There are a few choices to be made including what apartment I’ll live in June 2017.

May 5th the Etsy store will close. I’ve got one custom doll to make then I’m done selling over there. I will purchase from there but no longer will I sell my art from there.

I have a long term goal to reach and I really want to do it. I really, really want it. There’s a framed version of the credentials on my wall. I want it, yet I say I want to die. Clearly, I just want this level of pain to stop.

My pain is less but my anger is now fueled by very high doses of steroids. My depression and suicidal thoughts are fueled by high doses of steroids and my desire to keep this insanity going has been spent! I AM TIRED. God help me. I am tired.

Yes, I am suicidal and yes I still have goals, stuff I want to do….. yet it’s getting harder to live in my skin, in my mind. There is rage in the center of my heart.



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