Archive for the ‘Stupid People’ Category:
Thief!!!
This guy is pissed because he lost the PayPal dispute. He sent me this email. I removed my information as well as his/hers.
Status: Delivered
Your item was delivered at 10:50 AM on January 26, 2008…..
Just so you know it is a federal offense to claim that your mail
was stolen. I am reporting you to the US Postal Marshal. Thief.
Working with ebay is so fun. This is an actual ebay message I got today. Forget the fact that I ordered the item way on January 7th, forget all the hassle I had to go through and that I had to contact Pay Pal about non receipt of the item. This is the type of mentality I’m working with here. I can’t do anything but laugh. For some reason the last word in this ridiculous contact just strikes me so funny. This is a power ebay seller or maybe it’s his/her child playing on the computer. LOL Dang, how low can you go? How childish can you be? Heck, how inaccurate can you be?
Yes, I want to go to jail for an item that costs less than $10. I’m willing to lie through my teeth, go on and on and on with Pay Pal about the item and get major fines for this. Yup, that’s me, a lying thief. Oh they need to be happy I’m in a good mood. Now I just have to wait a few days to see what kind of feedback they’re going to give me so I can word mine correctly and professionally. I’ll tell ya, sometimes people can really go overboard in their pressures especially when they’ve been proven wrong. Tisk, tisk, tisk. I’m afraid I’m going to have to put this little boy in time out for name calling. And no snack for you today. Keep it up and I’ll take the TV away from you too. Now get out of my face!!!!
Austin <—- Thief!!!!!!! Gracious
This Isn’t About You
When I call you I hope you’re up to what I have to say. When I pick up the phone you better be ready to take on any anger I spill forth. It may have nothing to do with you or anyone you ever knew but you’ll feel it. For a few seconds I won’t consider where you are in your life or how you’ll feel about my words. I just plan to lay it all out, get all this pent up anger off my chest. I don’t care if you’re ready, I don’t care if you can take it. I want what I want. I want to scream.
Cab Company Saga Continues
Today does bring something different; it brings a calmer me to a table of idiots. It seems that since Thanksgiving the cab company has experienced a lot of fraud cases where people attempt to use Medicaid to pay for trips that Medicaid doesn’t pay for. I only got this information when I called to ask my therapist’s office why it is that they verified my appointment to the cab company without my permission to give out my name and the name of the doctor that I’m seeing. It seems that since November the cab company has experienced and influx of fraudulent cab rides, however, it doesn’t mean that every time an address shows up different that the rider is lying or cheating someone. Never does it justify calling a customer to call them a liar and a cheat.
True Crime Stories
It was nice to know that once on Technorati I was at 88 thousand. Then I dropped to 134 thousand. Moving my blog means I start over. This blog ranks at 8,911,336. Yes, that is 8.9 million. How does one go from 88 thousand to 8.9 million in so little time? Scrappers. Damn dirty scrappers, that’s how. No worries, I scratched and clawed my way to the upper top of Technorati once and I’ll do it again.
As I contacted this and that person I began thinking again about how my system as a whole rather takes pride in telling on one another. The thing is, if I ever commit a crime (again) and I’m taken before a judge my system WILL tell on me. They know nothing about all for one and one for all when it comes to keeping our little crime secrets. I can just hear us now. “Joan did it. I saw her. I even took notes. You can find it on our blog and on that one guys blog too.” We really do tell on each other like that. For some reason we know nothing about holding our tongue when it comes to tattling. If I say, “Hey, who ate the cookies and didn’t leave me any?” I’ll hear name after name of who partook of the goodies. “It was Maureen. At 2PM EST she walked into the kitchen in her house slippers and ate your cookies. Then Robert went in around, let me check my notes, around 2:15 and had some too, followed by……” I have no idea why we do that but we do. It’s not like anyone is going to be in trouble or anything. What am I going to do, send them to their own private corner of my mind to think about what they’ve done? No. So it makes no sense to me why we are all so willing to tell on one another.
