Sundrip Journals
I have spotty flashes from last nights dream but I wanted to write them down anyway.
The mother wanted to put up a blue tent as an extension to her private restroom. The tent would extend into the hallway and block most of the path to her bedroom. I tried to talk her out of the tent because a tent in the house is red neck country. Next thing ya know we’d have a hub cap wind chime next to our Chevy on cinder blocks.
The dream started off with a mandatory meeting that included everyone employed by the mistress and her porn agency. Employees were gathered to be fired and told they’d fallen prey to the poor economy. What made this meeting different is that the owner wanted to make certain everyone knew just how incompetent they were. Her goal was to break their will and have them leave with less than they came to her with. If the employees agreed to this humiliation they could be eligible for re-hire, if not they could leave and take their chances.
A quadriplegic porn star decided he wasn’t going to be humiliated by the person he made lots of money for. As a matter of fact he was going to take the parrot (an actual parrot who had stared in several small films with him) then go home in his flying wheelchair. The bird was secured in a wooden but round cage and the young man flew about 30 feet above the heads of his former employees then right out the door. The employees were furious that he’d take the bird so they jumped at the chair, but to no avail. The young man was gone and all they could do was yell obscenities and promise revenge.
I had this dream two nights ago.
Everyday I walked over a bridge and watched a young man throw himself over to the water below. He’d then pull himself out of the water, put his shirt back on and go home. One day I walked by as he pulled himself up and asked, “How do you think it makes me feel to watch someone I care about nearly kill himself every single day?” He didn’t answer that but instead suggested I jump too. Everyday I walked over the bridge and everyday he jumped off missing the rocks by a hairs breadth.
Last night I had this dream:
During a family outing the mother stopped at an apartment complex to see about a garage sale inside one of the apartments. When we got there the family wasn’t home but she, my sister and I went on in and had a look around. The first thing my mother found was an antique gumball machine just like the one she bought me when I was a child. The gumballs in it were solid black just like the ones I always hated getting. Price, 35 cents. She put it in a shopping cart then focused on my sister who pulled out a nice wooden spice rack priced at $2.35. I noticed they were finding all the stuff I would have gotten and was quite jealous and worried I wouldn’t find anything of value for myself so I started to venture out on my own for garage sale treasures. Just as I walked away the sister pointed to a beautiful solid wood, hand carved bedroom dresser, headboard and foot board. I never went over to check it out but noticed it was boxy, attention detailed and very much something I would have wanted to take home for myself.
This morning I was greeted by Mary Jane and her soft purr. She, my little cuddly vampire aka Calico Rose, gave me a very welcome love attack which was great to start to the morning. As I lay there petting her I thought to myself, how did I end up with you? Why do I get to have you? How did I get so lucky? Mary Jane is a great kitty. She’s calm, mostly very quiet and loves to be loved on and held but likes her alone time too. Did I mention she’s calm? Boy is that a great for me. LOL I told her I was happy she’s here and that she should stay forever and ever.
After I got home from therapy I grabbed a bite to eat then needed a nap. I slept longer than intended then woke from this dream:
Dream One, April 11, 2010 @ 11am
I had to use the restroom at school so I walked down the hall to the girl’s restroom. Inside I saw a lady holding her baby’s face under the faucet. She was running cold water on the babies face. When I asked her what on earth she was doing she said the baby was okay and that he liked it. The baby fit into the sink and was small enough that it could lay on it’s back without twisting. She then flipped the baby over and let the water run on the back of his head. He spat and sputtered until his mother turned him over on his back for more water in the face. As she did the sink grew as large as a whirlpool big enough to fit four people. I climbed into the whirlpool as did the mother and a toddler who suddenly appeared.
I had a dream about my therapist, two actually. The first dream I remember very little about. I just remember he killed people that hurt me, mainly my mother. The second dream he was the owner of a small neighborhood grocery store. It was late at night, close to closing time but my mother and I were still shopping. He was ready to go home so he gathered his wife and 8 year old son and got into a large white truck with a camper on top. He told my mother to lock up after she and I were done but instead the mother took a few more customers. I woke after that.
Commentary: The very first dream could be taken in a few ways. He killed my mother could seem rather threatening but in my eyes it could also be that he is helping to tame her ability to still ravage my mind. In the dream I never saw him kill her, I just knew he’d done it. The lack of seeing her killed, no violence, no blood seems to me more symbolic than a revenge type killing. I don’t know, I didn’t seem threatened by the dream at all. The second dream he had a totally different role. He left me with her. This dream I have a problem with because I remember when he walked out the door I felt let down, unprotected. He knows what she’s capable of and what she did to me yet he left me with her anyway. I ‘m also taken by the fact that he got into a truck with a camper on it. The camper was much like the one I slept in as a child when my mother removed me from my English teachers house.
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