I’m kind of nervous which is why I decided to blog. I’m not sure why I’m nervous, but I am.
Saturday afternoon I went to a special service which was held for most of the day. I sat by a woman who has spine issues and we talked about how chronic pain has affected our lives. Chronic pain can make her feel alienated or isolated from others, even those in the same house. Pain makes me feel ‘different’, like I’m the proverbial nerd with glasses in a room full of beautiful people. It affects how we see ourselves and what we think others see when they look at us.
My transportation company took me to therapy an hour early today. My pain level has been too high to sit down, so for most of that hour I was standing. I took a 15 min walk then stood in the lobby until it was time for my session. Sitting through the session was horrible.
The session itself was difficult because we discussed how mild of a child I was until I was taught not to be. I talked about wanting to find a more natural state of being, the sort of person I feel I would have been had I not be taught to be different.
We discussed how the move may benefit me physically and emotionally.
What my landlord has done is turn a decent property into a sex offender haven. One of them said that this place is safe for them to live so that others don’t bother them. It wasn’t like this when I first moved here. This influx began after the private school across the street failed and closed its doors. The closed school allowed the landlord/owner to move in offenders one by one, making most of my current neighbors sex offenders and violent sexual predators. This is a tiny little secluded community, thirty-six apartments is all. The apartments were given a make over with updated appliances. The carpet is new, the real tile floors are new as are the windows. They went through a lot of trouble to make it look nice. Then they turned around and moved in rats.
I’m excited, nervous and overwhelmed by the move. I’ve turned in my 30 day notice with a doctor’s reason for breaking my lease. I know that my current landlord will take me to court over this. I’ll go and we’ll speak about why I’m moving. I’ll deal with that when/if it happens. Right now I’ve got to pack. Betty will be able to help.
I’m going to take the last of my meds and go to sleep. I guess that’s all the complaining I’ve got for the moment.