Since the statue of limitations is surely up by now I might as well go ahead and set the record straight on my early years of breaking and entering. Well, let me just say that my mother was the type that didn’t believe in sugar. She read that horrible book called “Sugar Blues” like it was Scripture. We had no sweets what so ever so I had to take it upon myself to get it. Let me back up, she had us so scared of sugar early on that we were convinced that it was poison. Once in the store I asked her why people were so willing to buy a 5lb bag of poison. That’s when it became obvious to me that this type of poison didn’t kill you. You could buy it in large quantities and live. Thus began my curiosity. But where would I try out this poison? All we had was that health food stuff, you know the fake licorice and cookies w/ no sugar, carob based products and other foods sure to bring horrible flashbacks in the form of indigestion. Fortunetly for me my neighbors were stocked on this white powder poison. All I had to do was get to it. Back then people still felt safe leaving their doors open. It was okay to do that even in the early 80’s where I lived. Well, while this unsuspecting family went on a picnic or whatever I broke into their house (they left it unlocked, no breaking required) and helped myself to the Little Debbie’s. I was hooked. My first real taste of sugar was in the 4th grade and I was hooked. I was in love and her name was Little Debbie. So, when ever that family put on their bonnets and left the house I paid them a little visit.
You know how when you were a kid your parents would ask who ate such and such? You’d say you didn’t know then they’d say, “Oh I guess someone broke in and ate it” or “I guess someone broke in and did that.” There is at least one child in America who wasn’t lying when he said, “I guess so cause it wasn’t me.”
It was Joan. I saw her do it…… Guilty. Guilty as charged!
In other news on the grossly unjust ways of the world, here is a short letter to a friend of a friend:
Dear Friend of a friend,
No, I’m sorry but I won’t watch your child for 12 hours, feed him at my own cost and get only $15 for it. I could go to a sweatshop and make more.
Sincerely,
Your friend’s friend who isn’t that desperate
What is wrong with people and all of me? I don’t understand it. I really don’t. I’ve never seen so many people drunk with stupidity.
What’s Wrong With Me?
Nothing chocolate can’t fix.
Last night I wondered why I was on the verge of tears at every turn. Why was I so ready to snap off the head of anyone who looked at me half ways wrong? I did figure it out and I gave myself a little temporary fix. Then I went and turned in 7 bastard spam blogs. Yup, it only takes one of me to come up for air while the rest of us hang in the balance of PMS.
Austin
Survivor China Episode 6
Why on earth anyone would choose to eat a chicken fetus is beyond me or why anyone would eat a thousand year old egg is even further beyond me but I suppose someone out there eats it. Maybe the producers of Survivor China made those two dishes up. Maybe they found villagers who heard stories of hard times, villagers that were half brain ravaged by untreated syphilis and they gave the producers recipes for these “delicacies.” Either way, it was nasty as all get out. This nastiness and a strong reaction by a teammate caused the strongest man in Survivor China to bypass a chance to save himself and put into action Todd’s diabolical plan. James may have traded chivalry for a million dollars. He knew by finishing that “delicacy” it might mean they would win immunity and throw off Todd’s plan but he wouldn’t’ force the lunch lady to finish her chicken fetus dish. It was a beautiful moment in human kindness. I’m impressed James, even more impressed by your chivalry than the back view of your public shower. How on earth can such beauty be legal? Only in the forests of China and the streets of L.A. do such crimes go unpunished. Your beauty is a crime and you should be punished James, oh so very punished.
Speaking of beauty, Sherea I’m sorry you got kicked off but it was inevitable. Eighteen days in China is something I’ll never experience. You can tell your grandchildren about how the light-footed one Todd conspired to have you kicked off the show. They kept self proclaimed bad boy John-Robert instead of you. It wasn’t personal but I know it hurts. Todd, light footed one, your day is coming. I hope it is James, The Beautiful One, that stomps all over your little scheming self and sends you back to the airlines to serve over priced coach meals. Dear little airline steward, your days are numbered, not because your game is tired but because you’re devious, conniving and know nothing about loyalty. Take a look at The Beautiful One, now that is a gentleman, a true gentleman. And Sherea, I figure you didn’t call me because of the lines being down and everything. Maybe you couldn’t get 5 bars where you were but you’ll be back in the states soon. Call me girl. No excuses this time. We’ve got the network here, call me.
P.G. What on earth is your problem? My goodness you have serious issues. You wished your grandfather could see you in his homeland but would he be proud of the way you’re playing or would he understand that his granddaughter is driven by greed and shaded ideas of value and worth? It might be good that he doesn’t know in his homeland you brought Western grown values. It might be better that he can’t see you lose honor this way.
That’s it for my rant, rave and cat call on Survivor China.
(Read the Survivor China Blog.)
How To Annoy Someone Properly
- Show up extra early to pick them up then sit outside their house and call them every 10 minutes.
