I would say I don’t know what my issue is but I do. Right now all I can do is sleep. I’ve slept most of the time since therapy. I even skipped seeing my “hug therapist”. That would have done me some good but I didn’t even go. As I was all curled up under a ton of covers I thought to myself, it would be nice to fall asleep in her arms. I started snoring after that and only got up to the clock to care for those with fur or answer mother nature.
In other news, I was planning a Random Friday entry concerning Halloween and childhood antics but who knows if that longer more detailed entry will happen. I think I’ll just give a few quick lines and leave it at that. Here goes….
My family didn’t celebrate this holiday or any other ones but like most kids I really wanted that candy. During my 4th grade year I skipped school and went door to door with a good story sure to get me all the candy I could ever want. I knocked at the first door and told the lady I was unable to go out the night before because I was with my grandmother. I made a hand motion meaning it was a long story then said, “Anyway, I was wondering if you have any candy left over. Would you mind giving me a few pieces?” Door after door this story worked. They gave me all the candy they had left, after all I just implied I spent the evening with my sick grandmother instead of begging along side the other kids. I was a good and helpful, innocent and sweet little girl just trying to get a treat before going back to care for her sick grandmother. The little girl with the big brown eyes, two pony tails and a scheme bigger than herself had to go home to drop off candy then come back out. That’s how well it worked. Now doesn’t that beat dressing up like a Star Wars character only to get half a bag of treats?
Some might say I was a “special child” but I call that innovation. I think I was ahead of my time.
Austin(yawns with mouth wide, wide open. I must return to bed)
Tricks and Treats-Friday, October 31, 2008-3:35AM EST
School was out and summer was raging on which meant my sister and I had all day to ourselves with just a few simple rules. The first rule every parent sets is, “Don’t have anyone over while I’m gone.” My mother set a few others too. Don’t go outside, don’t go in the kitchen and cook (that was directed at me) and don’t watch soap operas. I believe on this day my sister and I broke every one of these rules. We went and gathered some neighborhood kids, turned on the greatest soap opera ever and sat down to watch and eat popcorn. Right in the middle of the show guess who opens the door, none other than my mother who wasn’t supposed to be home for hours. When she opened the door our friends scurried out, tossing popcorn everywhere. My sister and I sat wide eyed as she loomed in the doorway. She simply said, “I came home early to take you to the Olive Garden for lunch.” She then closed the door and went back to work. When she got home nothing at all was said. We were not punished or even scolded. To this day I remember the look of disappointment on her face and the tone in her voice that said, “I expected you to do right but you didn’t.” I’ll never forget it.
Dear Lilly from As The World Turns,
How amazing it was to watch you every summer when my mother was gone to work. I always wondered if you’d marry the stable boy Holden.
I think his dance in India is my favorite followed by the dance in South Africa. I’m not sure what the heck was going on with the bunnies in Japan but the video sure made my heart smile. It’s a quite hopeful video. In light of conditions, if you can make the world dance for just a moment then you’re something special. Thanks Matt.
Austin
I love the way the evening sun comes through my window. The last rays fall over everything and I just have to stop, sip a cup of java and watch it go down. I like the golden look to my apartment in the evening time.
When I talk to my friend on the phone and she stops to say something to her teenage daughter I hear nothing but love in her voice. I like the way she says her daughter’s name and the way she speaks to her gently, void of sarcasm and anger. It’s nice to hear.
Watching the Three Stooges sleep today made me want to join them in a nap. Captain was on his back spread eagle, Grace was on the back of the loveseat facing the wall, nearly fading right into it and Bella curled up in a ball by the picture window as tiny as she could get. The sweetness of it was heartwarming. I wonder why it’s such a wonderful feeling to watch our loved one’s sleep?
Once someone told me that they believe I have found peace in this world. They believed this because they said they could see peace in my artwork. I told him, no, I don’t feel peace so I feel compelled to paint it. With that I give you Ladybird who lays in her red dress (my favorite colour) watching the evening sun in the company of a dove. You’ll also find her in The Pretty Picture Gallery on the art site.
This weekend I intend to make peace with a few things, and wait until later to process those that I cannot.
I stood in the middle of a cave in Kentucky and pretended to be Daniel in the lions den. I went further to a more open area and pretended to be one of Lots daughters who fled from a dangerous city. The Bible came to life in the caves of a Midwestern state.
J of A
Random Friday: Childhood Adventures-Friday, July 11, 2008
Last Tuesday I went to see my therapist. My regular cab driver came to pick me up in his regular attire, a red shirt, a half combed afro and long finger nails. I can’t stand a guy with long finger nails; it grosses me out for some reason. Well, when it comes time to paying the cabby I do so once a month so that I only have to reach up and take the chance of touching him once. But this month I needed to pay him as I went which increased my chances of touching him. So, Tuesday I climbed into the cab, coffee in hand, money in hand and what happens? He reaches back to take the money and I’ll be damned if his finger nails weren’t dirty. Under ONE finger nail was something brown. Oh shit, what am I going to do now? I’m in a cab with a guy who has long finger nails and they’re dirty!!! I’m trapped, like a caged animal I’m trapped!! But I can’t panic. I’ve gotta catch my breath, think, think, think. I figured I could always tuck and roll out of the cab and take my chances with highway traffic. The mug might not make it but so be it. I have to calm down, the therapy office isn’t that far, I think to myself. It was a long ride, a very long ride. He grossed me out so badly I couldn’t even finish my coffee. It got wasted, so I figure the man owes me a cup of coffee.
