The situation: I called to set up an appointment to get my internet installed but the installer complicated things to the point that I had to call the company. The main complaint was his aggression and unwillingness to complete the install. He wanted to make sure the line worked but didn’t want to hook my PC up to the line. He wanted me to sign the paper before the job was completed, before I had my new phone number and before I had the email address associated with my account. In addition to that he kept doing that man burp you hear in bars. He did it 5 or 6 times while he was here. Totally gross.
Archive for the 'PTSD' Category
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Self Love: An Opinion – Monday, November 28, 2011-2:46pm EST
I got a letter today from Grace who spoke of the elusive act of self love. She commented that everything and everyone is taken care of BEFORE she has her own needs met. This is common, I know. Mothers do it a lot, friends do it, teachers and everyone else. This is where my opinion on the matter comes in. I think part of the reason we do it has to do with running from ourselves. If I keep moving, keep doing for others then I move right past my own empty feelings and need for nurturing and care.
What an unpleasant surprise. I use a medical transportation service to get to therapy now. The service I use is much nicer than Yellow Cab. They’re cleaner and they don’t stress me. I do, however, sometimes have to share the ride with one other person. Today I was picked up early because a lady lived far away and he wouldn’t have time to get me to therapy on time if I didn’t just go with them. It turns out she lives within a stone’s throw of my mother’s house.
If you knew that at a certain time, in a certain place you’d be violated and humiliated would you show up at that time and place? Would you readily end other activities, get dressed then show up for that appointment or would you find a million reasons not to attend?
I put off sleep more than anything else. I avoid it like the plague but the problem is, in order to live I have to sleep. Man that’s cruel. In order to live I have to lay down, surrender and let my brain vomit all over me. That is cruel.
Some call it sleep but I call it a standing appointment for violation.
The Burden of Sleep – Monday, November 07, 2011 – 11:37pm EST
J of A
Usually Joan is the one to manage paper work and things like that but since she’s not around someone else had to do it. One of the good things about having jobs is that when a certain task comes up everyone knows who is going to do what. If it’s a public matter such as answering the phone, driving, filling out paperwork and stuff like that then we know Joan will handle it. If there’s a physical threat or a really hard decision to make then Morton handles it. If we have a job then we know what is expected of us and we know what to expect from others. When one person is absent from work then someone, anyone has to make up for the slack. Right now we have no idea who is able to handle the slack when Joan doesn’t show up for work. It seems random who will pick up the slack so to speak.
Have you ever eaten something that was almost too good to continue eating? I did that today. What I made was simple but once you put these two flavors together the mouth explodes with joy. Here’s what I did, I added Mandarin oranges to lemon jello then added whip topping. Simple yet absolutely awesome! In addition to my peppermint addiction I love the mix of orange and lemon, especially in a white cake with butter cream icing. That’s my favorite cake ever. Now I’ve got a favorite jello. 
I know I’m kind of quiet but here’s a few things I’ve been thinking about.
First and foremost I hope my good friend Kathryn doesn’t end up in the hospital. She’s been on my mind a lot. I know how difficult chronic pain is. Heck, it can drain you emotionally and physically then make you want to die just so it’ll all stop. My hope is that something will give for her so she can have a break. Too much, it’s just too much. I feel for her.
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