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Stuff In My Yard - Toys and Bugs
This little guy was on my screen door. He let me take his picture then flew off. Quite a beauty I thought. Nice wing spread and great patience for the fumbling photographer. I don’t know if he’s a Fire Fly or a Dragon Fly or what. I think he’s beautiful though. Thank God he didn’t fly off the screen into my hair and cause me to run screaming like a girl. Oh wait, I am a girl. Still, you see my point. It would have been really an ugly moment. Ugly like the day I stood on the chair screaming because there was a mouse in my living room. I seriously considered calling 911 but thought better of it. Bella, the huntress, abandoned me that day. I guess she thought it was nap time so she left me with Gracie, the non-huntress. So there I was on the chair with a mouse in the house. What option did I have but to call 911 or stay stranded on the chair? Actually, Grace rose to the occasion and killed the mouse. I was stunned. I was still on the chair for awhile because ya know the little bugger could have been faking his untimely death. Finally my roommate got home. I called him back, still standing on the chair, and had him remove the carcass. I came down from the chair and said, “We must never speak of this again.”
Okay, on to a more pleasant subject. Here are some of Cappy Crunch’s toys in the yard.
And yes, he even has a little sailor duck that squeaks. Unfortunetly this photo is a bit out of focus but I had nothing else to blog about so I’m tossing y’all crumbs….blurry little crumbs.
For other stuff in my yard click here. They’re mostly bug photos, cicadas and spiders and spider webs and a brown manid. Click only if you have mad love for bugs.
Austin
Mismatch Thoughts
I wish Barney hadn’t left a dowel rod on the kitchen counter for a week. I wish I’d said something about it a week ago. Why didn’t I ask him to move it?
I can’t give you another chance. I won’t give you another chance.
I have the money to go buy those red converse but I just can’t bring myself to go get them.
I liked giving you that gift but I didn’t do it out of kindness.
I won’t do too much panicking until the asshole moves in and gives me a specific reason to panic. I can’t believe he’s bringing his little dog. As anal as he is I’m sure he has a Shitzu.
The only colour in this house that’s bright is red.
When I go shopping if I don’t bring home something red I feel sad. It’s strange.
My house is girly. That’s not a complaint.
I don’t look my therapist in the eye when I talk to him.
I miss Maureen.
I’ve been jumpy lately.
You really know how to turn a small imposition into a catastrophe.
When I’m angry my language gets rough. I seem to curse like a sailor. It gets really bad. “Do you want a fuckin cookie? You want some motherfuckin’ milk with that shit?” It really gets bad, not quite that bad but bad enough. My language right now could use some soap.
When everything else seems out of control and unstable I grab onto whatever I feel I can control or keep stable. I just need one thing to stay the same and not change. I’ve eaten pizza daily for over two weeks now. This has to change because I’m lactose intolerant. I’m sure that sounds funny but I’m not happy about the change.
I’ve been painting pretty much non-stop for a few weeks now. There’s a large piece of paper on the door to the restroom, the door leading to Barney’s area as well as in the hallway. I also doodle and have 3 small paintings I’m working on. I need the feel and sound of brush against paper.
Joan
Mismatch Thoughts-Wednesday, May 14th, 2008-1:06AM EST
Getting Older
When visiting Beauty’s blog I like to read the quotes on her sidebar. Here’s one I saw today. I’m sure she won’t mind me yet again snatching a quote from her. I even snatch the icons on her sidebar from time to time and send them to her as if I discovered it somewhere other than her blog. I send them in email as if she has no idea those icons and pictures exist. “Oh look what I found. I thought you might like this. I’m sure you’ve never seen it before.” Anyway so today I saw a quote that reminded me of a journal entry I’ve been meaning to write.
The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been. -Madeleine L’Engle
Yes but, you do lose the natural colour of your hair forcing you to use box dyes to cover up the horrible realization that you inherited your grandmother’s wirey gold/gray hair. Damn you Grandmama, Damn you!
