Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Steven Tyler’s Superbowl Costume

Oh Steven, Steven, why? Why have you actually turned into a lady?
Here’s the photo set up. Superbowl 2012. The woman to the left is Karen Hensel from WISH TV Channel 8, the woman to the right is legendary Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.  When I clicked the photo larger tears began to flow my eyes…tears of laughter.
I can’t believe I made fun of Steven Tyler on Facebook, but I did. Continue reading ‘Steven Tyler’s Superbowl Costume’

Conversation: Anxiety Relief

Anxiety is no laughing matter…not usually.

Grace:  I’m going to the doctor because of the anxiety. Hopefully he’ll prescribe some meds.
Me:  That’s a good idea to go see the doctor but I heard going on a killing spree works just as well as any anxiety medication.
Grace:  I heard the same thing.

Key to the Ear

I was talking to the cashier at Dollar Tree about aquarium plants when a gentleman listening asked a question too. After he paid for his things we stepped aside and began to talk a bit. He, like me, is a junior aquarist and wanted to know where to purchase healthy yet rare aquarium plants here in the city. While talking he took his car keys from his pocket, singled out one key, inserted it in his ear and began to clean it. He then pulled the key out, wiped it on his jeans and fiddled with the keys. When we stopped talking, maybe 5 or 6 minutes later, he wanted to shake my hand goodbye, but I declined. I told him I wasn’t trying to be offensive but I’m not really one to shake hands. He said he didn’t blame me because this day and age you never know what you’re going to get from simply shaking someone’s hand. Tell me about it!

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Cheap Wine

I’ve been eating so much better lately. For a bit there I skipped meals left and right or simply forgot. I never understood how someone could go the whole day and forget to eat but I’ve done it repeatedly. I think I forget because I’m paying attention to everything else or I’m wrapped up in one thing and overlook hunger. Time flies by and meals are missed. I used to laugh at the joke about how only skinny girls forget to eat but that’s not true, “women of size” forget as well. I’m not just a big girl; I’m a woman of size, thank you very much!

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Jane and the Twenty Foot Python

Jane has gone back to yowling at night. I lay there waiting for it. I’m not getting a lot of sleep right now, not good sleep anyway. Last night I tossed and turned something awful.

Before I went to bed I heard scratching inside my dresser drawer. I didn’t know what was going on UNTIL I opened the drawer and Jane popped out. What on earth is wrong with that girl? What’s wrong with me that I didn’t notice a 12 pound cat sitting in a dresser drawer? When I picked her up to see if she was okay she meowed at me like, “Why did you do that to me?”

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Murder Theory

 Murder Theory-Tuesday, July 26, 2011-3:21pm EST

I saw my nurse practitioner yesterday. This is the woman I’m not entirely a fan of but because of the convenient location I continue to see her. She’s the one who asked me if I have a problem with her because she’s straight and white. Why do I care who she’s sleeping with or what color she is? I’m just not a fan, period.

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Poison Ivy

I feel a little daft right now.

I know when I see poison oak but I don’t right off recognize poison ivy and I’ve never heard of poison sumac until of course I had to know. (sigh) It seems that two days ago when I went outside and cleared stuff off my fence line I cleared 2 out of three of these plants. Figures huh? Two of the youngest kids next door have it as well. We share a fence. Not good.

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