At the bottom of my entry I mentioned that I have a few symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I realized a few years ago that it was kind of creeping up on me. The symptoms are very much like that of depression but usually show up stronger during the winter season. It’s your typical list of symptoms:
* Depression * Hopelessness * Anxiety * Loss of energy * Social withdrawal * Oversleeping * Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed * Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates * Weight gain * Difficulty concentrating and processing information.
The depression, which can feel like that of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder depression is the type that drags you down so low you just can’t stand it. I literally walked around the house asking myself why I was so sad. It’s a deep, deep sadness that you don’t believe will lift. You spend a lot of time trying to figure out what’s wrong but there’s nothing specific to point to saying, this is why I feel so hopeless right now, this is why I wish to die. I kept trying to figure this out, am I harmonal? Am I, like my other family members, going through the change early? They all started around 35. I’m 38 years old. Could it be that I’m going through the change and that’s why I feel so out of control with emotions? I’m not certain but the one thing I do know is a month ago this out of control feeling started which is also when it started getting colder. Now, several years ago during the colder months I put in full spectrum bulbs as light therapy and it helped my depression.
Continue reading ‘Winter, S.A.D. and Global Warming’
For a long time I’ve said I don’t have an issue with being a girl with meat on her bones … that is until someone wants me to take my clothes off. That’s when I think to myself, oh man this isn’t good. They’re going to be grossed out. I have cellulite. My breasts don’t stand up like they use to. I’m almost 40 years old. This can’t be pretty. The friend I was talking to about it said:
“Well why not?”
“Because I know what gravity has done to me. It’s cruel. I know what I look like under my clothes and it ain’t pretty, it ain’t sexy.”
“By who standards? Televisions?”
Continue reading ‘I’m Bringing Sexy Back’
I hate to brag (that’s not true) but today I had fried green tomatoes along side my pork chop dinner. Uh huh, that’s right, fried green tomatoes. I had to resist the urge to watch the movie Fried Green Tomatoes while eating them. I did watch one of my favorite movies though, The Village. It’s kinda corny but I like it.
I know y’all all just have to know how I feel about the old shows and the new CBS line up so let me give you a run down. We’ll start with the old shows first.
I’m still a huge fan of Numbers, CSI and Without A Trace. CSI is the best show on television but I hope they don’t spend an entire season mourning Warrick. The thing about Warrick is he sadly couldn’t keep himself sober so he lost his job. They had to kill him off the show which is how we got the new girl Riley. I have no opinion of her yet. I love the science of CSI as well as the characters so even if I don’t like her I’ll still watch the show.
Cold Case – It’s good to see the producers gave their lead female some colour. For a bit there it looked like she’d never seen the sun thus her serious vitamin D deficiency. I usually enjoyed the show but I had a difficult time with how dark it was and how dead they made the characters look. It’s good to see they paid their light bill and gave their actress some milk. Continue reading ‘TV With Aussie’
I’ve run across these images and the slideshows of these children so much. I’ve been quiet about this long enough. When I look at these children I see deep, deep sadness. When I look at the poses the photographer puts the little girl in I see a child posed in a sexualized way. You see the little boy with scars on his face, hopefully mock injuries but offensive non-the less. He too is in objectionable poses. These images are not beautiful, they’re disturbing. My God the little girl has what looks like blood photoshopped in on her chest and face. Who does this to their own child?
There is a difference between a photograph of a beautiful child and a seductively posed child. These are seductive not innocent and childlike as she claims. It angers me beyond belief to see these images and it’s about damn time I said it.
Austin
I’ve been all over Redbubble, Flickr and Etsy today. I’ve seen some amazing stuff but I’ve also seen artists tear their art to shreds just like I do. Sometimes I look at my art and think, this is junk! Who on earth will want this? Despite selling work I worry the buyer will find every single solitary flaw ( real or imagined) that I make.
After reading entries and comments by artists for the last few hours and knowing how I feel about my own art I’m left with one thought -
Who needs enemies when I have myself?
Joan of Arc
One of the things I don’t like about Survivor is that the show is too close to real life. You’ve got several players in the jungle who depend on one another for survival but they also need to eliminate each other one by one to get to the prize. Take today’s episode for instance. The players were asked to do a school yard team pick and it played out exactly how it does in a school yard. The fat kid got picked last. I felt badly for her. It was down to the thin Courtney and a fat girl, Denise. My thought was this, the fat girl aka the Lunch Lady was stronger. She could have moved that boat. She has weight but she has strength. She was the better choice but school yard mentality transferred over into the real life play ground causing embarrassment and loss for the small minded individuals that left her behind.