I was going to blog about my new gray hairs but figured I’d get no REAL sympathy, just comments of how early you went gray and how some of you guys have lost your hair, etc. Basically I figured I’d get comments like “suck it up Austin, you could be me.” Well dang it I’m not you AND I’m going gray. Is there no justice in this world? I don’t mind getting older it’s just that my inheritance really sucks. After all I’ve been through 6 wirey gray/gold Grandmama hairs is too much to take. Why! Why must this happen? Is there no justice for me? Can I return my inheritance. Can’t my gray hairs be one colour or the other and maybe even a little soft? It makes me wonder what that one (and I do mean one) little hair on my chinny chin, chin is going to look like in a few years. I shave that thing off but will I wake one day with it growing wild, dotted in gray and gold, piercing the pillow leaving a hole for feathers to escaped? Oh the humanity!
This was not supposed to happen to me. So in addition to breasts that compete for who can touch the floor first I now have to contend with my Grandmama’s gray hair. Do you know how tired I am of rolling my breasts to put them in the “sling”? I do the bending over, shaking dance to coerce them into the “sling” but the girls just don’t want to stay. Inevitably they peak out above the “Just My Size” brace forcing me to again bend over and shake them back into the perfect roll they were in before their escape. I lay in bed and they fall to my arm pits. Then and only then am I flat chested. If I get up too fast from a sitting position I could hurt somebody. I’ll never jog now. One wrong turn and I could take out a whole city block. The news report would be that a heavy set black woman with gray/gold hair and one (repeat one) gray/gold chin hair has been jailed for a drive by boobing.
My God does it not stop!!!!
Austin
Letting Go
(For Beauty -my thoughts on letting go, crying and allowing others to see us fall apart.)
The last time I broke down I started off by rocking a little bit. I was trying to pep talk myself, tell myself I’d be okay. My heart felt full and heavy. I could hardly keep my eyes open. My head felt heavy and I just couldn’t hold it up anymore. I hobbled to the bed, pulled the covers over me. They felt heavy, heavier than they actually are. My cat climbed up next to me as I lay on her teddy bear. I closed my eyes. I could feel my stomach churning, moaning and mourning, then the tears came. Strangely they left as quickly as they came. I felt like I’d not cried enough but I still wasn’t able to get up. I just laid there with the cat next to me and slept. When I woke up several hours later I felt somewhat better, not enough to make a huge dent in the grieving process but enough.
The difference it made was that I let go, even for a second or two I let go. Letting go wasn’t something safe for me, crying wasn’t safe. It meant getting hurt, getting laughed at, etc. So it’s not as if showing such strong emotion was rewarded. As a matter of fact showing vulnerability by crying or grieving got me hurt or got my sister hurt. Really then, what good did crying or grieving ever do me? Who was going to come and comfort me? Who cared if I was hurt or afraid or grieved? If my mother did answer the call it usually meant me paying for it in some way or another or her bringing it up mockingly for years on end. So what good did it do for me to show vulnerability or respond to horrible situations with natural responses like tears or panic?
Everything
I really have been out of touch. I haven’t even blogged in several days.
I don’t know, I’m so shut down right now. For a day or two I felt pretty good then got smacked really hard with some flashbacks. I think I’m right back where I started the other day with the whole withdrawing from everyone and everything.
A few new things - I’ve been getting postcard orders filled too. It paid off to show a few postcards to the people at the dental office the other day. One lady purchased 100 of them for retail purposes. I got invited to be a vendor at a Breast Cancer Awareness art show in Ohio.
My car is running, for how long I don’t know. I have to wait until the 3rd to insure it which means I won’t be driving it until then.
My neighbor made it out of his brain surgery well. I’ve been dashing over there to care for him and his three pooches. I’ll do that for the next 4 weeks. Grace turned 4 April 1st, Bella turned 2 on the 28th and Captain is working on not making it to 9. He keeps jumping the fence and running across the street to play with his buddies. These are the three pooches that I’m helping out with.
I was on the floor when I took this picture which is why they’re at this angle. A photo of them together doesn’t happen often.
That’s all for now.
Austin
Six Word Memoir
Enola tagged me for the six word memoir meme thingamabob.
Here are the rules -
1) Write your own six word memoir
2) Post it on your blog; include a visual illustration if you’d like
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links
5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!
So here is my six word memoir:
Sunflower breaches stone growing heaven bound.
I don’t have a picture to go along with this to show a sunflower bursting through odds (stone) so I’ll have to be a bit pitiful and slap up a few new art pieces that have sunflowers in them.
