I've done what I'm supposed to do, that should feel good. I don't feel good.
I'm still creating. Some get finished, other's lack substance and I lose interest. Today I made a third doll for donations (pics eventually) and a hat for myself.
Right in the middle of studying I had a full blown panic attack but I kept going. I didn't want to feel totally defeated. The problem was that I made one single, solitary mistake and it felt like my world crashed, like it was the biggest catastrophe on my heart. I had to get myself together over a tiny mistake that it took seconds to correct. Agitation. Agitation. Low tolerance for just about anything.
I listen to my frogs. I read. I played fetch with the dog again today; day three in a row. Playing with him today was forced but it was nice to see his tongue hanging out of his mouth and that big dog smile after playing so hard.
I want to care, mostly I don't.
I want to be in a good mood tomorrow and meet with what is now three people for letters to homebound Seniors in our community. I want to meet with them but I'm afraid. I just want to go to bed and put the covers over my head but honestly it feels miserable under there, too. Why? What is there to explain this level of absolute depression and flat out despair? What's wrong with me?
Just thought of something....... I've had a med change. It's the only thing I can think of that would make me feel this bad, so deeply with no real reason. I mean seriously, I want to just lay down and die. I can't explain why. Is it the combination of meds or something else? I talk to Dr. D tomorrow. We'll figure out something because today I hit my threshold.
I have a little one who was born in a small division of Indiana called Rosedale Hills. She was born in a home where art, music, love and laughter fill the rooms. The scent of joy is roses. The feel of care is as smooth as cream as its poured into what will become sweet ice cream. It is a home of peace with an environment conducive to growth.
This is Rose Marie, a hand stitched, hand painted, African-American ornamental rag doll. She's about 12 inches from head to toe and wears little white undies and little black shoes.
I know what you're thinking. I've seen her before. She sold last week. Only part of this is accurate. Let me explain.
Rose Marie was born here at Sundrip in Rosedale Hills and was ready for her new home. Her bags were packed and her heart was set for the road ahead but there was a snag in her adoption so she sits very sad, on my lap, holding my hand.
Rose Marie: Why not me? Faith, doll maker: It's not you sweetie. It's just that life got in the way and she wasn't able to adopt you. Her circumstances changed. It's not you. Rose Marie: The other girls got adopted, she said. Faith: I know. Those circumstances were different. The two mothers who adopted them had all their ducks in a row, they were ready and sure but the person who was to adopt you wasn't able to get her ducks lined up. It was her ducks out of quack, not a flaw in you. You're perfect. You're perfect with those beautiful, soulful eyes. You're beautiful with your soft hair and smooth brown skin. Little one, you are beautiful in your dress with gold trim and the handmade pendant around your adorned dress. There is no flaw in you, no flaw. Rose Marie: Will someone else adopt me? Faith: As sure as the sun rises, you will be adopted. Rose Marie: Will they have problem ducks too that don't like to line up right? Faith: Next time we will be much more careful about people with rebel, lunatic ducks. We'll make curtain the arrangement is more secure so that you don't get your hopes up or have your heart broken.
Rose Marie laid her head on my chest, squeezed my hand and said, "I didn't mean to make it sound like I don't like living with you."
Oh honey, I know. It's just that you want a home of your own. You deserve it and it'll happen. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but it'll happen.
And so Marie wrapped her plush arms around my neck and squeezed tight. "I love you very much" she said. "I know baby doll. You have so much love to give, that's what makes you special."
Moral of the story.1) Ducks can be thugs and rebels. 2) One must be patient for their heart's desire to be filled.
Rose Marie is up for adoption. She likes long naps, a good book, hugs and holding hands. At this time she's in hug therapy and being treated for Post Traumatic Duck Disorder. She's progressing but would prefer a home with no ducks.
You may purchase Rose Marie the ornamental doll for the administrative fee of $29.00. This covers shipping to the United States. International shipping varies. I refund all international shipping over $1.00. Please contact me at SundripJournals@gmail.com to adopt little Rose Marie. Please don't send money until we have confirmed that Rosie is still available. I accept PayPal and will soon place her in Etsy. They have their own administrative fees so there will be a slight increase when purchasing from Etsy. It is best and secure to use PayPal.