Other stuff that grosses me out thoroughly and falls under the “now that’s just nasty” category:
I can fillet a salmon in one slice, flip it over and do the same thing
but I can’t quarter a chicken.
I can taste the difference between Maxwell House coffee and Folgers
but I can’t taste the difference between imitation vanilla extract and real vanilla extract.
I can feel a slight difference in the weight of a given object
but I have no sense of time or direction. I can tell time but it means nothing to me.
I can tell if something is too hot or too cold
but I can’t tell the difference between damp and soft.
I can detect an accent and usually name the country correctly
but I can’t hear vowel sounds in English, my native tongue.
I can:
Make something out of nothing.
See masterpiece paintings in the clouds.
I can’t:
Draw a straight line.
Wait patiently at a doctor’s appointment.
I do:
Think about food most of the day.
Love the colour red
Wear some shade of green daily.
I don’t:
Eat crazy stuff like brains or intestines, dogs, pickled gerbles and crazy crap like that.
Wear the colour yellow
Wear black pants.
Random Friday: Do, Don’t, Can, Can’t
Thursday, February 21, 2008, 6:36 pm
This morning I woke singing the song Someday by Tim Mahoney. The other morning I woke singing the song New York, New York by Liza Minnelli. I don’t make it a habit to wake singing show tunes but on occasion it happens. This reminds me of the time when I was off my medication (It’s the only way to justify my actions) and went to a hotel with my then girlfriend of 9 years for the sole purpose of having a girls night of cocktails and show tunes.
So there I was in a very nice hotel with the most beautiful girl in the world singing New York New York, Memories from CATS, Give my Regards to Broadway and other unmentionables. Colombia (the girlfriend) and I took several road trips for the sole purpose of visiting an upscale hotel for low class singing. However, it was high class singing that made me fall in love with her. The first time I met her she played the piano while singing the song Unchained Melody. I sat on the piano bench with her and was blown away. It was instant love. She sang that song on our anniversary each year. I never tired of it.
As a special treat here’s Elaine Paige singing Memories.
Random A Show Tune Kinda Memory
Friday, February 15, 2008, 11:02 am
Every year Mama went to Switzerland to ski. One year she hit a tree and came back with a broken collar bone and shoulder. Later she developed laryngitis. She wasn’t able to move or speak for over a week. Mama silent and immobile….good times those were.
I went outside with my mother and sister and danced in the rain.
I remember getting up from my mother’s fit of rage, turning on the radio and dancing to 80’s music to toss out memory of what was just done.
I remember standing on a balcony 21 stories above the city gazing at a perfect rainbow with complete strangers. The rainbow seemed to hang forever.
I remember hanging out of a six story window looking down, not sure if the mother would really push me that time.
I remember sitting on a dock by the Gulf of Mexico with my feet dangling in the water. A huge bird came and sat beside me. I froze as he ate my shrimp fishing bait.
I remember sailing with my uncle. My fear of water started there. I wondered if I could actually swim back to shore.
I remember standing at Pier 17 with friends laughing at this guys miniature tie. He caught my eye as he walked to the building. The man was gorgeous and well dressed. As he got closer I could see his tie was about 4 inches long instead of full size. We all laughed at such a silly style.
I remember kids making fun of me because I wore torque heals clear up into the 4th grade.(I was born with a club foot, it took awhile to correct.)
I remember where I was standing the day of the Tiananmen Square massacre. My TV screen went black, there was gunfire and shouting. I was stunned. What an awakening.
I remember what it feels like to be shot.
I remember standing in the same spot hearing the country was at war to liberate Kuwait. Yet another rude awakening for a world I didn’t think could get any worse.
I remember the first thing I ever really stood for. I refused to buy Coke products and called Coke the official drink of Apartheid because they wouldn’t do the right thing and pull out of South Africa.
I remember where I was standing just before I liberated myself from an abusive household.
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UPDATES
November 12th through November 31st Sundrip will offer all prints in my Etsy shop as a buy one get one free sale. Please see the announcement in the shop for more details.
My Etsy Shop Sundrip on Etsy
Two 11x17 prints have been added. "Katherine" and "Little White Dress"
November 7, 2008
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There are no implied rights to posting a comment. Free speech means you can say what you feel you need to say without the GOVERNMENT coming down on you, not me. If you decide to be an insensitive idiot your comment will be deleted and you will be dismissed and ignored. There is no Comment Constitution out there saying Blog Owners must uphold the First Comment Amendment and they can’t delete or moderate words. I delete stuff off my blog all the time because there are a plethora of idiots out there and they seem to flock to my blog making moderation necessary.
Idiots are everywhere. We must protect ourselves from them. See the Welcome Page for more details.
Click here for the GENERAL COMMENT and GUESTBOOK hub.