- Once inside the vehicle pop your gum loudly enough to break the sound barrier. Dare them to say anything.
- Contact the people at the drop off point to let them know you’ve rubbed your party’s nerves raw and you’ll soon pass her on to them to do the same.
I believe my bus driver had these few rules in mind when she showed up at my house at 8am when she wasn’t supposed to be here until 9:45AM. I believe she made that call too.
Dear Gum Poppers:
This comes as a shock to you, I know, but whomever told you gum popping is anything less than a legitimate cause to kill you lied. Gum popping isn’t a skill. Learning to pop your gum at super high frequencies should not find itself on your list of goals. If it is you must rethink your purpose in life. If you’re a gum popper you should make sure you’re not annoying in other ways too as this could lead to violence from which you may never fully recover. As I understand it, several states are now offering a get out of jail free card for people that rid the streets of gum poppers. For your own safety you must cease and desist gum popping.
I consider gum poppers at the same level as people that jog in 30 below weather in super tight shorts. Blizzard joggers should cease and desist for the same reasons.
Sincerely,
Gum popper hater
Why is it that gum poppers usually have blueberry or watermelon flavored gum? So in addition to the popping you can smell artificially flavored Hubba Bubba. It’s not right. In fact, it’s 10 shades of wrong or as the 80’s rocker said, “That was sautéed in wrong sauce.” Also wrong on every level was the check in at the caseworker’s office.
Little did I know cameras in government buildings aren’t allowed. In fact, they’re listed on the same sign as weapons that won’t be returned if you bring it in the building. Evidently they fear someone will photograph them not working and send it to the papers or something. I told them they couldn’t have my cam. I’d leave and reschedule. They let me check it in then go up to see my caseworker. I asked if they wanted the lotion I was carrying too. Lord knows I wouldn’t want to moisturize someone to death, I said. They thought it was funny. Once inside with the caseworker there was no stress and no fuss. In fact, she was nice…too nice. I kept looking over my shoulder for fear it was a set up. Would a second worker turn the cubicle corner and attack me with my own camera? I was scared. My heart races as I slowly reached into my purse and popped the cap of my lotion. I was ready for a fight.
“Cause of death: blunt force moisturizing to the frontal lobe.” “It was a horrible death but man she’s supple.” “If you have to go, you might as well go supple.”
Give me a break people, it’s lotion….or is it? (dun, dun, dun, dunnnn)
Austin
Disastrous Desserts
I should have asked for ID before inviting her over. I should have done a background check, a horoscope check, did some numerology or some sort of voodoo to see if I should leave the house but no, I went about this date thinking I’d be okay. Okay was not in the cards for me, no sir re Bob. So here we go, we’re sitting on my porch eating pudding, watching the stars through a fog filled sky when she decided she’d like a Pepsi. Well, I didn’t have any here so we went to the store. At the store a drunken 80’s band singer wanna be stumbled in. Instead of just letting Mr. Rock N Roll go about his business she started talking to him, asking him what was in the cup. Now, it’s not like I wouldn’t have done the same. It just would have been at a time when I wasn’t on a date. So, she’s talking to him, tells him she can smell the Polo he’s wearing. She asks him if he’s drunk. He said he was fine but then turned to me and said, “But I can see two of you, fat ass.” I said, “Please feel free to kiss both of my asses.”
I have no idea how I got involved in that whole thing but he decided to drag me in it with a “fat ass” comment. My response got a laugh from on lookers so I didn’t feel as bad as I would had I not come back with that. Before he could stumble out in his super tight white jeans and hair that was two strands shy of a mullet she went into a rant and rave about being fat. It seems this 25 year old mother of 4 is also sensitive about her weight. (Note to self: ask age and number of dependents before agreeing to a date.) Can this get any worse? On the way back to my house she asked if I’d be able to support her financially. So much for we’re just having pudding. Back at my house she picked up her rant and rave again. She explained that she’s on SSI for anger issues then went on to express unbridled rage directed not at the super skinny 80’s rocker but at “Mexicans”, Deaf people, White people, Black people, Muslims and men. I basically dated the female version of MacBlue. It seems she has issues with McDonald’s employees too. The whole “may I take your order” thing gets on her nerves. She turns around and leaves when asked that stupid question. In case you’re wondering, no I didn’t meet her at the local loony bin. At least I didn’t shave my legs for this.
