I feel hopeful, inspired, tired

I feel the need to drip paint again. I got a bunch of sawdust because I was going to do more of my dust paintings but I feel the need to drip more paint like I did with My Sister’s Keeper.

My anxiety level has been high as has the pain level. Days like today make me wonder why on earth I thought I could take care of a dog. The therapist Piper said to make sure I drink more water because we’re making progress on getting some of the muscles to let go a bit which means I’m releasing toxins stored up in those tight muscles. I need to drink a lot of water to help clear it out. Thank you Dr. Jekyll for writing the order for Piper. My goodness that woman is a gift

Pied Piper painting - SOLDI had to stop therapy today because it hurt too much. I hate crying in front of people. It seems the longer I’m in pain the less strength I have to hold back tears. I don’t mean to imply that its weak to cry I just mean I cry easier. Piper, the therapist, reminded me how to breath. I knew there was a certain way to do it where it helps you relax but I couldn’t remember how to do it.

Everyone still signs the book when they come. I need them to do that so I know when they’re coming back and who is coming. Even when Jehovah’s Witnesses come on Saturday’s they sign the book. Regulars like that sign it so I know what I’m to do and when they’re coming back. I get the days messed up sometimes and it caused a problem which I felt horrible about. I realized today I had a whole lot of feelings associated with the CNA situation. I figured I’d just paint them out. I did a few abstract finger paintings and let it go. I’m done with it. Moving on. Next!

Day 2 of being a frogI don’t think I showed Nurse Ratchet the Third the baby frog. I can’t remember if she was here to see his little self. He’s only been out of tadpole stage for about 5 days now. His tail is totally gone.

I can’t believe I actually got a frog from an egg. Sia produced a bunch of them, I saved 7 and managed to keep 2 alive. One of them is now a frog, the second isn’t far behind. I am so blown away that this happened in my aquarium. That’s so awesome. He even took his first worm the other day, a worm born here in my compost pile. He has in his little tank with him 3 guppy fry that were born here. His tank is fully planted giving him a nice, rich environment to grow. That little thing is active too. He’s all over the place chasing those fry. He has no problems with the worms at all.

I went to the store today but that got cut short too, but not before I brought home jello and pudding cups. Its sad and pathetic that I have to go to the Latin food section to get reasonably priced pre-made lime jello. I can get the name brand pre-made for $3 for 4 cups or I can get 6 cups like I did today and only pay $1.49. Heck yes I got two. My cravings sometimes are so strange. I keep certain foods here like jello, pudding, raisins, saltine crackers and cinnamon graham crackers. I still have my peppermint obsession.

And I’m still super, duper drugged so I’m going to stop talking and go to bed. I need sleep before the JW’s get here too. Right now I’m so tired I worry about falling asleep and smacking my head on the table. My blood is too thin for accidents and such. I bet Dr. Jekyll, aka Debby Downer has a traumatic story about someone heavily medicated who fell asleep and some horrific event took place. In a serious manner, I’m going to talk a little more about “Debby Downer Syndrome” and what I’ve learned from it over the years. Right now I’ve got to grab my ice packs and go to bed.


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