Although I am not a fan of Jean-Robert I didn’t appreciate that they played him a fool. No matter if he’s a gigantic ass or not, he still doesn’t deserve to be laughed at and mocked. They did the same to Jamie last week. It seems the closer James gets to a million dollars the less I like him. He enjoyed both of them looking like fools. Perhaps it is from past experience that I frown at public humiliation but even when playing a game for a million dollars (which by the way doesn’t go very far these days in America) you can’t just mock and laugh without offending reasonable minded people.
The Light Footed One Todd will go home for the same reason Jean-Robert went home tonight, he’s a conniving little bully. He sways when the pressure is on and isn’t thinking straight. We’ll see you on the chopping block very soon. Jean-Robert I have a feeling you found yourself in the principals office quite a bit as a child. You’re a bully, a coward who threatens other players with retaliation if they don’t do as you say. You remind me of a football player facing life in prison right now. Your actions, the way you carry yourself with a cocky know it all “do this my way or else” attitude is nothing short of disgusting. Stick to cards, stick to games where you don’t have to open your mouth and prove to the world what an ass you are.
Tonight’s personal immunity challenge was also a true reflection of this game we call life. They sat on barrels with water slowing running out. You had to keep your balance or fall into a shallow pit of loss. The person with the best focus won that one. What bothered me was Frosti’s tactic to throw off other remaining members. To throw off the focus of those members he started singing. His little plan backfired. He got one person to lose focus but Courtney was able to hold on longer winning herself another week on Survivor China. What was so disgusting about what Frosti did is that he wasn’t even close to being on the chopping block. His winning personal immunity meant nothing. This week is the first week I saw a part of Frosti I don’t like. This is also the first week where I’ve strongly considered not continuing to watch the show. I don’t like the idea behind Survivor. I don’t like that they are pitted against one another. That they’re told they have to trust each other but then they go and toss in doubt and suspicion. The writers of the show are the real game players. Lets see just how far we can push these people and make the ugliness come out. They write well. They write well enough to make die hard Survivor fans click the remote in utter disgust.
Survivor may not be on Wall Street but it sure as heck is cut throat.
Winner takes all but having it all never really takes you that far.
Austin
Survivor China Is Reality
Thursday, November 08, 2007-8:40PM EST
Why on earth anyone would choose to eat a chicken fetus is beyond me or why anyone would eat a thousand year old egg is even further beyond me but I suppose someone out there eats it. Maybe the producers of Survivor China made those two dishes up. Maybe they found villagers who heard stories of hard times, villagers that were half brain ravaged by untreated syphilis and they gave the producers recipes for these “delicacies.” Either way, it was nasty as all get out. This nastiness and a strong reaction by a teammate caused the strongest man in Survivor China to bypass a chance to save himself and put into action Todd’s diabolical plan. James may have traded chivalry for a million dollars. He knew by finishing that “delicacy” it might mean they would win immunity and throw off Todd’s plan but he wouldn’t’ force the lunch lady to finish her chicken fetus dish. It was a beautiful moment in human kindness. I’m impressed James, even more impressed by your chivalry than the back view of your public shower. How on earth can such beauty be legal? Only in the forests of China and the streets of L.A. do such crimes go unpunished. Your beauty is a crime and you should be punished James, oh so very punished.
Speaking of beauty, Sherea I’m sorry you got kicked off but it was inevitable. Eighteen days in China is something I’ll never experience. You can tell your grandchildren about how the light-footed one Todd conspired to have you kicked off the show. They kept self proclaimed bad boy John-Robert instead of you. It wasn’t personal but I know it hurts. Todd, light footed one, your day is coming. I hope it is James, The Beautiful One, that stomps all over your little scheming self and sends you back to the airlines to serve over priced coach meals. Dear little airline steward, your days are numbered, not because your game is tired but because you’re devious, conniving and know nothing about loyalty. Take a look at The Beautiful One, now that is a gentleman, a true gentleman. And Sherea, I figure you didn’t call me because of the lines being down and everything. Maybe you couldn’t get 5 bars where you were but you’ll be back in the states soon. Call me girl. No excuses this time. We’ve got the network here, call me.
P.G. What on earth is your problem? My goodness you have serious issues. You wished your grandfather could see you in his homeland but would he be proud of the way you’re playing or would he understand that his granddaughter is driven by greed and shaded ideas of value and worth? It might be good that he doesn’t know in his homeland you brought Western grown values. It might be better that he can’t see you lose honor this way.
That’s it for my rant, rave and cat call on Survivor China.
(Read the Survivor China Blog.)
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