I have to admit, the more I date casually the more I realize just how laid back and almost conservative I am. I said that to someone today, about being conservative. She (you know who you are) was rather shocked I’d use that word in reference to myself. I guess what I mean is, I’m a homebody, the domestic type, a girl not looking for a wild night out on the town. I’m opinionated and out spoken but not loud and boisterous. I’m not the crowd type at all. I think I know what’s right and wrong and I’m willing to press my ideas on others. I’m willing to say, No, that’s not right and here’s why I think that. I’m not always open to agree to disagree, not with a strong sense of being a know it all. I may shut up and not argue but it doesn’t’ mean I’m not set in my ways. Lord, at 36 I’m set in my ways. I’m also quite shy when it comes to dating. I lose my self confidence big time and get rather shy, dare I say girly until much further into the relationship. Even further in I’m usually not the dominant one. I’m outspoken always but when it comes to relationships I tend to speak my mind but cave to her needs.
So what do I want? Space. In between that space I want someone to pamper then I want more space. After a bit of space I want someone to share a dinner with, maybe trek around the golf course awhile, go to the dog park, watch a DVD, go to a museum and other low key stuff. I want a reader, a homebody like myself. I want someone with self confidence, someone I don’t have to always build up and reassure of their inner and outer beauty. I need her to have a bit of culture, someone who doesn’t think Red Lobster has the best seafood in town. She doesn’t have to have a college education. She doesn’t have to sport a passport that’s been to various third world countries. She doesn’t have to be a 10. I want someone kind, someone on the same wave length with me at least 50% of the time.
If I’m going to date between spaces I’ll need to find someone I have a little more in common with. I might have to remember not to be so opinionated though. It tends to make people uncomfortable. Opinionated people come off as judgmental and that’s not really a great thing to add to my “why you should date me” list. Nobody likes to be judged.
J of A
Survivor China - Week 2
OMG I love that show. Let me be truthful, I love the fact that most of the girls are running around in their underclothes because they were forced to leave their worldly possession behind. The black chick (Sherea) is wearing a Just My Size bra with purple panties. The professional wrestler, well she chose a Victoria Secret-like lacy panty. She’s kinda skinny, not my type but in those knock off undies, I wasn’t complaining. Okay, enough of that. Anyway, I don’t know if anyone noticed James. You know, the buff black guy with the bald head who should never, ever, and I do mean ever wear a shirt to cover those abs and perfectly sun baked skin. Yum James. Just one word, yum. He said he’s shy and not too social. I guess being a grave digger doesn’t give many opportunities for socialization unless you’re from Ghost Whisperer. He said he hopes people will fall in love with him. James, let me say this, “I love you.” I profess my undying love for you until the black chick comes around to Indy to spend forever with me.
Okay, onto challenges. The poker player Jean is on his last card. He’s got to remember he’s not at a poker table. He’s got to remember strategy works but only in conjunction with physical action at camp and during competition. At this point only he knows his strategy but everyone else knows his inaction. Step it up Jean or you’ll find that you’ll be forced to step out of Survivor China.
As for the radio host aka “Thumper”, girl stop trusting the tiny fairy Todd. He’s not trustworthy. He’s a schemer, stop trusting him. Jean called Fairy Todd devious and was correct. It’ll come back to bite him and when it does he can take his flight attendant self right back to where he came from and embarrass his church there. End of fairy tale. No happy ending for him. I have to give it to the radio host for not bowing down in the temple. I wish you hadn’t cried like that but I offer great respect for being willing to walk out of there because you thought it was the right thing to do. “They” said this isn’t worship but lets go inside the temple and bow down 37 times before an idle. You said no and I respect that however, please stop crying Thumper, let go of the whole emotional trip and play the game. I’ve only seen you do it twice but it’s already old. Don’t get on my nerves again okay? It won’t fair well for you on my blog and I know how important it is for you to fair well on The People Behind My Eyes. I have much in store for Fairy Todd. I plan to dog him and Jean left and right. Don’t put yourself on my personal chopping block because you’re a friggin cry baby. Suck it up and play the game.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdpVaXrTTbw]
I’m not sure why it was important for Survivor to name Todd the “gay Mormon” unless the purpose was to embarrass the Mormon Church. If that was the purpose- mission accomplished. Survivor seems to like their “gay Mormon’s”. They seem to bring in one as often as they can, but that’s neither here nor there. What is the purpose of noting the sexuality of the players? No one calls James the “heterosexual gravedigger should be a Chip-N-Dale” or Sherea the “super hot heterosexual school teacher and member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. who should consider women.” I’m not the straightest girl in America but if I ever find myself on Survivor (yeah right) I won’t introduce myself as “Austin of Sundrip, the lesbian blogger.” My surname isn’t “Lesbian” so it doesn’t need to be attached to me and every organization I’ve ever been a part of. Enough said.
