Archive for the 'Dream Therapy' Category

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DREAM: Male Genital Mutilation

Published on June 29, 2009 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Female Sadist and PTSD. 2 Comments

In last night’s dream the police were attempting to catch a woman who murdered hundreds of 6 and 7 year old Caucasian boys by cutting off their penis. She gave them chocolate bars to eat and when their faces were full and sweet she killed them and left them on the floor like garbage. She photographed them and sent them to other pedophiles who also like snuff. The police raided a woman’s house and found a folder with a huge collection of these photos. She was held for questioning then accused of killing the boys. I asked the officer what proof he had that she killed them? If she was going to prison I wanted to know what proof there was to send her there. He said, “What proof is there she didn’t do it?”

The photos were graphic, clear and many.

The officer handcuffed the woman and walked her down the hallway to the cruiser where she as to be taken to jail. As we walked I argued with him, “What proof is there that she’d done this?” “What proof is there that she didn’t do it?” Back and forth we went. I argued for her, he argued against her. Our argument was as if we’d both forgotten she was guilty of child pornography and hiding numerous homicides and focused solely on if she’d killed the boys herself. I saw her as innocent because there was no proof she’d killed those boys. The officer saw her as guilty because there was no proof for her innocence or guilt so he chose which one she was.

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DREAM: Porcelain, Guns and Sisters

Published on April 16, 2009 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, PTSD and Therapy. 0 Comments

DREAM

My apartment building was going to be demolished so the residents had to be moved to other government funded housing. Everyone found a place to relocate save a small group which I was a part of. There was only one more apartment building that had 7 one bedroom apartments open so the small group piled into a white van and drove over. Once we got there and walked in there was a powerful smell of death in the hallway. The apartment building itself was clean but the smell could knock you over. People moved around here and there, socialized and such without even noticing the smell. They’d become accustomed to it but the small group was nearly gagging. The old building manager wanted to see the new manager to ask what could be done about the smell before we all moved in but she couldn’t be found. I worried that even if I washed every day with strong soap I’d still walk around smelling like death. Surely it would seep in my clothing, in my hair and follow me everywhere. No matter how hard I tried to cover it up the smell of death would be over me. Still I was placed in a small room with others to wait for an assigned apartment.

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DREAM: Backwards Motion

Published on March 5, 2009 in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dream Therapy, Dreams, PTSD and Therapy. 0 Comments

We were dancing. The only time we felt free to move was when we danced alone. A masked lady asked questions about DID but I had a hard time helping her understand it’s not always obvious when a person switches. She thought every survivor must have DID and that every person who acted out of character must have DID. She told me about a case study where a man who hurt people probably did so because of his disorder. I tried to explain that I knew the case and the man never even implied he had inside people. As we talked small children danced and pretended to have a good time. When the masked women went inside the sun immediately went down and the small children disappeared. I danced with a young man who lived with the masked woman. The only time he moved freely was when he danced alone.

The dream changed from the two of us outside alone on a hill with huge stars in the sky to me naked and being spat on by him and another person. I can’t remember if the other person was male or female. I was soaked from head to food in spit. I got away from them and went inside the house where the mother of the two people was to try and get some clothing and maybe a ride home. The mother was combative and angry about my disorder. Continue reading ‘DREAM: Backwards Motion’

Dream Notes: Cats, Kittens, Deformity

Published on January 25, 2009 in Abuse, Dream Therapy, Dreams, PTSD, Therapy and Therapy Assignments. 0 Comments

A recurrent theme in my dreams is cats multiplying or deformed cats. To try and better understand the presence of cats in my dreams I decided to do a bit of research. What I understand a bit better is how much I struggle with powerlessness and individuality. I often felt I didn’t have a choice or that I didn’t exist without my mother.

I know in general the cats represent me but I was uncertain if there was more to the deformation of the newborns. I found only one reference that comes close to my experiences. The Curious Dreamer gave several options for what deformed kittens/puppies may mean but this here seems most appropriate for me:

Deformity: Feeling affected in the area symbolized by the deformed body part (such as a deformed foot representing the feeling less able to make progress in your life)
Kittens/Puppies: Your inner child, playfulness, self-responsibility. The need to take more time for yourself, have more fun, and nurture yourself and your sense of play more. Dreaming of this animal can represent: Someone or something in your real life with whom you associate one of these qualities (an event, situation, threat, etc.)

