One of the difficulties with me is that medications stop working after a bit. With the new treatment I had 3 or 4 days where the pain was a level 7 or sometimes a six. I call that a great day. I’m getting a day week at an eight which is manageable, it’s when I climb toward that 9 that things get ugly. In the last month I’ve hit a ten 3 times. Once I didn’t need to take the “lights out” medication because I laid down and was gone!
I told him about what the guy from Flickr said, to let my mind float down into my pencil. I told Dr. D that its frightening to let go. The guy who suggested I let my mind float down into the pencil, has art that looks like an X-ray of my head. One piece is full of movement from edge to edge. Images seemed to struggle with one another for space. I really liked that piece. I’m reminded of the scribble drawings by a Boho chick out in the desert. She calls her scribbles intuitive. They’re amazing though.
We talked about what I look forward to this spring and summer. The park beside me brings in soccer teams from Spain and Argentina. They play hard and pretty. It’s awesome. They float these beautiful kites and lighted lanterns. Then come the fireworks. It’s totally awesome. I’ve watched a group of Arabic students play some form of soccer. They were in a circle and kicked the ball to one another but they did these really neat moves. Then there are the school baseball teams. I look forward to watching them as well. The good thing about the location of the events is that it’s in a beautiful park where I find great patches of moss, tree bark and other cool stuff for sculptures. I was able to catch the last part of a soccer match then pick up birch bark from the ground. There’s a huge tree at the park (not the birch) that has entire strips of bark laying around all the time. I think some of the kids peel it off. I take some of it home. I’ve found I really enjoy small sculptures.
In addition to looking forward to time outside the house, he asked what I’m doing to combat the depression in-house. We talked about our down time where we need quiet. We read in the living room facing the fish tank and the frog. I love to hear the frog sing. Candles have been added in lanterns which is really pretty at night. It’s good to get out of that bedroom………that is until the need to paint hits. Last night I painted from 11 pm to 5 am. I took the easel into the bedroom, put down the floor coverings and painted myself silly. The large painting isn’t finished. I have facial features to add, hair and a whole lot more. The abstract needs to be sealed. It’s on 8 x 10 canvas sheet. The studio cat, Mary Jane, is on one of the mats I use to clean my brushes. So far she’s never been the victim of foul paint.
I can’t believe I’m willing to show my messed up studio. Yes, I do work in this type of chaos and yes it seems to stay this way. I seem to be the queen of mess making when it comes to painting. Every project results in this type of art carnage.
Weight issues. I’m not pleased with my weight. That is depressing. I’d really like to see some of this fall off. I wanted it to and hoped for 3 days out of the week where I could really do some kind of physical activity that would allow me to drop this. I’m no longer on the meds that piled it on but it’s hard taking it off. Tonight’s dinner won’t help…. Boiled ravioli with ricotta, chicken breast, spinach, mushrooms, mozzarella, provolone and Florentine sauce by Prego. There will be wine!
Ps. Dinner ended up being Lucky Charms cereal. No wine though. Wine and cold cereal don’t mix.