Self respect is hidden in the phrase “Why me.” I hope you can see it.
I hope you one day find the strength to say it.
For a few days there was a graphic displayed on my sidebar that said, “Pity Me.” Are you wondering what that was about? The graphic you see here links to Enola’s site where a blog pity party will take place. To participate in this party only one thing is required, talk openly about how you feel without adding coping skills or reasoning. You do not have to be a survivor to join the pity party. All you have to do is be willing to give yourself permission to openly talk about whatever without resorting to the “pull up your boot straps” mentality. You don’t have to explain why you feel a certain way to justify your actions, just let it hang out. You don’t have to show strength, write a perfect entry or anything like that. Just write, write about your issues, about what might be going wrong right now, about whatever.
With that said let me say that I feel two ways about self pity. I think self pity can be both validating as well as slow down the one who wears pity as shoes. If every step you take is dedicated to letting people know how you’ve been done wrong then self pity can slow down progress and growth. On the other hand, if a person can say to themselves, “I was done wrong. That shouldn’t have happened” then it shows a measure of self respect. If a person can say, “Why me?” it shows they understand they aren’t wicked at heart, worthless and always destined for bad things.
The first time the phrase “why me” came out of my mouth was maybe 6 or 7 years ago. For the record I’m 36 years old. In my opinion I spent quite a bit of my life not questioning why certain things happened. I was quite certain they happened because of something I did, some inherent badness. I feel that the phrase “why me” validates a persons good heart that doesn’t deserve to be treated unfairly, unjustly, criminally.
In response to “why me” I’ve heard it said to ask “why not me?” I think in few situations this response is accurate but for survivors there is no relevance. In everyday life separate from abuses that question might have some validity but in my opinion the cases are few and far between. I hate that response. I think it devalues us as human beings. I think it tells people they shouldn’t feel like they are above injustices. “Why not me” might make a person sound like they think they’re better than injustice. Well, guess what? I am better than that and so are most other people. That’s just my opinion.
So, now that you know how I feel about self pity you’ll understand what I say on the 27th to be a tribute to my personal healing process. You are cordially invited on September 27th in the name of self pity, to blog and blog openly. Put your link on Enola’s blog letting everyone know you plan to participate.
Self respect is hidden in the phrase “Why me.” I hope you can see it.
I hope you one day find the strength to say it.
An Open Invitation To Complain Freely
Sunday, September 23, 2007-4:45PM EST
COMMENT POLICY
There are no implied rights to posting a comment. Free speech means you can say what you feel you need to say without the GOVERNMENT coming down on you, not me. If you decide to be an insensitive idiot your comment will be deleted and you will be dismissed and ignored. There is no Comment Constitution out there saying Blog Owners must uphold the First Comment Amendment and they can’t delete or moderate words. I delete stuff off my blog all the time because there are a plethora of idiots out there and they seem to flock to my blog making moderation necessary.
Idiots are everywhere. We must protect ourselves from them. See the Welcome Page for more details.
Click here for the GENERAL COMMENT and GUESTBOOK hub.