Just a few hours ago I felt strong, not invincible but strong. Now I wish I’d laid down with the cat and stayed. I did read with her plump self on top of me and I did relax but sleep is another issue. I run from it. This is the psychiatric part of life, the part that doesn’t want to sleep until the sun comes up. I need a distraction until it does. It seems anxiety is my distraction, that something to fill the time between now and sunlight.
I have a choice. I could take a cup of chamomile tea and climb under the covers, or I could hold myself in the chair and rock back and forth wishing Monday would hurry past Sunday. It’ll be a very long day at the doctor’s office but I want to see Dr. D so the travel time is a non issue. As I look at this I see clear choices. Take the healthy route and let my body sleep or feed PTSD and miss an opportunity for progress.