Tag Archive for 'friends'

Page 2 of 4

My Kryptonite

Published on April 12, 2009 in Gratitude Journal and Humor. 6 Comments Tags: , .

Dear Friends,

Around 10:30 last night I got a phone call saying a friend of mine was on her way over. I immediately thought, hmm, that’s strange that someone would come over on a day when the house is clean. Came she did and with her she brought a bag of Peppermint Patties. In a frenzy I opened the bag and scarfed. I’m not sure what she blabbed on about because I was too busy stuffing my face. After the 3rd patty I thought to myself, “This is a trick! Nobody brings peppermint in the middle of the night. What does she want?” I wondered through my sugar high, is she here to rob me? This is a set up!

Bringing me peppermint is like bringing Superman kryptonite. Hey look Superman I brought you a gift. He opens it up and the robbers take all his stuff. One could naively conclude she was just being friendly but I’m not that person. Over the top of a patty I kept a suspicious eye on her.

Continue reading ‘My Kryptonite’

Accessory To Murder – A Tale of Two Friends

Published on December 20, 2008 in Humor. 3 Comments Tags: , .

Last night when I couldn’t sleep I entertained myself by fantasizing about the death of one very cruel woman who insists upon hurting my friend. Here’s how it all went down.

(posted with permission from my accessory)

T’was midnight in my breezy city and all were tucked in sleeping save me and the two voices next door arguing. Earlier in the year I set up a small observation center in the corner of the room which allows me to eavesdrop on said neighbor with ease. I ran to the Ops Area and heard an old withered up voice yelling to my young princess neighbor. “How dare she” I thought as I pressed my eye closer to the scope. Knowing my services were needed I grabbed my red duffel bag and rifle and headed over to her apartment.

I didn’t even bother to knock on the door, for I’d made a key when the neighbor was out of town last week. Bursting through the door I yelled to the Old Witch, “What’s wrong with you witch?” The enchanted Princess inquired, “How did you get another key? I thought I told you to stop breaking in to my apartment?”

“Never mind the key”, I says, “Who is this Old Witch with the foul breath who dost blow stink about your palace?”

“It’s my mother, and why are you talking like that? Get out of here. This is none of your business!” Just then the Enchanted Princess jumped on poor pitiful Aussie and stole her riffle with the silencer. Do not fret dear readers for this was all part of the plan.

Continue reading ‘Accessory To Murder – A Tale of Two Friends’

Campfire Days

Published on October 9, 2008 in For the Record. 5 Comments Tags: .

I was invited to go camping this weekend. It’s been so long. I can’t wait. Boy this came on time. I needed some nature and a change of scenery. For those who know my OCD issues I’m sure you’re probably going, “How will Aussie deal with no upscale restroom facilities?” Well, my restroom issues are centered on my own restroom not the restroom of others. So, there’s no real issue when I go out in public or anything like that. The issue is my own restroom and letting others use it. I don’t foresee any OCD panic attacks where I prematurely call Hasmat or scream “You ‘re triflin. You people were raised by apes, apes I say apes.” I don’t expect that at all.

So, we’ll leave Friday morning and come back late Sunday evening. There’ll be fishing and stuff like that too. I haven’t been fishing in a good 10 years or longer. They’ll have to put the worm on the hook cause I’m not touching that nasty thing.  I’ll be fine with cleaning the fish but they’ll have to deal with the worms. Yuck! I haven’t roasted marshmallows in years nor have I had a roasted hot dog since I was a little kid. I can’t wait. Oh I so can’t wait. I do have to wonder how on earth I’m going to do my hair out there in the wild.

J of A

Campfire Days-Thursday, October 09, 2008-1:17PM EST

Sprout and Grow Again

Published on October 8, 2008 in Gratitude Journal. 0 Comments Tags: .

If you have not yet had a chance to read the entry by Beautiful Dreamer titled “A Tree Grows” please find the time to do so. You will not be disappointed. It is inspiring and beautifully written. If you need a pick me up today this is the entry that will give you a boost and a bit more fire to keep going.