I went to Wally World yesterday and looked for a yellow ribbon but I couldn't find one. Despite sewing a doll by hand, painting her entire body, painting her face and sewing in yarn for hair, I can't make a bow. It's sad but true, I can't make a bow. I tried, oh how I tried but nope.
Wal-Mart (Wally World) didn't have a yellow bow so I went with white which ended up being a good choice. I also changed out the small white scarf for a little shawl. I love shawls and wear them often. Anyway, I added a red heart button that closes the shawl and then added little white bead earrings. So fun. I like her. She's all finished.
Here she is, Madison Ann the African Americana Folk Doll by Faith Austin at SUNDRIP - Art for Life. 🙂
Madison Ann is about 18 inches. Like other handmade dolls on Sundrip, she is hand painted and has soft yarn hair. I search yarn shops looking for hair that is unique, something that will compliment the character of dolls made. In this case, the yarn is intended for scarf making but when I saw it I had to use it for a black folk art doll.
Madison's dress is from upcycled material as are her undies, socks and little white shawl with red and white heart pendant button. She's wearing small white bead earrings, a white hair bow and little black shoes.
Madison's adoption process includes shipping to the United States. The administration fee 🙂 for her adoption is $39.00 via PayPal or by other arrangement. **Adopted**
Noted: The African Americana gallery has been updated to reflect the newest pieces of Black Folk art and dolls.
Finished and ready for her new life in Southern Indiana.
This is Rose Marie, a hand stitched, hand painted, ornamental rag doll. She's about 12 inches from head to toe and wears little white undies and little black shoes.
Rose Marie is a doll that is soft to the touch and has very wavy brown hair made of super soft yarn. Her dress is made of up cycled material and detailed in gold and rose. She also wears a handmade pendant around the detailed collar of her dress.
Rose Marie has a light scent of rose and sage which compliments her gentle nature.
Wednesday she'll travel to her new home where she'll spend many happy days.
Black folk art is some of my favorite art. It touches something in me deeply that is difficult to explain.
This is a Black Raggedy Ann doll named Madison Ann. I can't say she's finished because I keep thinking I want to add one ribbon to her hair. I know someone else who has done a ton of whimsical dolls so I'll have to ask her expert advice.
Madison Ann is about 18 inches. Like other handmade dolls on Sundrip, she is hand painted and has soft yarn hair. I search yarn shops looking for hair that is unique, something that will compliment the character of dolls made. In this case, the yarn is intended for scarf making but when I saw it I had to use it for a black folk art doll. ...continue reading "Black Raggedy Ann Doll"
Art Title: Slaw
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 8.5 x 5.5 inches
Media: Watercolor, ink
Finish: signed, dated, heat sealed, unmounted
Style: Outsider Art, Surreal
I think my friend Angie got me started on watercolor pens. I'm happy she did. I all but ruined my first set but have since acquired a new set which I totally love. My next art supply purchase will be a second small pallet I can take with me to therapy. As it turns out, the watercolors have taken on a large role in art during therapy sessions.
When I painted little Gloria I was thinking about the production Les Miserable, about Éponine specifically. That character touches me. She loves intensely but quietly. She needs to be recognized yet she is always in the shadows. She has mastered her environment but her heart has been shielded from decay. She's rough and fragile, equally.
Good news. The painting Gloria is being packaged to travel half way across the United States to a wall waiting just for her.
Although the original has been placed, you can purchase prints from my Redbubble shop in the section for children. Please see the sidebar for the Redbubble link.
Guess what was bartered today? Guess who gets a new home? Red Balloon! Good choice.
The African American boy with blue accents around his eyes stands tall in front of a rainbow background. There's a faint show of a crown of small, round lights circling young Sam's head. Open the detailed image and look closely, you'll see it. Your light is still there, even if other's can't readily see it. So when it glows only above your head just remember, your light shines to guide you, not others.
Art Title: Sam's Red Balloon
Size: 8.5 x 5.5
Media: watercolor, 98 lb paper
Finish: unsealed, unmounted
Style: African Americana, Black Folk