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I've been tickled all day that a new leaf on my single leaf Pathos is growing. 🙂 This plant is special because its the only Pathos that made it from the old apartment. The other plants are gone except a friend saved a tiny, itty bitty little plant. Having it feels like a little piece of the old life was saved, ya know?

joy of pathos
Wrigley watches with sleepy eyes.
Whites Tree Frog Sundrip
...continue reading "Watch it Grow"

Dr. D and I discussed the recent firing of my new CNA. I fired her for several reasons and fired the company, too.

My insurance covers a CNA that can take me to the store and to doctor appointments. It turns out this CNA was driving me around w/o a drivers license or insurance. I called the company and they shocked the crap out of me when they said they hire people to drive even when they have only a hardship license. This girl had that when she was hired but let it drop because she couldn't pay for it. Still she took me to the store! When I called the company with my concerns the CNA decided to call me and curse me out!!! Obviously she can't return to my home after that. ...continue reading "Therapy Review: Lowered Expectations and Less Stress"

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(sigh) I saw The Surgeon for the last time yesterday afternoon. I didn't expect him to hug me but I'm glad he did. I gave him his painting and as expected, I cried at the end. As a matter of fact I got in the car, went to the store, purchased 4 pints of ice cream and a dozen donuts to sooth those tears. Strawberry and Death by Chocolate seemed like good band-aides. I ate a few of the donuts but left the ice cream lot untouched in the freezer.......This is all so painfully unnatural.

I have a hard time letting go of him right now so I was given 3 spider plant starts from his office. How cool is that? His office is the one who gave me the push to set up my 3 gallon Betta 'bowl'. They've got a set up on each desk when you first walk in that are gorgeous. I so want to do a second Betta set up. Anyway.... ...continue reading "Surgeon. CNA. Spoiled Me."

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Awwww, baby froggies.

It's going to be fun watching these little guys grow up. There are actually 4 babies now. I adopted a little guy who was on his own and not being cared for.

These are Australian Tree frogs with a life expectancy of about 15 years. They'll get between 4.5 and 5.5 inches. They eat anything moving, including smaller frogs and pinky mice.
Jordan

This is Lentil, my Australian Tree Frog.

Australian Tree Frog. White's Tree Frog. Dumpy Frog. This morning I woke to find three beautiful mushrooms in Lentil's terrarium. The mushrooms grew out of a patch of orange moss that grows along side driftwood stationed close to the watering hole.

Mushrooms in orange moss.Although these frogs will tolerate being held, it's not suggested you do so. I hardly ever hold him unless needed. Today was deep cleaning day so I had to take him out which meant photo time. ...continue reading "A Frog named Lentil"

Clyde is needy, so am I. He too jumps at the slightest noise.  Even though he's anxious, he's protective of me.

He knows what it means when alarms go off 4 times a day. Two of those times he's going to eat, which he loves to do.

He's such a good boy, gentle yet playful and easy to please. I can't believe how much he loves tennis balls. In this photo he's looking all sad and pitiful bc we weren't playing ball in the rain. Lol He was happy inside the house when I unwrapped his new chew bone. 🙂

I'm typing in bed, half asleep, with Clyde laying on my legs. This is truly appreciated. It helps physically and emotionally. ...continue reading "Dog and Frog"

There's something about having another living thing making noise that helps me feel less alone. Skip to 20 seconds for the start. His big performance is at 55 seconds. This is what Clyde does while doing his service dog duties of laying on my legs to help with the pain. He falls asleep and snores. Gotta love it.

There was one night when he snored so loudly that he woke me. I was groggy from medication and not clear who was snoring. I had to talk to myself to bring me back to 2017 where I do not sleep in a room with my sister. Usually his snoring doesn't trigger it, it makes me feel safe but some of the content of my therapy session concerning abuse got mixed up in current reality and grog. ...continue reading "Snoring. Dreaming of Flashbacks. Losing Mary Jane."

Keep talking. Write anything.

Shortly before my 6:30 alarm goes off I've had a minute to myself. I've stolen it from internet time, texting, phone conversations and world events. It's a moment to recharge and get ready for the 6:30 alarm clock and the few tasks that follow.

I let the alarm continue until it turns itself off 20 min later. It's set to play a 20 min segment of a lecture which helps me get lessons deeper in my head.

While listening I down evening meds, which is the main reason the alarm is set. I also take the time to mist the frog tanks, mist the crickets, turn off the plant lights and now feed the dog his dinner.

Six thirty is a transition from focusing primarily on outside issues to personal care. My creative juices start really flowing. I paint, sew or do something else creative. There are times when I'm not done with volunteer work and I need longer to finish up, but usually the alarm clock signals a change from 'you' to me.

Part of 'me' time includes walking the dog and interacting with him. He's an emotional guy so today I gave him a back massage and brushed him longer than usual. He did well with it. I love how much he stays beside me.

Even though I need space too, I need a way to get out of my own head. I need help out of the vacuum. Paying attention to pets helps with this.

Although there's much to do with deadlines to meet , this is by many standards a slow pace life. It gets even slower at the sound of the alarm.

Faith

2:07 am EST

She nixed the Gabapentin and Cyclobenzaprine which no longer work for me and exchanged them for Lyrica and Zanaflex. I'm already on Cymbalta with Abilify. This is a combination I've not had before, one I really need to give some relief. I'd take a level pain 7 with no questions asked. If they could just get me to a 7. I know there are a few moderate potential problems with this mix but being in pain makes me willing to take the risk. I'm monitored very carefully.

I said this wasn't the doctor for me but we'll see. The first two appointments with her weren't promising but it's gotten better. She was pleased to see that I've lost 23 lbs since August. She was pleased to know I got Clyde and that we're walking daily. Today has been harder than usual because my left knee is swollen, so our walks aren't as far away from the house. We walk the courtyard several times which is a good leg stretch for us both. ...continue reading "Medications. GP Impression. Decompression."

snail hunting at the parkA week ago a friend and I went snail and moss hunting. I didn't find a single snail but I did get great moss. There was moss down by the water but I didn't want to risk my life going where the best of it was so we just ohh and aaahed on shore.

The park closest to me has seen Sir Clyde and my face daily since he's been here. I feel more secure leaving the house with a dog at my side. I walked to the park when I didn't have a dog but it wasn't as relaxing. I had to force myself to go but that's not the case with a dog.

I've talked to Dr. D and to my old medical doctor about getting a dog for at least a year but a lot had to happen before I could do it. I had to know I could go up and down those stairs to take him out. I had to know I wouldn't be in the ER several times a month or be bed-bound like before. I needed to know I'd have the physical ability to care for him. I do. I'll be working my butt off putting dolls and paintings in my shop to pay for his day to day needs.  ...continue reading "Courage with a Service Dog"

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