On signs and boulders

I’ve gotten some advice on certain things that pertain to Lupus as well as non-medical issues. In the last few days I’ve been told the following:

1. Don’t let your pride destroy you.
2. To go beyond what your body can bear is reckless and irresponsible.
3. Faith, you are not alone.
4. When one friend groans, her friends groan with her.
5. Sometimes God throws pebbles (opportunities) at us and we miss it (let them slide by us) so he starts throwing boulders (huge signs that say, hey, I’m talking to you). Don’t miss those signs (opportunities) anymore. Move from this place.

I appreciate my friends for putting up with my tears and to my nurse and aide for their understanding and professionalism. The vast majority of my in home nursing staff is wonderful and they are resourceful. My friends are supportive and know me well. They know once I throw a fit or two I’ll come back strong and furiously fight to thrive. And if there’s any question that I won’t I’ve had them stay with me and talk until they felt secure that we’d reached a level of emotional balance that would let them take their leave.

No one has said to stop being afraid or angry. They said that expression of emotions is important, it is as important as action or the lack of it. I must not become consumed by a single emotion that may blind me or prevent further steps forward.

……..Don’t let your pride destroy you. …..My nurse said that. She’s only known me for a few weeks but she knows very well that I’m proud, and I am. Pride unbalanced will destroy me. I’ll keep that in mind. She also noted that I have a huge cabinet of medical resources from her company and the doctor’s company. I appreciated that. That’s a huge load off during this transition.

Sometimes I feel like this journey has been too long and other times I think to myself, it would have been much more difficult if not for some of the people I’ve met along the way.

Faith