Today was so much better than yesterday. I’m happy I’m around to see it.
My friend Grace is so refreshing. I’m so happy I have her in my life. She’s a good person. I have a different friend that I hope to talk to more. I hope we get to laugh and chat more, cry and scream, you know, stuff. I’m so excited that she’s going to be closer. For the sake of body and mind you’d better surround yourself with people who have a bit of sense. These two woman have a measure of it. The jury is still out on me. LOL
After a tad bit of bad news I fell off the tobacco-free wagon. I had to talk to myself and reason that bad news doesn’t justify self harm. Even though I slid back into an old habit it doesn’t mean I have to stay there. I don’t have to throw away all this progress over one slip. I can think and reason my way right back on the wagon.
Sometimes I do a bit too much thinking. I think way too far ahead.
Right now, I should be fine financially, and I am. Without the car, without the extra cost of cigarettes and no extra large, hungry dog I’ve been able to live better off my itty bitty $712 a month. Rent is $450 then I have a light and phone bill. Despite those costs, I’ve been able to live decently but I could do better with a few helpful adjustments. These are adjustments not deductions.
Since the car died I started to panic and started to spend way too much for ‘just in case’ items. The cost of these just in case items has accumulated and thrown off my delicately balanced budget. I realized the problem is that I’m thinking way too far ahead. Before the car died, if I needed something I just drove to get it but now I’ve got to get a ride or walk. Because I can’t just hop in the car and get what I need or want I panic and over spend at the store. This is where I need to take a step back, take note of my options and realize that I don’t have to panic. I don’ t have to plan every step of the way, or have every single need met immediately. I can wait for things. I live close to two stores, one of which is a 24 hour store. I can walk up there at a reasonable hour and get my needs met as they arise. By doing so I can try and curb the ‘just in case’ spending as well as exercise more independence.
I’ve come to understand that when I think too far ahead I risk slowing current progress. I need to change how I view a few things. Some things aren’t as urgent as I think they may be.
Monday, April 16th, 2012- 11:45pm EST