Archive for the 'Therapy' Category

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On Being Normal

Published on February 26, 2012 in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotions, PTSD, Relationships, Secrets and Confessions, Therapy and Trust. 3 Comments

This entry is all over the place. .. whatever though…….. I’m sort of thinking as I type so its all over the place.

That girl I saw this evening, someone Joan knew, has strange interests. She doesn’t fit into the category of normal. We’re in the same slot I think. The funny thing is, she throws herself into these projects that others find meaningless…and irritating but I have to ask, what’s the harm? For awhile she’ll collect one item then up and decide she’s done with that collection and wants to sell it off for a new collection of some “off beat” interest. She also tries these “off the wall” business ventures that don’t go anywhere … but… it makes her happy. She doesn’t fit into the regular box…and that’s kind of cool.

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Tad Bit on Edge

Published on February 23, 2012 in Anger, Anxiety, Art Therapy, Emotions, PTSD and Therapy. 0 Comments

…. and moody…. and evil !!!

For the last hour I’ve been hearing something I couldn’t identify. I wanted to scream, “Stop it! Just stop it!” It’s not even that loud its just that I didn’t know what it was and it was interrupting my idea of safety and security. My head started playing tricks on me. Am I really hearing this, is someone screwing around with me? It took awhile before I realized the sound was coming from downstairs. The guy downstairs keeps his heat set to Armageddon which in a way is good but in another it drives me batty because sometimes his heating system starts to thump. I suppose you can’t keep it that high all the time without some maintenance issues. His excess heat keeps my bill about $20 cheaper than many in my building. Thanks excessive heat guy.

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Contributing Factors – Integration

Published on February 21, 2012 in Anxiety, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotions, Grief Sadness Loss, Letters Home, Morton's Pride, PTSD and Therapy. 0 Comments

There are a few major things that came up when I started asking questions about possible stressors that could have added to the intensity of this flare up.

The first thing I thought about was anxiety and depression as part of the emotional process of moving.

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Conversation: The Therapist and I

Published on February 14, 2012 in Humor and Therapy. 8 Comments Tags: .

Dr. D and I discussed my choice of pets. Since Joan is integrated it appears we aren’t as dog crazy as before. As a matter of fact we’ve come to a point where we aren’t even sure if we want one.

Dr. D said he’s noticed that we lean towards animals that we can’t get close to. He said that we can’t get close to fish, frogs or snails. He cringed on the snail thing. LOL I corrected him about bonding with fish. I acknowledged that the animals we keep as our own are slow moving, graceful, quiet and predictable. That is our PTSD issues coming in to play.

We talked about how some of the pets are unconventional.

Me: Fish are a common pet and having a pond in the living room isn’t odd.

Dr. D: It’s not conventional. Most have a dog or a cat.

Me: Fish are common. Heck, my grandparents had a waterfall in their house.

Dr. D: Yeah, but your grandparents were crazy.

I probably should have used a better reference than my grandparents.

For My Brother – All That You Have

Published on February 14, 2012 in Grief Sadness Loss, Letters Home and Love. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

For you on your day.

All That You Have Is Your Soul  by  Tracy Chapman

Oh my mama told me
‘Cause she say she learned the hard way
Say she wanna spare the children
She say don’t give or sell your soul away
‘Cause all that you have is your soul

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In the Hospital for SLE and Fibromyalgia

Published on February 10, 2012 in Art Therapy, Medical and PTSD. 1 Comment

On Friday I went to an art opening with a friend and it was fantastic. I didn’t want to go at all and started to cancel because my pain level was at a 9 and rising. Despite that I went and I’m happy I did. What happened later was that I ended up in the ER because the pain level hit a 10 and I simply could not take it. I said weeks ago that I’d considered going to the ER but didn’t, this time I did. When I got there they looked at my records and asked a few simple questions. They asked how I usually manged my pain. I answered honestly then told them that my usual method wasn’t managing this flare up. He asked when the last time it was I came in for a “cocktail” and I told him it had been awhile. According to my records it was 2 years ago.

No social workers showed up and no questions about my mental health were posed. They asked one major question: What can we do to help you? I asked for a one time cocktail that would relieve the pain enough that I could manage it again. With that I was given a shot of Morphine, Demerol an injection of Prednisone. They then had me swallow two pills for nausea and gave me two percocets. This cocktail could knock out a horse but I was wide awake the whole time.

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Inspired Love List

Published on February 2, 2012 in Emotions, For the Record, Letters Home, PTSD and Trust. 3 Comments Tags: , , .

I ran into a journal entry called Love List on the blog MotherLovely. For those of us with serious mother issues read the title again. It does NOT say motherly love, it says mother lovely. Anywhooo, the entry talks about looking around your house and noting things you love about your home. I like her idea for a number of reasons but for my purposes I’d like to change the angle a little bit and direct it to PTSD. She listed things in her home that she loves but I’d like to list things in my home that make me feel safe, secure, comforted and grounded.

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