I was given a shot of Morphine, Demerol an injection of Prednisone. They then had me swallow two pills for nausea and gave me two percocets. This cocktail could knock out a horse but I was wide awake the whole time.

After about an hour the doctor asked how my pain was and I told him I was still in a lot of pain but too high to care. The problem with that is, the pain meds were going to wear off and I’d start to care again so I ended up with yet another shot.

I think I was released on Tuesday around 6am. I went to therapy at 4:15 that same day and talked to Dr. D about what was going on. I did a second therapy session Wednesday but by then the pain was increasing again making it necessary to get in to see my doctor immediately. I’ll  see my general practitioner and rheumatologist Friday (today) at 7am. I hope we can do something other than “make me comfortable”. I hope they can give me something that will turn this flare around and get me to my normal level of pain. Boy, that sounds so strange, I’d like to get back to the pain I’m used to and can live with.

One of the things I hate about that cocktail is that is it ultra hard on my kidneys and liver but at the moment these meds are necessary. The last thing I’ll say about those drugs is this, when I was given the morphine shot in my rump it only took a few seconds before a warmth spread from head to toe. That warmth was much appreciated. It was as if someone climbed inside me and hugged me from the inside out. What a true comfort in my time of need.

Alright, so I’m going back to the hospital at 7am. I have an appointment to be there. I am to stay more than likely until Tuesday. I hope (God do I hope) we can get this flare under control. Looking at the date of my little poem and drawing I can see this flare has been hanging on at this intensity since November 11th of last year. This has got to stop.

Me