Pleasant and Pleasant Petals by F. Magdalene
I tag:
Because I’m so late on this there’s no one to tag
Dear John of CarrotsHiccups.com
I’ve been getting carrot hiccups for years. Well my wife, Carol, decided to look it up and found your site. I agree that there should be a site to support this odd affliction, and since I’m into blogging and have the carrot hiccups I’ll pick up the gauntlet and start the blog. I just ordered the domain and am waiting for it to resolve. carrothiccups dot com will be up soon. Give it a few days. Of course “The People Behind My Eyes” blog will have an honored spot in the links portion of the new Carrot Hiccups site. So please drop buy and share.
JP
From Hiccups and Carrots Support Group, 2008/04/24 at 7:20 PM
Dear Johnny P,
I feel I deserve a bit more as I’ve been supporting your hiccup group for quite some time. I believe some sort of certificate, some sort of award (preferably monetary) would be more appropriate than a link. Who was there for all you carrots and hiccups people when no one else was? Me. That’s right, me! Who stayed up with you in the middle of the night talking you through the hard hiccup times? Me. And who gave you a place to congregate, to come together for support, understanding, validation? Me. That’s right, Me. And you want to offer a mere link? My gracious, how ungrateful. All the years I’ve poured into Hiccups and Carrots Anonymous and you want to give me a link! All the blood, sweat and tears reduced to a link. That’s what I get for trying to help. I’m nearly swept to the corner instead of hailed like the queen I am. So much for my carrots and hiccups kingdom. There’s been a revolution, my reign is over. Damn you JP. Damn you! Rebel! (Austin stomps off in a huff)
Really though, thanks for dropping by. You gave me a laugh. All you carrots and hiccups people are still welcome at The People Behind My Eyes cause I’m sure you’ve got more problems than hiccups, most people do. Read here about abuse recovery and mental health awareness. See art, read poetry and everyday life entries. Welcome all, the recovered and still recovering from hiccups or whatever. Sit back and get ready. I intend to make you think. Welcome to Sundrip Journals.
Austin
Five Things
The author of Roses on The Moon tagged me for this. Here are five things:
5 Things Found In Your Bag (backpack)
Drawing pad
Black gel pens
Small toiletry bag
A little stuffed duck that use to be a PEZ dispenser
Peppermint candies.
5 Favorite Things In Your Room
These are just 5 things found in there, not favorites
Book shelves
A sunflower display on a wooden shelf above a framed print of Lady In The Trees. The display is high and the sunflowers spread out on the ceiling.
Cat fur lined drapes
A cabinet full of lotions of every scent, hair gel and small bottles of Purel.
5 Things You Have Always Wanted To Do
I’ve always wanted someone to come up with a mind reading machine so I didn’t have to type out stories I write in the middle of the night when I’m trying to go to sleep. Basically, I’ve always wanted to use a mind recording machine.
I still really want to dance with the guy that dances on the corner everyday. For some reason I just feel the need to get out there and dance with him.
I use to want a pet teranchilla but now I’ll just take a fish and be happy about it.
I want to learn to play golf.
5 Things You Are Currently Into
Painting
My iPod
Learning how to properly grow flowers- learning not to kill them is what I mean.
I’m into organizing the room I’m in now and filing things better.
I’m into golf. Since I know Tiger Woods rushes to my blog everyday to see how I’m doing I’d like to go ahead and send him a shout out. Hey Tiger!!!! Roarrrrrr, purrrrr <—– I love that man. I watch the golfers across the street every day and long to go over there. I WANT TO GOLF DANG IT! I do the girly scream every time I see his new commercial where he’s painting by hitting a golf ball full of paint against a canvas. When he signs it I nearly pass out. I love that man, almost more then Denzel Washington. Oh, since we’re talking about sports let me send a shout out to my girl Sarina Williams. Haayy! I’m sure I’m on her blogroll. hey Sarina, call me. You know the number. 555-Purr. Sarina, that’s power right there. My gracious that girl is good.
5 People You Want To Tag
I believe everyone and their brother has been tagged but I’ll go ahead and tag Tiger Woods, Sarina Williams, Denzel Washington, Forest Whitaker, Rob Thomas from Matchbox Twenty and last but not least Spiderman.
A Different Day
Today is in stark contrast from yesterday. I woke up feeling refreshed, almost peaceful. Funny the difference a day can make.
This painting is called Daydreaming. She’s similar to the painting Rainbow Child.
Please visit the Innocence Gallery on Sundrip.com for more paintings celebrating the imagination, wonder, play and song of childhood.
