Archive for the 'Dream Therapy' Category

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Dreams: Running, Flying, Dying

Published on May 18, 2008 in Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health and PTSD. 2 Comments

Lately I’ve been dreaming about flying. I fly across the room to go get a small item or fly to the store through the air as if it were the most natural thing ever. I’ve even had a few dreams that took place at night which is unusual for me.

Last night I had a dream that I ran a marathon in Madrid, Spain then someplace in China. The runners all put their belongings in a huge pile on the floor of an empty stadium. Someone I didn’t know suggested we pilfer whatever was of value. I began looking for high top red converse but didn’t find them. As we sifted through their belongings I looked to the left of me out of the window. Outside the window was a huge, beautiful castle, something you’d see at Disney World but without that dang on mouse hanging around. It looked real but still had a Disney quality to it. I decided not to investigate but to continue through the stadium to meet friends for lunch. Once I got to the cafeteria it ended up being a huge group therapy session. I sat and chatted with a large black woman who told me she keeps her distance because I can go from 100 mph to zero in 60 seconds flat and that I’m temperamental, arrogant and not willing to listen to reason. She said she felt there was a lot of hope for me but she couldn’t be of assistance in my healing process because our personalities didn’t mix. I basically fed her back everything she said and apologized for being so unstable and unpredictable. She then handed me 3 cigarettes and escorted me out of the door. Continue reading ‘Dreams: Running, Flying, Dying’

Dream Therapy: I Need You

Published on May 13, 2008 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health, PTSD and Therapy. 0 Comments

I was standing in a Texas bar listening to the band play. They’d just finished up and my sister decided to sing a little bit. She was half hidden behind an oriental screen, you could only see long reddish-brown hair and the top of her. The band noticed that she was pretty and began making comments about it. As they walked towards her I put my head down and hid behind the rim of my hat. There were 3 band members that surrounded her and made comments about her long legs and beautiful hair. Then they decided to carry her off. My mother sat there, did nothing at all as they carried her oldest daughter off to rape her. I jumped on the back of one man and pounded and screamed, “She’s just a child, she’s a baby! She’s just a child.” In the dream she was about 17, the men were in their 40’s. One man turned and looked me in the eye and I said in a begging tone, “Please, she’s just a baby, let her go.”

I could tell that it hit home but he still wanted to go along with his boys. I followed them and kept grabbing and beating on the one I figured I could get through to. They took her to a movie theater. Two men disappeared with her. I kept fist fighting with the one I thought I could get through to. “Give her back, she’s just a child.” I realized every time I said, “She’s just a child.” I’d get a different look in his eye, like it hurt him to hear he was about to take part in the rape of a child. I figured if I said it enough maybe he’d make his boys let her go. So I kept saying it and kept saying it, pulling on him, fighting him, screaming at him, begging him, “she’s just a child.” After a bit his heart hardened and he just wanted to distract me so his boys could hurt my sister. He fell down on the theater stairs which lead to the auditorium. His head faced down, his feet faced the top of the stairs. I walked slowly up to him to see if he was dead, if he wasn’t I had a rock I intended to finish him off with. When I went to investigate his condition he jumped up, laughed and ran back up the stairs to mock me again. He fell the same way, head down, feet towards the top of the stairs. I realized I was wasting my time pleading to him so I left him on the stairs and went looking for my sister. Continue reading ‘Dream Therapy: I Need You’

Dream Therapy: Rough Terrain Part 2of2

Published on May 10, 2008 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health, PTSD, Segments and Therapy. 2 Comments

Same dream continued……

Walked back out to find the mother and two other people that would be coming home with us. By the time we hit the exit door there was only one person coming with us. We walked together through rough terrain to get to the car. There were craters to avoid, high hills to climb, all in the dark. It started off light but the walk was so long it got dark. The other person we were with decided to take a different route to the car so we split up. That just left the mother and myself to try and find the best way around our obstacles and get to the car.

On our walk we tried several different ways to get over these obstacles but ended up exerting ourselves too much. I remembered I’d come over the same rough terrain alone and that if I just sat for a bit to think how I did it I could get us both to the car without more energy loss to either of us. As we set my plan in motion the mother became very tired. We’d found a sidewalk that took us around all the craters and hills but she was becoming delirious and tired. She said she needed to stop and rest just for a moment. We walked a few steps further which was to the entrance of a shopping mall. She opened the door, felt the cool breeze and collapsed in the doorway. I woke up. Continue reading ‘Dream Therapy: Rough Terrain Part 2of2′

Humiliation: Dream Therapy 1of3

Published on May 3, 2008 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health, PTSD, Segments and Therapy. 0 Comments

If you saw him wouldn’t you publically humiliate him too? From there I went on a verbal abuse tirade. I was shocked and horrified that a van full of children and their mother ranging from 14 to 7 were yelling at my 3 year old brother for wetting himself in public.

The dream started out gross and ended bloody and down right disturbing but still telling. I felt so sick when I woke. It started off with my brother having a bowel movement on a brick wall at a store. He stood against the wall and you could see this mustard yellow BM go on the wall. The mother and I were in lawn chairs outside the store looking out at the parking lot. I asked my mother why she was allowing him to use the restroom on the wall. I don’t remember her answer but she let him continue. In several places the toddler marked the wall with BM. I told him to stop and that I’d take him to the restroom. He got angry and ran into the street. I ran after him to keep him from getting hit. Just before I reached him a van stopped because they saw feces on him. The mother, who was also the driver, got out of the metallic coral coloured mini-van, picked my brother up and began calling him names. Two young teenage boys (maybe 13 years of age) jumped from the side door and grabbed my brother holding him high in the air mocking him. The sun was out, it was a very hot day. The parking lot was packed with cars, traffic was heavy. The boys held him up mocking him because he had diarrhea on his shirt. I took him out of their arms and scolded the boys for their actions. None of the children in the car understood why I was so angry with them and their mother. They continued laughing at my brother. The mother said had I seen my brother use the restroom on himself wouldn’t I do the same thing? She wondered if I’d seen him use the restroom on himself and if I had witnessed it she thought I too would parade him through the streets humiliating him.

