Published on
February 5, 2010 in
Medical.
Sleep, sleep, sleep, take meds, sleep more, get up and try to eat. Sleep, get on Facebook, sleep, take care of the critters and sleep some more. Take more meds, eat, sleep a tad bit more, check Facebook and email before sleeping again. These flair ups are kicking my butt royally. I’m so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open.
Wednesday I got out of therapy around 4pm but didn’t get home until 9:30PM because I had to pull over and sleep. The fatigue this time around is no joke!
Flair ups for me seem to get longer and longer. The last one lasted about 3 months with a break of about 2 months. I made it through most of this winter half ways okay. I suppose now is my time to crash and burn. I am truly down for the count.
I’ll update when ever. Who knows…..no clue, none at all. Right now I’m heading back to bed.
fma
At the bottom of my entry I mentioned that I have a few symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I realized a few years ago that it was kind of creeping up on me. The symptoms are very much like that of depression but usually show up stronger during the winter season. It’s your typical list of symptoms:
* Depression * Hopelessness * Anxiety * Loss of energy * Social withdrawal * Oversleeping * Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed * Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates * Weight gain * Difficulty concentrating and processing information.
The depression, which can feel like that of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder depression is the type that drags you down so low you just can’t stand it. I literally walked around the house asking myself why I was so sad. It’s a deep, deep sadness that you don’t believe will lift. You spend a lot of time trying to figure out what’s wrong but there’s nothing specific to point to saying, this is why I feel so hopeless right now, this is why I wish to die. I kept trying to figure this out, am I harmonal? Am I, like my other family members, going through the change early? They all started around 35. I’m 38 years old. Could it be that I’m going through the change and that’s why I feel so out of control with emotions? I’m not certain but the one thing I do know is a month ago this out of control feeling started which is also when it started getting colder. Now, several years ago during the colder months I put in full spectrum bulbs as light therapy and it helped my depression.
Continue reading ‘Winter, S.A.D. and Global Warming’
…….I’ve considered it, strongly considered it. Despite the huge triggers due to past abuses I’ve been talking to my doctor about using acupuncture for the Fibromyalgia and the Lupus. I wonder how helpful it’ll be if they can’t put the needles in my hands or feet? Needles up and down my arms or in my feet is simply not an option. My head, neck, back, legs and all that they can work with but not my hands, arms, feet or butt.
Continue reading ‘Acupuncture’
Published on
November 17, 2009 in
Medical.
I did step one of my appointment. I now have 3 more to go. I plan to light some candles in the fireplace, eat a good dinner and watch a little TV. I’ll attend therapy tomorrow as planned.
Step 2 is tomorrow at 2:10PM.
fma
I had hoped to be able to schedule this MRI on a Tuesday so that I could go to therapy Monday, do the tests Tuesday then go back to therapy Wednesday. I figured after all that activity I’d be too dang tired to think about anything. I wanted to be able to fall back on physical exhaustion but the doc’s office called and wouldn’t allow me to wait until the 17th before acting. I go in tomorrow with the understanding that I do the MRI only and not the other tests in the same day. I’ll do the most important and the most revealing test first then come back to finish up the others but to do 3 to 4 hours worth of tests in one day then come home for a week end won’t be safe for me.
Continue reading ‘Next on the Schedule’
I keep forgetting what day it is. All day I thought it was Friday but it’s not, it’s Thursday. This means I missed my favorite show. I got to watch CSI Vegas but half way through it I thought to myself, I should start getting myself ready for therapy tomorrow. I don’t have therapy again until Monday.
When I realized I’d missed my show I felt angry but also felt like I wanted to cry. It wasn’t that I missed my show (I can watch the full episode on the net) it was that I feel so out of it. This morning Junior came to my door and asked me a question. I could hardly form a sentence. I just told him to come back later because I couldn’t think straight right then.
I have to make this appointment on Friday because when I have to see a specialist. In addition to sore muscles they fear I’ve done something to my spine and nerves in my left leg. I have an MRI Friday that I’d really like to make. I wonder though if my head is in good enough shape to do it though. Part of me wants to reschedule it while part of me says to go on and do get it over with. It’s just sort of difficult to keep my head straight and remember what day it is and what I’m supposed to be doing.
Continue reading ‘My Physical and Emotional Stumble’
Last night’s fall was pretty bad. I’ll need to go in and see my doctor which may end up being at the same time as my therapy appointment. I hope to somehow schedule them on different days. I know doing them both in one day won’t work for me.
My knees and ankles give out all the time but hardly ever do I hit the floor. I can at least catch myself or steady myself with the cane but last night I hit the floor. I even ripped the curtains off the rod and snapped the rod in half. I hit the trash can going down and smacked my head on the wall. Damn! I wish I’d gotten it on film cause I know I was flailing around. That was one award winning fall…… And the winner of the best fall of the year goes to Austin of Sundrip Journals. The crowd cheers. I go to accept my award but Kanye West interrupts with “That old lady on that commercial had a better fall because she couldn’t get up.” ………I laugh now but at the time there was nothing funny about it. I knew very well I was hurt but I wasn’t sure to what extent.
Continue reading ‘About Last Night’
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