Frogs. Self Talk.

Sia bloated or eggsI woke this morning to find Sia terribly bloated. I don’t know if this is bloat or if she’s full of eggs. The first photo shows how bloated she is, the second shows Pete trying to mate with her. He’s tried from several different angles but so far no eggs. If they are eggs they ‘should’ be absorbed back into her body and she should go back to her normal enormous size. If it’s bloat then we’ve got an issue that I don’t know how to resolve.

What worries me is that I had a dream about her death a few days ago. I hate that! 

Pete matting with Sia

At this point I’m just going through the motions with the tanks. I’m not interested in doing much with them.

Here is where I change directions….. I prepared for this. I set up the tanks so that when I got really sick there wouldn’t be much to do to them. They’re live planted. I changed the entire tank to live planted and let it sit there with very few fish in it so that I could then stock it with what I wanted, Rainbowfish.  I knew they’d be EASY to care for or ‘neglect’ at times. The Australian Rainbowfish tank has 3x’s its filtration requirements, it’s fully cycled, its live planted, has driftwood in it and its healthy. So why am I beating myself up about not being interested in them? I knew I was going to be depressed. I knew I was going to be too sick to manage them on my own, so I prepared for it. There is no reason to see my lack of interest as anything other than a normal response to being overwhelmed by my entire situation.

Plants – I killed 6 of them. I forgot to water them and they’re dead. I could ask all sorts of questions. Where was I? How could I forget to water the plants? Did I notice them turning brown and dying? The truth is, I simply forgot to water the plants. Of course there was a a litany of comments about my lack of worth. Your’e so stupid. What’s wrong with you? You’re so stupid! Over and over again. Dear head, I’m going to have to ask you to shut up. They’re plants and they can be replaced. They..are..plants… not a symbol of my worth.

My body hurts from head to toe. I’m doped to the gills, my body won’t regulate its temperature correctly, exhaustion is the norm. What on earth do you expect right now other than to do treatments and make it through this? I expect nothing more than what others have done. I expect to feel nothing more than what others have felt because I’m just like them and made of the same human matter. I just need to give myself a break and know that I’m not slacking off. I’m not just laying around doing nothing. And the last thing I need to do is catastrophize things because the frog is fat and some plants are dead.

One of the best things about African Clawed Frogs (ACF) is their ability to recover from some of the most traumatic experiences imaginable. ACF’s regenerate and fight off infections in ways humans have studied for years. Given the right environment they can and will recover from most anything. Sia is either full of eggs or she’s bloated. If she’s bloated then I’ll figure out what can be done for her. I’ll know in a few days.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I need a stiff cup of tea…… and I know just the one.


3 thoughts on “Frogs. Self Talk.

  1. Sherri

    I’m betting on the eggs… especially if Pete is trying to mate with her.

    I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad. Hopefully it will pass soon and you’ll get to feeling a bit better.

    For the plants, have you ever tried those water bulb things? I have never used them before but my old boss did. They were quite pretty and she only had to refill the bulbs about once a month. I think she scheduled it on her calendar with an email notification so she wouldn’t forget LOL

    Feel better my friend.

  2. Austin Post author

    Yeah, I think I should just chill. LOL Pete has been side ways, upside down, this way and that way doing his thing. There’s a frog orgy going on in there. LOL
    You know, eventually I’m going to have to take those goldfish out of there. I had to remove the snails because the little tyke Mockingbird kept doing his best to eat one of them. It appears that this tank will be nothing but clawed frogs which is fine with me. I just need to figure out what to do with two good size goldfish. I had them in there to clean up after the frogs cause they are messy eaters BUT I sort of fear for them at the moment ya know? I think eventually I’ll have to rehome the goldies. Right now everything stands as is. :-)
    Reassurance appreciated.

  3. Austin Post author

    Yeah, all 6 plants had those water bulbs sitting in them empty and dry. LOL I shall replace the plants and refill them with an email reminder to check on them. LOL
    Stuff happens. I gotta remember that.

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