Archive for the 'Love' Category

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Mudpuddles

For me the rain is dreary for Lea its time to play and splash about.

The water is receading quickly, which is a shock to me, it usually stays for day. It’s about half where it was just a few short hours ago. I figure Lea had her fun but then it was time for a nice soapy bath and a nap. She’s wrapped in her blanket and tucked in her crate snoring her little heart out. She’s my favorite little wet rat.

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Blossom’s Passing

Its hard when a kitten dies. I take it hard. My supervisor asked if I wanted her to come and stay with Blossom and wait out the inevitable but I said no. No way did I want to pass her off, so I held her. Soup said it could take up to two hours for her to die, it took half the day.

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Gustave Gets A Boy

My little buddy went to his new home yesterday. I say little buddy but his last measurements were 29 inches from his back to the floor and 67 inches from nose to tail. I doubt he was little at birth! So anyway, the home he went to is with a 10 year old little boy and his mother. What I like about the woman is that she wanted specific things from a dog. She wanted a huge dog, male and one that would sleep next to her at night but be gentle enough to play with her son. She needed a dog she could trust alone in the house without destroying things or trying to kill the cat, she has two. What I like about her is she didn’t just want a dog, she needed a dog. There’s a huge difference between wanting and needing. She had specific things she needed from the dog. I really like that she didn’t want just anything.

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My Sister’s Birthday

My sister turned 41 yesterday which explains the dream I had about her.

I had a dream she walked away from the family without notice. No one knew where she was and all began to lose hope that she was alive. We weren’t sure if she’d just left or if something bad happened to her. Four years later my mother and I got word she was sitting in at a lunch counter eating pizza with friends. When I heard this I was so upset.

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The Right Profile

The problem with me and ‘that girl’ is according to her website entries, I’m exactly what she was looking for.  She needed someone with a violent past who would reenact their pain on her. She needed someone broken, angry and ill. No one healthy would do what she wanted done. I was perfect!

When I saw her I had few red flags. I looked at her and worried but I thought it was because of my past not because of something she was doing. We went on a few dates and things seemed to be going very well then in an instant it all changed. The person I really enjoyed spending time with showed her true colors. At first I thought it would be fine for me to say no and tell her why but it became apparent to me that the stories were exactly what she wanted to hear. She wanted me to tell her what my mother did to her then do it to her. She wanted me to reenact the abuse with me as my mother and her as young me.

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Sister Talk

Despite feeling angry with her over the abuse, despite feeling angry with her for being “weak” there is a part of me that still loves my sister. Despite knowing “what” she is I still think she, like my mother, is physically beautiful.

It’s funny I can’t give my sister any more characteristics than beautiful. I can’t tell you if she had a certain “thing” or not. Everyone knows I’m into sunflowers and yellow ducks but for the life of me I can’t remember if my sister had a “thing.” I also can’t seem to attach any significant personality traits to her. I can’t tell you if she was funny or if she was a good cook. I can’t tell you if she liked tennis or fishing or anything much. My best description of her is that she was a flawless, perfect specimen of nothingness.

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When Can I Trust That I Am Loved?

I heard so many one line commands about who I shouldn’t trust but you never told me when its okay to trust.

Never trust a man when he tells you he loves you. He just wants to sleep with you.
Never trust anyone who says “trust me.”

When is it okay to believe a man who says “I love you?” Exactly when is it okay to trust at all? Please tell me, how did you summate the trustworthiness of a complete gender into one single sentence?

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