As for the leader of Zhan Hu, your overbearing ways are going to put you on the chopping block. You have good ideas. Making bricks out of the mud was a good idea but your attitude will put you in the same fire you so desperately try to build. Don’t be a jackass. The other tribe has physical strength against you. You need the food. You have it. Eat something ya moron. Feed your tribe and use the energy you gain from food to work and compete. Superman you aren’t so stop trying to prove something and play the game to win for your dissension riddled tribe. The other tribe has brawn; it makes sense that they’re winning physical competitions so figure out how to pit them against each other and make their strength become their weakness. Heck, let them get puffed up, go in with the attitude that they can’t be beaten then break them down one by one. Sabotage wins wars my little tired and ego driven leader.
You might also want to look from within and see why it is you’re allowed to be so annoying. Perhaps your ego overshadows your brain. Look at your people, look at who hangs with whom and question it. You might see you’re not just a leader but a pawn. I personally would like to see you out wit the light footed one who put you in this position of authority.
Black chick in the Just My Size bra and blue-light-special panties please call me. Until then, I’ll see you in my dreams. I should go to bed early.
That’s all for my Survivor China week 2 rant, rave and catcall.
Austin of Sundrip, Lesbian blogger
Austin of Sundrip, Lesbian ex-Catholic School Student…
Lesbian ex-chef . Lesbian starving artist. ...see, it’s senseless.
Survivor China- Week 2
Thursday, September 27, 2007-8:56PM EST
A Bit of Wholesome TV Then Violence
Well, tomorrow is the season premier of Kid Nation. After a bit of good wholesome family entertainment is the season premier of Criminal Minds. Time for some good old fashioned hard core violence with hard core music. (cue hard rock music and head banging “Too late, I’m coming undone, I’m coming undone, too late.” Note to self- get this song off Napster.)
I plan to watch the season premier of CSI. (cue song A Woman’s Work- Oh hooooo, ooooo… note to self- you’ve got this on Napster.)
I should be ashamed of myself for watching Big Brother 8. I did, I watched the last few and the finale. I can’t believe Dick won. The man lives up to his name with a capital D. He’s a jerk in every sense of the word. I wonder if there’s video of him sniffing coke or something. He’s so dang skinny, oh and the black finger nail polish gross!!! He looked so strung out. And those teeth. Please stop smiling Dick, it’s not attractive. What was with the Sid Vicious jacket? Please, stop. Just stop cause I can’t take it. I think Jessica and Dick’s daughter Danielle were actually competing for top bimbo. Danielle won. The black chick and the her roommate had church as often as they could but the black chick traded her Bible talk for some slang. I was disappointed, made her look kinda bad.
Tell me Eric doesn’t really think he and Jessica are going to get together after the show? He can’t be serious. I mean for real. See, in the show there wasn’t much competition but in the real world he’s back to being a skinny nerd which wouldn’t be that bad if he weren’t a skinny nerd with severe issues and a serious case of dishonesty. I look at him and think, Oh my goodness, what an evil little man. Yuck! Then of course there’s the one chick with the really long hair that laughed at the wrong times and cried at the wrong times. She’s so bipolar it’s not even funny….really, it’s not funny. I felt for the girl. How uncomfortable does she have to get before someone forces her into treatment? For real, she’s got some emotional issues and some chemicals that are in desperate need of pharmaceutical intervention. And who on earth told Zach that all that hair gel was attractive? Come on now Zach, let the gel alone. Just stop, please, it’s time to put the gel down and move forward with your life. Don’t get all pasty and tearful, just let it go. And since I’m talking bad about them all lets go for the black chick’s Bible study partner. The girl almost dehydrated herself crying so much. She cried at every turn. I’ve never seen so many tears….wait, let me take that back. My ex cried more but never did she get a chance to win half a million bucks by out bitching others while holed up with a Lucifer look-alike, an elf, and a few bimbos.
Okay, so tomorrow is Kid Nation followed by betrayal, doubt, suspicion and death. That’s just the update on OJ’s life then comes Criminal Minds. Bring it on!
A Bit of Wholesome TV Then Violence-Wednesday, September 19, 2007
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