Tag Archive for 'letters'

There are many things in life we should do in moderation, hair gel is one of them.

Dear Pedestrian:

What a hard worker you are, dedicated to your appearance, paying close attention to details. I applaud your resilience, for it must have taken hours with your hands above your head to come up with the stone-like sculpture atop your head. Although I appreciate the work of art I do not appreciate the fire hazard you caused. Had I lit my cigarette and your hair caught fire the city would have blown. You should have thought about your fellow man before plastering your hair with flammable materials. How selfish of you to put style before safety.

Had a tsunami hit, your hair would still be sound as cement. The buildings would have toppled, the ground split open, the seas given up its fish onto the land but your hair would have remained as it was this morning. I am sure the thought would bring a smile of pride to your face. Oh, I understand the need for manageable hair, I really do but that amount of gel is unnecessary. The next time you wish to use that much gel think of Michael Jackson. MJ’s experience was more like a grease fire but you, no you used highly combustible gels with fumes sure to ignite simply because I lit Camel Menthol Full Flavor Kings. Do you realize not even “stop, drop and roll” would have helped you? Please, oh I say please, always think of safety before beauty.

Sincerely,

Citizen Insane

Hair Gel In Moderation – Monday, August 11, 2008-6:33PM EST

Don’t ever leave me again, don’t you know I have abandonment issues? You can’t just space out and go on the fritz when you feel like it. What do you think this is? Did you think I’d just wait on you to get your cyberspace act together? I sat, twittled my thumbs, sighed, huffed and did a bit of moaning. After all of that you decided to just come right back up like nothing was ever wrong. You act like you never left at all. Well listen here, I’ll tell you something Mr. Blog! Damn you for going down! Damn you! I needed you and you were not there for me. I depended upon you and you went away. In my time of need, when I needed to hear the clickity clack of puffy fingers on a keyboard where were you? Huh? You were off with your bloggidy head in the cyber clouds. Now you’re back and I’m just to accept you with open arms? Damn you for knowing I would.

Joan of Arc, relieved to be back blogging.

John
carrothiccups dot com

I’ve been getting carrot hiccups for years. Well my wife, Carol, decided to look it up and found your site. I agree that there should be a site to support this odd affliction, and since I’m into blogging and have the carrot hiccups I’ll pick up the gauntlet and start the blog. I just ordered the domain and am waiting for it to resolve. carrothiccups dot com will be up soon. Give it a few days. Of course “The People Behind My Eyes” blog will have an honored spot in the links portion of the new Carrot Hiccups site. So please drop buy and share.
JP
From Hiccups and Carrots Support Group, 2008/04/24 at 7:20 PM

Dear Johnny P,

I feel I deserve a bit more as I’ve been supporting your hiccup group for quite some time. I believe some sort of certificate, some sort of award (preferably monetary) would be more appropriate than a link. Who was there for all you carrots and hiccups people when no one else was? Me. That’s right, me! Who stayed up with you in the middle of the night talking you through the hard hiccup times? Me. And who gave you a place to congregate, to come together for support, understanding, validation? Me. That’s right, Me. And you want to offer a mere link? My gracious, how ungrateful. All the years I’ve poured into Hiccups and Carrots Anonymous and you want to give me a link! All the blood, sweat and tears reduced to a link. That’s what I get for trying to help. I’m nearly swept to the corner instead of hailed like the queen I am. So much for my carrots and hiccups kingdom. There’s been a revolution, my reign is over. Damn you JP. Damn you! Rebel! (Austin stomps off in a huff)

Really though, thanks for dropping by. You gave me a laugh. All you carrots and hiccups people are still welcome at The People Behind My Eyes cause I’m sure you’ve got more problems than hiccups, most people do. Read here about abuse recovery and mental health awareness. See art, read poetry and everyday life entries. Welcome all, the recovered and still recovering from hiccups or whatever. Sit back and get ready. I intend to make you think. Welcome to Sundrip Journals.

Austin