Sundrip may at times contain raw and honest records of life as a survivor. This may be disturbing to some. This blog does not use trigger warnings on posts. Please read responsibly.
What is Sundrip? Sundrip is hope that drips from the sun.
The sunrise is a blessing of hope. When the sun comes up I have another chance to make this life work. It’s like a new day brings new hope and maybe, just maybe I’ll find a way to make this life worth working for. I can’t say I’m hopeless because as long as the sun rises I have another chance to put my own errors behind me and make my own choices as to how I want to live. It’s like climbing up hill all day and then you reach the top and look back to see all that you’ve climbed above and all that you’ve overcome. Then you meet the sun as it clips the horizon, and you know for sure that you’ve been given a second and a third and a hundredth chance to be human with all its positives and negatives.
I've been in therapy since 1990. I left school early on Friday to see my therapist. I continued in therapy and received the diagnosis of what was then called Multiple Personality. Over the years I've seen many Psychologists and Psychiatrists, all have recognized the legitimacy of the primary diagnosis of Multiple Personality Disorder which is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder. With this in mind, my goal is to continue the therapeutic process of working through daily issues. I document my experiences and relationship with my therapist. My goal is to always be honest in my writing which means talking about positives, negatives, accomplishments and the bore of daily grind. I will cry. I’ll laugh. There will be a lot of complaining. lol This entry describes what it's like to live with multiple personality disorder.
This is a short list of commonly used phrases concerning Dissociative Identity Disorder.
As you know nothing in life is 100% good or bad. So when you read you’ll find a bit of everything, humor and anger, fear, bravery and idle chatter. Not every entry will be about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) aka Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) or about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Despite impacting my life strongly, there are other parts of life I wish to discuss and process. Having mental health issues does not make me exempt from life changes or health changes, these issues and experiences are included in my writing. Everyday life changes don't require a list of terms, but some mental health issues do
Alter - alter personality
Front runner, face, - the alter personality that is out the most to handle daily activities
Switching - switching from one personality to another
Original Person - the personalty from which the alter personalities split
System - the group of personalities
Who is Morton’s Pride?
The group of alter personalities created to protect the original personality is called Morton’s Pride. Those of us in Morton’s Pride see ourselves as lions.
Morton *see update*
Morton is the main protector of this group. He protects the pride with his life, as any good king would. He, unlike a real lion, has a gentle and humorous side. Morton is a 35 year old, white male and is First in command in the Pride. Morton gets his name from the word mortal, meaning capable of death. In this case he is willing to protect the pride in the same deadly manner as an actual lion would while protecting his Pride. He is usually very level headed. I would say that Morton is not consumed with anger though if provoked he will respond accordingly. Morton finalizes all major decisions at all times.
*January 2016 Morton took a greater role in day to day activities. He shares them with Jordan. * April 12, 2016 Morton successfully integrated.
Joan of Arc *see update*
The name Joan of Arc has nothing to do with the historical person. Joan is the Matriarch of The Pride and that’s where she gets her name. She is the second protector of three. Morton, Joan and Destiny are protectors. Joan is 28. She is pretty energetic. She once had very few boundaries as far as letting people know too many personal things about her and the group/system/. This has changed over the years. Joan has a good sense of humor. She has been accused of not having a heart and not feeling anything. However, she does feel, and deeply so. Joan of Arc is the front for Morton’s Pride. She still handles the everyday tasks and dealing with people outside of our inside system. Joan and Austin are not the same person.
* With a lot of therapy Joan was able to integrate with the main personality early July of 2012. Destiny is the front runner.
Julia / Destiny *See update*
Julia is 24 and is pretty high-spirited most of the time. She is also angry underneath the jokes and sarcasm. She is the 3rd protector of three. The threesome is referred to as “The Big Three”. Julia changed her name to Destiny. She has been out more in the last year than she has ever been. She is still brutally sarcastic and not very in touch with her feelings.
* Jan 2014 Destiny has matured to the point of being an effective front runner for the Pride. That one sentence sums it all up for her.
*Destiny fully integrated with the main/original personality around May of 2014.
As events in the system change, I will update them here.
Amy Smiles merged with Amy Pink. January 2014
Milwaukee merged with Maureen.
Maureen is in the process of full integration with the main personality aka the original person.
Maureen fully integrated with the main/original personality around April 2014.
Destiny fully integrated with the main/original personality around May of 2014.
Jordan, who used to go by the name No One or Nobody is now the front runner. She is female and about 18 to 20 years old. She became the front runner 2/2/14
Angel and Angelica the Whore have been renamed Sara and Anna. 12/22/14
LJ has decided she wants the L and J to stand for Little Jordan.
Morton has begun using his Spanish on a regular basis. I’m uncertain why. January 5, 2015
Amy has integrated with the original personality. August 2015
Morton successfully integrated. April 12, 2016
I found out a month late about the death of family members. I found out in June but the deaths were in May of 2016
For a year or longer the three Ariel's have given themselves identifiers. Ariel Bianca (??), Arial Michelle (12), Arial Lovely (6) August 8, 2016
Arial Michelle has dropped the Arial and is now Michelle. Robert has shown a willingness to be physically aggressive if pushed too far. Jordan and Robert are out most often with Jordan still the primary frontrunner. February 2017
Crystal (19) changed her name to Emerald. She's called Emery for short. 5/14/ 2017
Robert began 2 sessions a month with our therapist. It's heavy. 6/17
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