There are a few reasons why I’m extra quiet these days, the first is that my brain is tired. I attempt to write and entry then I get up and say forget it. Sometimes it takes an hour or so to write two paragraphs, paragraphs that get deleted.
I’m in yet another flare up. My body is in knots. Yesterday I put my hand in water and it felt like I’d been doused with acid. I have to admit, I’m very ready to call my doctor and tell him he’s got to do something different. The problem with that is, what else can he do? What I want is to go in the hospital and have treatments. When I think like that I know I need comfort more than anything else. You don’t go to the hospital to rest. They can give me meds and stuff to take at home. When I say I want to stay in the hospital over this its because I need someone with me to tell me things will be okay. I hurt. Right now that’s what I feel most of the time. It’s draining physically and emotionally. I want to be okay.
Prolonged pain drains me of me. I have little humor to offer. I don’t see things the way I used to and I begin to lose hope quickly. First to go is energy then drive then hope. Without hope, Lupus and Fibromyalgia would be the least of my problems. Without hope I have nothing.
I may not want to but tomorrow I have to leave the house and walk around a bit. I have to move, get some blood flowing and more fresh air. Art therapy and air are part of my preventative medicine plan. They help me refocus the pain so as not to be totally consumed by it.
Painting 1, Women Alone: Pain makes me feel alone and disconnected. In a crowd of people I can still feel alienated and like I’m miles from a person who is just two inches away. Painting 2, Painful Steps: The person is elongated and has exaggerated feet. That particular day neuropathy in my hands and feet spiked out of control. Painting 3, Fibro Burn: More neuropathy issues as well as increased Fibro symptoms. That day my body burned from head to toe. It hurt to wear clothing. All I wanted to do was strip and lay on the kitchen floor. The person in the drawing represents me but I don’t draw myself naked. LOL. That would be weird. LOL The person is shown not just naked but stripped clean. The way a vulture strips a carcass is the way Fibro can strip one of will, hope and breath.
It’s April. April showers bring… pain. Why?
Barometric Pressure. The Main Link Between Weather and Pain explains this way: ailments appear to be aggravated by certain weather conditions such as damp, chilly conditions, rising humidity, rapidly falling barometric pressure and gusty winds. These particular conditions may cause swelling of the joints and it may be that the swelling irritates the nerves around the joints that sense the pain. It is likely that the joints’ membranes act as a barometer and then expand as the air pressure drops. This in turn can cause increased pressure of the fluids that lubricate the joint. More resistance to movement is then offered and it increases the pains in the joints already affected. The change in barometric pressure – the pressure that air exerts on the environment – may cause a transient “disequilibrium” in body pressure to sensitize the nerve endings, and thus account for the increased pain preceding humidity and temperature changes.