Archive for the 'Medical' Category

Hospital Update

Published on February 10, 2012 in Emotions, Fear and Medical. 0 Comments Tags: .

They didn’t keep me as thought, they gave me meds and allowed me to come home with a friend who will watch over me. They gave me strong meds which they asked me to take for a short period of time.  As far as my regular meds go, one was doubled and one was added.

One of the friends that’s popping in took the opportunity in the ER to photograph me about an hour after being given that “knock a horse out” cocktail. I just wish she told me to lay down that dreadlock that’s standing straight up BEFORE she took the shot.

Because of being plastered I’m taking a few days from doing any kind of real thinking. Right now it wouldn’t be within my best interest to attempt to …. well, to think too hard. You know how you think you’re okay to manage things only later to find out you weren’t? I’m trying to avoid that. I just need a few days and I should be back to my normal dysfunction. For now I’m going to camp on my sofa in the living room so I can watch TV and the fish tanks.

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In the Hospital for SLE and Fibromyalgia

Published on February 10, 2012 in Art Therapy, Medical and PTSD. 0 Comments

On Friday I went to an art opening with a friend and it was fantastic. I didn’t want to go at all and started to cancel because my pain level was at a 9 and rising. Despite that I went and I’m happy I did. What happened later was that I ended up in the ER because the pain level hit a 10 and I simply could not take it. I said weeks ago that I’d considered going to the ER but didn’t, this time I did. When I got there they looked at my records and asked a few simple questions. They asked how I usually manged my pain. I answered honestly then told them that my usual method wasn’t managing this flare up. He asked when the last time it was I came in for a “cocktail” and I told him it had been awhile. According to my records it was 2 years ago.

No social workers showed up and no questions about my mental health were posed. They asked one major question: What can we do to help you? I asked for a one time cocktail that would relieve the pain enough that I could manage it again. With that I was given a shot of Morphine, Demerol an injection of Prednisone. They then had me swallow two pills for nausea and gave me two percocets. This cocktail could knock out a horse but I was wide awake the whole time.

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I’m Not Sure Why

Published on January 13, 2012 in Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Fear and Medical. 2 Comments

I’m not sure why but for the last week or so I’ve gone to bed with the desire to curl up and weep. I don’t really know why I feel so grieved.

I swore I was going to eat something today and I did. I had a large salad but I didn’t eat the pork chop. I just didn’t want it.

I read 39 chapters of 41 in a book I discovered just today. I stopped reading when there was a knock at the door. Why would someone knock on the door at 10pm? He knocked several times until finally I went over to the door and said, “Sir, please leave.” He said, “What?” I repeated it to which he said, “Okay.” He then turned around and left. He got into his truck which he left running and with the lights on. Strange. One part of me says he might have the wrong apartment but that didn’t make me feel safe enough to say anything other than, “Please leave.” I had my phone in my hand just in case there was a repeat of the guy who did something similar years ago who refused to leave and forced me to kick his ass when he kicked my door in. I’ll finish the book tomorrow as I’m a little too unnerved tonight.

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Falling Down, Looking Forward

Published on October 11, 2011 in Anger, Emotions, Fear, Grief Sadness Loss, Medical and PTSD. 1 Comment

Have you ever eaten something that was almost too good to continue eating? I did that today. What I made was simple but once you put these two flavors together the mouth explodes with joy. Here’s what I did, I added Mandarin oranges to lemon jello then added whip topping. Simple yet absolutely awesome! In addition to my peppermint addiction I love the mix of orange and lemon, especially in a white cake with butter cream icing. That’s my favorite cake ever. Now I’ve got a favorite jello. :-)

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Serenity

Published on October 11, 2011 in Gratitude Journal, Medical and Pets. 0 Comments

There’s a guy that belongs to the fish club here that I’ve been talking to a lot lately. It seems many of us in the group, including Fin (not his real name) have some sort of physical illness that prevents them from getting out a lot. He has a total of 75 tanks in his house all of which are stunning. I’m in awe when I see them. He’s also got little frogs and chameleons too. I think it would be funny for me to have a chameleon. It seems the perfect pet for a multiple. LOL Anyway, he’s got a beautiful home full of fish that I could spend hours looking at. Also, he doesn’t mind that I ask question after question. His eyes light up and he doesn’t mind that I’m nearly giddy when looking at his tanks. No one in the club knows I have DID and I plan to keep it that way but I’m sure they’ll find out rather quickly that I’m odd. I’ve discovered they’re odd too but in a lovable way.

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On Falling, Anger and Humor

Published on September 27, 2011 in Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Grief Sadness Loss and Medical. 2 Comments

I told someone just the other day not to be too hard on herself when she falls down due to complications with Fibromyalgia, yet here I am pissed big time! I think the anger has to do with knowing what’s ahead after the fall rather than being angry about the fall itself. I know the next few days, if not longer, are going to be filled with extra pain. On top of already too high of a pain level I get to deal with the pain of strained muscles and bruised arms and legs. I get to deal with headaches…and a culture clash.

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Enough to Make a Difference

Published on July 27, 2011 in For the Record and Medical. 1 Comment

I’ve known Grace for more than 10 years now but I’ve never met her face to face. Before her house burned down maybe 3 years ago, we talked every other day, now it’s about once a week. A fire that destroyed everything has taken up a lot of her time. Rebuilding has been difficult at best. Anyway though, it amazes me how much we think alike. Sometimes it amazes me but other times it freaks me out.

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