Archive for the 'Medical' Category

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Jobless. Home life. Art Therapy.

Published on May 26, 2011 in Anxiety, Art Therapy, Emotions, Medical, PTSD and Relationships. 2 Comments Tags: , .

I’m now jobless. There’s a whole story behind that which I’d rather not go into but… I’m now jobless and I’m happy as all get out that its not my fault. I didn’t screw it up.

I didn’t realize how much time had passed between entries. I’ve lost a heck of a lot of time in general.

I’ve been writing myself more and more notes so I can keep up with myself. I’m not sure its working.

Fife’s daughter has been here twice this week which has been mega stressful. Usually I make idol threats about people and say I want to beat ‘em up or something but I’m 100% kidding. With this girl I’m not. I really just want to stomp her in the ground. I wish I didn’t feel that way about her but I do. I want to bash her until I’m tired.

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Pasty doctor gives a reality check

Published on May 20, 2011 in Anxiety, Fear, Female Sadist, Medical, Mental Health, Pets and PTSD. 3 Comments Tags: , .

I’m still here. I’m sort of withdrawn, closed up, not really doing much outside of dealing with the kittens and therapy.

I met my new medical doctor today. I like him. He had me laughing when he described himself as pasty and ‘pigment deficient’.  I told him not to worry, its okay. Poor thing, it’s no true. He’s not going to be okay. I’ve never seen the likes of it. …. anyway…. The guy is hilarious but he’s also very kind. When getting blood work done he stayed with me.

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Stormy Indiana

Published on April 21, 2011 in For the Record and Medical. 2 Comments Tags: .

I’m happy I don’t live in California because earthquakes scare me more than anything. I was fine with 103 degree weather in Texas and fine with the 15 minute torrential rains in Tampa, Florida. I may not be okay with flooding and tornadoes here in Indiana but I’m used to it. I know how to prepare and when to evacuate.

This month we’ve had 20 tornadoes and we’re experiencing wide spread flooding. Two days ago water was up to the second step of 3 in my front yard and completely covered the tires on my car. When stuff like this happens this old house loses electricity which I’m also used to. I just prepare meals I know don’t require refrigeration and stock an ice chest with sandwiches and other prepared items. We have boiled water and several oil lamps as well as batteries, flashlights and other emergency items. I may not have a cellphone but the two people I live with do so we can call for help if needed.

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Time and Energy

Published on March 26, 2011 in Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Medical and Soapbox. 3 Comments

I want sleep but more than sleep I want escape. More than escape I want peace of mind. Right now I pretty much feel out of my head. I feel desperate. My hormones are out of control… again. Will I survive perimenopause then menopause itself? Will my roommates survive it?

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Dude, Why All The Negative Energy?

Published on March 15, 2011 in Gratitude Journal, Medical and PTSD. 5 Comments

I took the two pills prescribed by my dentist and got in the car to go to the appointment.  Stuffed securely in my pocket was my travel doll who offered soft, quiet support. In the front of my mind was how important it was to go through with this appointment and get this jaw bone dealt with. I was scared, no two ways about it, I was scared.

When my ride and I showed up the place was dark, so dark we wondered if anyone was coming. The sign on the door said they didn’t open until 9am but we had an 8am appointment. Soon it was 8:05am and the lights came on, someone unlocked the door and it was on. They reserve an appointment before the office opens for those of us who can’t handle much. I was ever so grateful to have the full staff there but a totally empty doctor’s office. For a full hour I was the only patient in the building. I was so grateful for that.

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Extreme Fatigue and Lupus

Published on March 7, 2011 in Depression and Medical. 1 Comment

I set up a phone because I was way too tired to drive but that didn’t fully take place because the fatigue hit even harder and I had to sleep. Sometimes the fatigue comes on out of nowhere. Like a ton of bricks it hits me and I absolutely have to lie down, no two ways about it, I have to lie down or fall down.  And its so strong it feels as if it’ll crack my mind. It’s almost as if that amount of tired is too much for my brain to handle and dangerously teeters on the brink of insanity.

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Dental Appointment

Published on March 5, 2011 in Anxiety, Medical and PTSD. 3 Comments

I knew I’d broken my tooth but what I didn’t realize was that I broke bone. In the last few days it was getting harder and harder to push that pain back, now I understand why.

I went to the dentist yesterday morning for the broken molar on top. I was quite nervous about going but when I got there the place was pretty empty and relatively quiet. I filled out the paper work then went back with the dental assistant who happened to be a middle aged, heavy set black woman. When I saw her I started to turn around and leave but I sucked it up and stayed. She was really nice, soft spoken, mild mannered.

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