My sister and I were in our mother’s bedroom together. She was looking for something but I had to use the restroom. I went to my mother’s private restroom to go but when I flushed the toilet it began to overflow. At first I didn’t panic I just flushed it again in hopes it would correct itself. Three times I flushed it and each time the swirl went faster and faster and rose to the top faster and faster. I was somewhat intrigued by the swirling which is why I flushed it continuously. Soon I realized it was useless and that not only was I standing in water but so was my sister by my mother’s bed.
The dream then changed so that instead of the toilet overflowing the water bed began to spill all over the floor foamy white water like a bubble bath. Just like with the toilet, the leak started out slow then got completely out of control. We searched the bottom of the bed to see if there was a valve but we couldn’t find one. The sister jumped on top of the bed to the headboard but the water came out so fast we couldn’t see anything. When I got up there to see for myself I noticed above the headboard was a private storage area of all our personal belongings. There were dolls and toys, boxes and boxes of them stacked around this storage compartment. I wanted to stay and look around but I knew we had to fix the leak before the mother got home.
Continue reading ‘DREAM: The Great Flood’
*sexual content*
Dream from Thursday morning 12-10-09
The dream started out with me sitting in the living room of the last house I lived in with my mother. There were 8 people there, 4 on each sofa which faced one another. We were discussing what to do while the mother was out of town on a two week Christmas vacation. I’d set up a rotation of friends to spend the night while she was gone and she wanted to know who it was. I began explaining it to her when she interrupted me and told me I didn’t clean underneath the sofa. I was rather irritated and told her, “You mean to tell me you’re going to respond to my house cleaning by pointing out what I didn’t do? That’s what you’re going to focus on, the one thing I didn’t do?” In the dream I’d cleaned the entire house, washed the windows, cleaned the oven and refrigerator. Her only comment about the house was that I didn’t clean under one sofa. I was seriously irritated.
Continue reading ‘DREAM: Tear Down This Emotional Wall’
This is from the dream about my sister and the rapper guy who turned into a girl. I say the dream was about my sister because one of the things that stuck out for me was that I felt she again failed to act to protect herself or me. She wasn’t there for me. I realize how let down and even cheated I feel by not having her even attempt to be the stereotypical big sister. In my heart I know she just didn’t have it in her but there’s another part of me that is angry and resentful of the fact that it was the youngest in the family who fought her battles (and lost them) instead of her. I think the fact that I was there for her so often makes it even harder to swallow that she can’t stand the ground I walk on and never could. That too has a “but” because I know my mother made sure we didn’t become friends. The other “but” is….it still hurts.
In the dream the rapper girl and I were encouraged to fight. People wanted to see us go at one another for their own pleasure. They didn’t care who won they just wanted to see a fight. It was about the show not the issue of feeling like I’d ignored her. Once she and I decided we didn’t care what the others wanted us to do we tried to come to some sort of agreement. That’s when a character popped in and promised things he couldn’t deliver. I was only slightly hopeful but still hopeful that I’d get this paradise I wished for. When I asked for peace of mind too and didn’t get it I knew the guy was a fake.
Continue reading ‘Watercolor and Oil’
The meeting took place in the kitchen of a house I don’t think I’ve ever been in. Everyone was stark naked, openly exposed as it were. I was dripping wet and toweled off as my mother made her announcement. The mother called the meeting to let everyone know she’d had enough of her two daughters and was moving out. Two teenage boys (black, unknown) told the mother if she moved in with them they’d take care of her and wouldn’t abandon her needs like her daughters did. She said she was grateful but wanted to go live with an older lady until my sister and I got ourselves together enough to accept her back into the household. My sister excused herself and wasn’t seen again in the dream until the very end.
Continue reading ‘DREAM: Family Meeting 1 of 2′
The full dream is written here.
COMMENTARY:
Before I went to bed last night I thought, man I need a good hot meal and a nice glass of water. When I had bulimia-like issues so long ago it was only junk food I’d keep down. I’d binge heavily and keep it down faster than if I ate a healthy meal. If I ate a good meal I didn’t sweat for I’d almost immediately throw it up. I didn’t think I deserved good food I didn’t break my back or trade my body to get. In the dream when I lived with her I ate junk food but vowed to eat healthy when she left. I think in the dream instead of it being a symbol that I’d throw it up I was showing that I’d leave behind the idea that all I was worth was crap. I think my self worth attached to food was turned the right way. Junk food in excess is abusive to the body, healthy food helps you thrive. The dream started in the kitchen and pretty much kept the food theme through out.
Continue reading ‘DREAM: Family Meeting 2 of 2′
In last night’s dream the police were attempting to catch a woman who murdered hundreds of 6 and 7 year old Caucasian boys by cutting off their penis. She gave them chocolate bars to eat and when their faces were full and sweet she killed them and left them on the floor like garbage. She photographed them and sent them to other pedophiles who also like snuff. The police raided a woman’s house and found a folder with a huge collection of these photos. She was held for questioning then accused of killing the boys. I asked the officer what proof he had that she killed them? If she was going to prison I wanted to know what proof there was to send her there. He said, “What proof is there she didn’t do it?”
The photos were graphic, clear and many.
The officer handcuffed the woman and walked her down the hallway to the cruiser where she as to be taken to jail. As we walked I argued with him, “What proof is there that she’d done this?” “What proof is there that she didn’t do it?” Back and forth we went. I argued for her, he argued against her. Our argument was as if we’d both forgotten she was guilty of child pornography and hiding numerous homicides and focused solely on if she’d killed the boys herself. I saw her as innocent because there was no proof she’d killed those boys. The officer saw her as guilty because there was no proof for her innocence or guilt so he chose which one she was.
Continue reading ‘DREAM: Male Genital Mutilation’
DREAM
My apartment building was going to be demolished so the residents had to be moved to other government funded housing. Everyone found a place to relocate save a small group which I was a part of. There was only one more apartment building that had 7 one bedroom apartments open so the small group piled into a white van and drove over. Once we got there and walked in there was a powerful smell of death in the hallway. The apartment building itself was clean but the smell could knock you over. People moved around here and there, socialized and such without even noticing the smell. They’d become accustomed to it but the small group was nearly gagging. The old building manager wanted to see the new manager to ask what could be done about the smell before we all moved in but she couldn’t be found. I worried that even if I washed every day with strong soap I’d still walk around smelling like death. Surely it would seep in my clothing, in my hair and follow me everywhere. No matter how hard I tried to cover it up the smell of death would be over me. Still I was placed in a small room with others to wait for an assigned apartment.
Continue reading ‘DREAM: Porcelain, Guns and Sisters’
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