Austin

Behind Muscle You’ll Find A Heart

Published on September 14, 2008 in For the Record. 2 Comments Tags: .

What a nice day I had today. I finished up a second doll then there was a knock on my door. Fife Jr. was ready to fix my car. He put his buff sweaty body under my car and fixed her up real nice. I got to know so much about this household with is body half under my car and half out. Not unlike myself he felt unloved and unforgiven for even the smallest of transgressions. While there was no outright abuse he did feel unloved which left him rather bruised. Suddenly I forgot how adorable he is and just listened. Ya know, at first I was thinking, dang I should go get the camera and take shots of this guy but what he talked about kind of took my mind from muscles and sweat to heartache and someone just like me, chasing love like a pup chases his tail. Continue reading ‘Behind Muscle You’ll Find A Heart’

Girl In The Box

Published on August 30, 2008 in Humor and Relationships. 2 Comments Tags: , .

Katm- Take the damn meds. Don’t make me fly over there and kick your ass :-)
Did your box ever come?

Dear Kathryn,

The South Korean government has contacted me concerning the contents of your box. Please know that I was kidding when I requested a super fly Korean girl between the ages of 30 and 40 show up on my doorstep. I never expected anyone to shove a woman in a box and mail her to me. While I appreciate the hook up, I don’t appreciate being interrogated by people with “advanced” torture techniques. Therefore I must say, I do not know you nor do I know what box you’re talking about.

I guess there’s no permanent emotional damage to her but she is in need of a chiropractor. Perhaps you should have flown her here. How on earth did you get her in that tiny little box? Let me just say writing the word FRAGILE on the box wasn’t enough to ensure her comfort.

Once this debacle has been sorted out I’ll speak more openly. For now it’s “Kathryn who?”

Sincerely,

The Interrogated

Nope, no box yet. It may be in customs or something.

I do believe my life is a soap opera, a very, very bad soap opera. I layed in bed last night looking at the fake glowing stars on my ceiling then burst out laughing.  Only me I thought, me and some  Hollywood story line. Only Hollywood can make this shit up. Yesterday when I ventured out past my front door to see “the gentleman” aka Chi, I did so only to discover the heifer I went out with a few times works for Chi. She started there a few days ago. Chi is her supervisor. “Lady” is the girl from a disastrous date from awhile ago. She’s also the girl that looks so much like me that there was no way on earth it could have worked out. Had she not been in serious need of psychiatric help the fact that she looks way too much like me would have made us impossible.  It was like going on a date with myself. Not pleasant, not pleasant at all. Do you know how difficult that can make things, dating someone that looks so much like you its scarey? Lady was someone I went out with a few times the second time Blossom and I broke up. I stand by the fact that it has only been three times that Blossom and I broke up.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a garden waiting for me.

I Get To Keep It

Published on August 24, 2008 in Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder and Mental Health. 1 Comment Tags: .

We use to go to the skating rink as a young adult with friends. We’d hang out, laugh together, sing with the radio and have a really good time. When it was time to go home you could almost bet I’d have some sort of physical emergency that required that I go to the emergency room. It took years for me to figure out that whenever I had a really good time I ended up so distraught that a hospital visit seemed necessary. The connection was made but it took even longer to change the behavior and to accept that fun and good are safe things and do not have to result in panic or a physical symptom.

After my guests left this evening I didn’t think to myself, I had too much fun I think my body is doing so poorly that I should visit the ER. I may not be wording this very well. I guess what I’m saying is that I had a good time and I get to keep it. I don’t feel the need to end this good feeling by tainting it. I hope that made sense. I actually get to keep this where as before I would panic, not trust the good feeling, have a physical symptom as a result of the fear and end up in the hospital. Not this time though and not for years has this happened. I got to have fun and I don’t feel bad about it.

Milwaukee

I Get To Keep It-Sunday, August 24, 2008-2:32AM EST