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I'm still on the hunt for a psychiatrist for better med management. I'm using a few different resources to manage the depression and anxiety now, one resource being art.

I doodle because it makes me happy. I doodle because I'm anxious. I doodle because I'm bored. I'm a doodle bug.

These were done while in bed. Some are in my art journal while others are in altered art books.

It's been difficult to move around so I've stayed close to my the bed. The watercolor pens pen is so helpful. I can move beyond colored pencils and crayons. I still use those but I like having watercolors, too. ...continue reading "Doodle. Art and Anxiety. Creative Endeavors."

Content: Self image. Sexual abuse w/ frank speech at times. Discussion of the mother forcing a gender role for the purpose of abuse, hatred of men, degrading women, the mother's sexuality. It's a heavy entry, one difficult to write.

Page 2 of Miss Eyes I Want to Be UsefulWe  started off going over art pieces in my sketchbook. We talked about which color I've used most and changes in how I depict figures. One art piece not posted was drawn to signify how pervasive sexual abuse was in most aspects of my young life.

Dr. D asked why I add heavy markings below the eyes. I said its all about color significance and my own symbolism. (see art therapy gallery) When I put blue under the eyes I'm trying to say that no matter what I'm going through or how negative I feel about myself, I understand on a different level that these thoughts are based on lies.  I'm able to better see that my self image isn't based on reality but abuses as a youth and young adult. ...continue reading "Therapy Review: Identity. Gender. The Mother’s Sexuality"

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Sam's Red Balloon I recently purchased a pallet box to hold more watercolors. In one area I selected

colors based on what I use most but on the other side I put colors I need more work with. For the most part, I enjoy watercolors but at times I swear it off saying I'll never, ever try this media again.

There was a mishap that took place that required damage control. You know those water paint pens? Well, see, no one told me I was supposed to put only water in there. I thought I was to fill the barrel with ink or paint so that's what I did. Later on I saw in blog entries that they were not used that way. I tried to clean them up as well as possible but it didn't turn out so great. I was able to clean and save one barrel but all the brush tops. ...continue reading "Sam’s Red Balloon and the Great Pen Incident"

Spark
Double Therapy Page

Spark: Fire and Water now has a wall of its own. Soon it will be safely packaged up and sent on its journey.

Spark: Fire and Water is an art journal, two page spread that was offered in my Etsy shop.

Sparks of color fly as her eyes open wide to take in and hold all that grows around her. A signature of Sundrip is to have many hidden faces and objects that are seemingly random. This journal piece most certainly has the Sundrip signature along with bold chaos in color.

What will you see in this raw, collage art? You will see fragmented flowers, hair like waves of the sea, a blue girl. You'll see lines cross, curve and circle around holding tiny human figures. Crosshatch and stripes meet checkers and poles, then bring your eye back to the girl in the middle with doodles on her lips.

Two page collage and drawings in my art journal.

Faith

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available as prints see sidebarWhen I'm anxious I make small terrariums in glass jars. I make dry flower arrangements from flowers I've purchased or flowers donated by friends. I often get a years worth of lavender from a friend when she cuts hers back. I love that stuff. Thank goodness I don't have allergies.

I have all kinds of terrariums and terrarium supplies, stuff I wanted to add to my Etsy shop. I haven't added them because I have no idea how to ship them so I've started offering them locally. So far so good. I love getting my hands in that soil, placing driftwood, hand picked stones and tiny little plants into little landscapes.

I've struggled with depression recently, depression that feels too heavy to manage alone. Today I made a bit of extra effort to get out of bed and get into something productive which meant working with the fish and terrariums.

I've turned a 6 drawer wooden dresser into a feature garden with some of the drawers holding garden supplies like gloves, planters and terrarium supplies. ...continue reading "Getting My Hands Dirty"

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The Last Laugh II: Jester - availableI was thrilled to see that two of my art pieces got a new home today, one of which is from a Jester series called "The Last Laugh".

The series illustrates the role I was cast to play while growing up. A Jester or clown puts on a false face, parades around and makes a "fool" of himself to get a laugh. He distracts people from the real world around them and for just a tiny bit they forget. I hate clowns for that very reason and yet I feel compelled to paint them.

Every line spoken were words not my own. They haunted me and concealed my real voice and my real face from the real world. The story of my life today is a simple one. I only play the role that is me.

