Right now I fear being abandoned by Snow. I see Betty, at age 67, getting tired and old. The selfish part of me…. I don’t know…. part of me worries, who will take care of me when Betty dies? It won’t be Snow. Who will help me when Betty can’t anymore?
Today Snow and I argued about the vacuum cleaner and how she kept it for a month and a half and refused to return it because there was something she and her husband wanted to do with it. It’s my sweeper. They didn’t ask if I wanted them to add features to it but they flat out refused return it until they did what they wanted with it. I had no say in it.
When I talked to her today I could hear myself in my head saying, stay calm. I know you’re mad but stay calm. I asked for my sweeper. She gave me an answer that sent me off the rails. GIVE ME MY SWEEPER! I said, this is insane that you would think a part needs to be replaced so you’re going to research it, buy it, fix it then somewhere down the line I can have my sweeper back. I said, this belongs to me. This isn’t a joint custody sweeper. The outcome was, keep it! Keep the sweeper and don’t ever touch anything else of mine. Insanity!
Issue – feeling like liberties were taken. Feeling like my voice and wants mean nothing. Rape – you took something from me that I didn’t want to give and I had no choice but to be at your mercy. Confusion – are they serious in thinking this is ok? Am I making too much of it?
Now comes the second part. They took it upon themselves to get possession of the wheelchair that was donated to me. I’m not going to do joint custody of the chair with them. If it’s not here on Thursday like they said it would be then more arguing will take place. This is insane!
PTSD Emotional Trigger – I rage in my head at anyone who dares to tell me I have no rights to what is mine. They’re going to do what they want and I have no say. Don’t tell me you’re going to do what you want and I have no say. That makes me breathe FIRE.