The mother and her children were well dressed. The hair of the children was dark, they looked Jewish which is of strong significance for me. They looked like a middle class family the kind society assumes has it together and would never behave in such a cruel way. Continue reading ‘Humiliation: Dream Therapy 1of3′

Humiliation: Dream Therapy 2of3

Published on May 3, 2008 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health, PTSD, Segments and Therapy. 0 Comments

(Same dream continued)

I needed to go clean my brother up so I started walking to a professional building across the street from the department store. The mother didn’t want me to do it. She was irritated that I was going to take him off and clean him up. As I walked across the street my sister appeared beside me. The walk should have been short. Instead of just going across the street we ended up walking down a winding country road which lead to the professional building. Once inside I began washing my brother in the only water source they had which was the water fountain. The water was cold. He objected but I kept washing him. At that point my mother called my cell phone to see how things were going. We got into an argument about something. I don’t remember what. I ended up hanging up on her. My phone turned into a Caress soap box, coral pink box saturated by cold fountain water. I left it on the table and went to the restroom. I left my brother with my sister.

I entered a room where the restroom was at the back corner. The room was familiar to me. It was a fixer upper. You could see plaster and dry wall that hadn’t yet been hung. Some of the antique white paint hadn’t dried yet. Paint cans and brushes lay helter-skelter around the construction area. Continue reading ‘Humiliation: Dream Therapy 2of3′

Humiliation: Dream Therapy Re-Write 3of3

Published on May 3, 2008 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health, PTSD, Segments and Therapy. 0 Comments

The idea behind dream therapy is to re-write a dream so that it ends the way you want it to. This is to give the dreamer a feeling of control. In some dreams I needed to re-write it so that I was the victor and not the victim but in this case I need to re-write the dream so that events unfold in a way I can accept without emotional burden.

The dream would start off exactly how it did, with my brother using the restroom on the wall of the department store by the parking lot. I’d reach over to him and ask if he wanted to go inside the store to use the restroom. He pulls away from me and runs into the street. A family in their van jump out, snatch my brother up and begin scolding and mocking him for having BM on his shirt. I remove my brother from their arms and call out for the police. There’s no way they can put their hands on this child and hold him up for the world to scorn and not answer for it. No words I can say will do, I need to call the police. The police show up and I make a formal report that this so-called mother put their hands on my brother. She’s furious that I’ve called the police but not apologetic. She doesn’t understand why I’m making such a big deal out of this. I tell her it’s because no one should be treated the way she just treated my brother and that she has no right at all to ever put her hands on him. Continue reading ‘Humiliation: Dream Therapy Re-Write 3of3′

Dream Therapy: Why Are You Smiling? 1of2

Published on March 26, 2008 in Abuse, Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health, PTSD and Segments. 0 Comments

I sat in my grandmother’s dinning room adjacent to the kitchen, the lights were rather low. The kitchen was mess because a family gathering had just ended. Several family members stepped out for a bit leaving me and one other person in the house. We chatted for a bit about how I planned to leave my chocolate milkshake for someone named Sheila. As the other person, whose face I never really saw, talked about Sheila the patio door in the dinning room burst open. A young white male ran in disheveled, panicked. Then the front door burst open and Sheila ran in looking for the young man. They seemed to be playing tag but the young man was certainly not enjoying himself. He ran into the living room and sat in the chair by a picture window with heavy dark green curtains that successfully blocked the view in and out. Sheila ran up to him and punched him in the face a few times. She was laughing. The other family member and I watched in horror but didn’t stop her. I told the family member I wasn’t about to give a chocolate milk shake to an abuser so I dumped it in the sink. As I came back I heard the young man tell Sheila he knew it was his fault because he was smiling. While trying to convince her to stop and that he wasn’t mad he accidentally smiled again. Sheila responded by punching him in the face several more times saying, “You gonna smile again? You want to smile again?”

Commentary:

The young man symbolized my cousin, the woman hitting him my aunt. My cousin use to get in trouble for smiling. They’d ask him what he was up to. He use to sit on the stairs at the grandmother’s house listening to everyone talk. If he smiled he got in trouble. The beatings he took on those stairs always went without much uproar about it. The aunt tore into him from an early age up until the time she left him and his sister in the house and moved to Florida with her new husband. The house was paid for yes but they were only teenagers, not ready for the responsibility of keeping a house, paying the taxes on it, ect. In the dream the cousin was about 17 years old and looked nothing at all like he actually does. The aunt didn’t look anything at all like herself either. It was very typical for the only repercussions of beating your child to be something simple like “you can’t have desert.” Hurting your child was normal, not something they cast you out of good standing for. I suppose that’s why the only real denunciation for her actions was to deny her a chocolate shake.

Dream Therapy: What Are You Smiling About? 1 of 2
Wednesday, March 26, 2008-4:10PM EST
Dream Therapy: What Are You Smiling About? 2 of 2