...continue reading "“The Last Laugh” Paintings"

4:08 pm EST
Notes: I feel like a live wire. I don't know how to throw the breaker switch. In session we went over quite a bit of art. He noted a clear distinction between my art, Jordan's art and Emery's art. We talked about feeling angry and how we don't want others to feel afraid. We know what it feels like to be on the other end of fear and we don't want to be so emotional that we scare or intimidate people. We talked about how I wish they'd kept me inside and refused to let me out like how it was a long time ago. They never let me talk to people. I shouldn't talk to people. My main role is to take the physical pain because Jordan and Emery can't, they can't take it, which leaves me. I'm bad. I'm broken and I never should have been allowed out. I mess stuff up. I told Dr. D that I should just handle the pain but I shouldn't talk to people. When the phone rings let Jordan do it. Let her do the social stuff, the volunteer stuff. Let Emery do certain things. I'll manage the body, that way I won't mess stuff up because of being mad.
Robert

5:24 pm EST
Dr. D pointed to the sketch by Emery of a woman with a cracked tea cup on her back that holds a sunflower. He asked why its cracked. Its cracked because it feels as if we aren't recuperating fast enough; our usual means of self help don't feel as effective. It might be that we've been doing this dental stuff for so long that we're depleted faster than we can recharge. We have to find ways, seek them out, in order to recharge.

We talked about the other painting in that entry with the woman inside the cup with a large sunflower. At the bottom of the drawing it says, "There is enough room to grow." Dr. D thought I meant just the opposite because of how squeezed in she is but no, she's squeezed in on all sides, pressed from all directions, but she has enough of what she needs to keep going. She's not ready to stop. We're frightened and emotionally frayed, but we're not ready to stop.

In spotting the differences in the personality type and art type of Jordan and Emery, Dr. D honed in on Emery's short and to the point artistic style. Her expressions jump off the page. She does not clutter the background.

Jordan's River by Emerywith all her imperfections Jordan is color crazy but doesn't jam the paper as full as I do. She takes you on a visual tour but she doesn't max paper the way I do.

I've done a lot of maze art in the last few days. I figured out what media I want to use for one. It won't be easy, but I want to do one of them in wax color, like the other encaustics but very detailed. I'm looking at some viable options on Amazon for an encaustic

A recent tangled / maze drawing called "The Main Event"

The Main Event horizontal by RobertJordan gives a river of color in "Color Rush".Color Rush 1 4x6I've got to go to sleep. I can't keep my eyes open any longer.
Robert

These are recent entries in my personal sketchbook. They're mindscapes - an artists version of a CAT scan.

Wait for Me - Let there always be hope
Wait for Me - Let there always be hope

I've done my best to toss out the notion that I must create something beautiful. I have to stop feeling as if I must please viewers with a masterpiece or outdo myself. I have to stop thinking and let myself paint. It's been a challenge but I'm getting better.

 

These are photographs. When I take them out of the sketchbook I'll scan them then put them on the working wall (the wall that holds all current projects) so I can grab and do more whenever I am able.

Jordan

As you know, art without a wall of its own is sad, but today "Jane's Flowers Bloom" was adopted. To celebrate this momentous occasion is the legendary Phil Collins singing, "In the Mail Tonight".

Art Title:  Jane's Flowers Bloom
Art by:  Faith Magdalene Austin
Media:  Colored pencil, ink, card stock
Size:  4 x 7 inches
Finish: Acrylic seal, signed on the front and back, unmounted.
Style: Primitive, African Americana, Ethnic Folk Art

Jane's Flowers Bloom - SOLDTake it away Phil!Jane's Flowers Bloom - SOLD

Well I remembah, I remembah orange flurries, flurries, flurries
How could I ever forget
It's the first bloom,
the white moon
and an intimate moment.
But I know the reason why you kept your purse closed up,
Oh no you can't resist me.
Well the love it shows
and the heart it rose
with a flower from you to me
(enter awesome drum solo)
I can feel it coming in the mail tonight, hold on
I've been waiting for a wall of all my own, oh Lord, oh Lord
I'll be coming in the mail tonight oh Lord
for a wall
of my own. oh Lord  (end remake)

Me: Thank you so much Phil for coming to Sundrip to sing that classic song; a song for all time. What do you think Mary Jane, studio cat?
Mary Jane: That song chokes me up every time. He kills it on the drums. Amazing job Phil. Thanks for coming.
Me: Thanks to everyone who has given original art the only thing it's ever wanted, a wall of its own.

Is there wall space in your home? Can you open your heart to grant the wish of original art? If so, please visit my Available Art galleries as well as my Etsy shop. Contact me and we'll work together to stamp out homeless art.

Available Art. Available, too. Etsy shop. PayPalMe.

Faith Magdalene Austin
Artist
Mary Jane Austin
Studio Cat and Quality Control Manager

Young Joker - SOLDArt without a wall of its own is sad.  "Young Joker" waited a little bit for the right wall to come along and it did. Packaged ever so carefully, this special art piece will travel to its destiny via US Postal System. It's a happy day when art gets adopted.

"Young Joker" is a rainbow dance around a patch of white flowers. Wrapped in the landscape are several who are finding their way through the meadow. A black bird takes the same path.

Art Title: Young Joker
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 8.5 × 5.5
Media: Marker, acrylic
Finish: signed on front and back, unmounted, not framed

Paintings that compliment "Young Joker" can be seen in the below gallery and are available via Etsy or PayPal invoice. See the sidebar for details.

Give art a home.

Feed a starving artist. Seriously, I could use a sandwich 🙂

Faith

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