When I dream about deformed newborns the mother gives birth then the newborn multiplies. She gives birth again and that baby multiplies. It splits into another, so on and so forth until there are sometimes hundreds of deformed kittens lying outside in the grass at night. They’re usually on the lawn of the house I lived in during the fourth grade. Most disturbing for me are the faceless kittens. The faceless newborns usually have no body; they’re just a faceless head lying in the grass. Continue reading ‘Dream Notes: Cats, Kittens, Deformity’

DREAM: Broken Windows and Hostages

Published on January 23, 2009 in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dream Therapy, Dreams, PTSD, Segments, Therapy and Therapy Assignments. 0 Comments

The dream started out with me in the kitchen of a house I’ve never been in before. There was a huge crash which ended up being a rock that was tossed through the living room window. Although one rock was tossed three separate windows were broken. They were broken with the same fractures as if the rock was tossed the exact same way with the exact same speed and everything else precise two more times, right beside the first window. That is of course impossible.

I went outside to see what was going on. Just then a group of people walked up to me and said they were waiting for an ambulance and while they waited could they use my restroom. I looked at everyone to measure their distress level and decided to tell the spokesperson for the group that I wouldn’t be able to do that. Humiliated, embarrassed and ashamed that I had to turn them away, I pointed the group to a restaurant across the street. Of course they were upset (pissed if you will). I tried to explain to one person that I just couldn’t do it. I have obsessive compulsive disorder and I couldn’t let them use my restroom. He shook his head in understanding then left with the small crowd. I’m not sure where they went.

My sister then re-appeared in the dream and told me there was some big to-do at the small cottage in the backyard. I went back there, knocked on the door and was promptly allowed access. Once inside I saw school age children ranging from 6 to 12 years old sitting on wooden benches that lined the first large open room. Continue reading ‘DREAM: Broken Windows and Hostages’

DREAM Commentary: Broken Windows and Hostages

Published on January 23, 2009 in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dream Therapy, Dreams, PTSD, Segments, Therapy and Therapy Assignments. 0 Comments

The full dream is written out here.

DREAM COMMENTARY:

Three small windows side by side all broken in the same spot with the very same fracture. Symbolic to say the least. I’m going to go as far as to say the windows represent me, my mother and my sister. We were all victims at one point in our life. The offenders were family, the rock. They hurt us to the core, dead smack in the middle.

I’m going to say the hostage was both my sister and myself. The first hostage who laughed at the aggressor was me. The trusting hostage who “gave ammunition” was my sister. My response to the torture of the trusting hostage was to identify with the aggressor. I didn’t blame the aggressor for torturing the hostage. I blamed the hostage for putting herself in a position that let the aggressor torture her with more ammunition. I put fault on the victim instead of the aggressor. This is exactly how I related to my sister concerning her responses to my mother. This is called “identifying with the aggressor.”

It is also possible that the hostage is but one person, me. There were times I needed my mother’s trust and understanding. There were times I felt tricked into revealing too much information which she later used to mock me. I kicked myself for being so stupid as to let my guard down. Continue reading ‘DREAM Commentary: Broken Windows and Hostages’

DREAM: Trust Love and Forgiveness Pt1-3

Published on October 3, 2008 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Segments, Therapy and Therapy Assignments. 0 Comments

This is a three part entry with two dreams and one re-write.

Dream One

A few days ago I had a dream that I was back in the 10th grade house only as an adult. My sister and I were in bed together in the mother’s room waiting for someone who loved her to come and discover her. They’d known each other, he thought he lost her but was going to come to the house to discuss this loss with me. The sister was going to surprise him when he walked in the bedroom. As we lay there I heard rustling outside. After investigating it became clear to me two men were going to break in. The man in the get away car told the other criminal not to harm us but to find out what we know then leave. I attempted to warn my sister of the danger but instead of heading it she went to the door to see what the man wanted. He pushed his way in and over took her. I ran to the back and climbed out the window of the mother’s bedroom. It was pitch black out there except for back porch lights. The field was full of lions and wolves waiting for me to let my guard down so they could pounce. Continue reading ‘DREAM: Trust Love and Forgiveness Pt1-3′