I had a list. I stuck to the list. She suggested a stop at the bank which was not part of the original plan. The teller, a woman I know, asked a question about the Bible. I tried to explain and said I’d return with a better answer. When I got back in the car I asked Betty how long I was in the bank. Her answer? “Too long!” The way she said it hit like a slap in the face. It lit the fuse for the rest of the trip.

We went to the health food store and an employee asked if we wanted to try a juice. She said, “We can’t, we’re in a hurry.” I asked why. In the tone ??? she said, “I told you….” I heard nothing after those words.

“Too long!”
“I told you”

I started to walk to an item and she told me, “The spices are over here.” I said yeah, but the honey is here.” She said, tell me what’s on your list and I’ll help you…….

You know what? I don’t think or work like that. I am a multiple but I can’t multi-task. I can’t get one item then keep up with her request to find the next all the while knowing she’s irritated. My head is full of panicked people who don’t understand why she is over my shoulder like that. So then she adds, “We probably won’t have time for Walmart.” My head started going!

What? She knows I need to go there because I need frozen dinners. I’m exhausted. Depressed. Not eating. Anxious. TRYING! I’m trying. The Walmart comment sounded like a threat. We’re going home without food for you.

I didn’t go to the store for curry powder, onion powder or even oregano. I went for herbs to help with anxiety, pain, inflammation, neuropathy. I went to try and help get out of this depression. I do know how to make good lavender infusions. I make an oil that helps with the neuropathy. I make chamomile infusions, too. These are not bath oils, these are medicinal type things, things I was taught to do. I’m not on pain meds anymore, the oils help. The main recipe I use for pain control can be found online. Juniper berries, rosemary, lavender. It can be done several ways. The way I do it now makes it very strong.

The whole trip was ugly. It went from bad to worse. Bad to horrible. She was in a hurry to get to the wedding reception for the man who stole my heart! Thanks!…. Thanks!

Yup, I told him no. Yup he’s free to marry, but it still hurts.


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