For the most part this makes me laugh because of the randomness of Shaq and the one crazy girl who started it all. If the dream had a name it would be called ‘Faith Doesn’t Live Here Anymore’. In general I immediately write down the dream when I wake. I’ve done the same with this one. It gets all the details as well as emotion before, during and after the writing.

A woman about my age decided to become my roommate in a beautifully spacious apartment. The first night with her didn’t go well. She didn’t have a bed yet nor her own covers so she attempted to sleep next to me in my twin bed. When I woke she was sitting in a Lazy Boy in the living room telling me that she didn’t think things were going to work out. She said, you snored twice, hiccupped 3 times and stole the covers. I asked when her furniture would be coming. When I looked behind her there was a full bed, made up in the corner of the room. I said Yeah, I don’t think this is going to work. You might want to move out.

The woman then listed off all these things that I was supposed to have done to her in the short period of time we were roommates. I tried to interrupt but she kept going. Exasperated, I raised my voice and my hands and said, “Hey, hey. Listen. I didn’t do those things. That wasn’t me. We haven’t known each other long enough for me to offend you so deeply.” As I put my hands down one hand came back and hit the side of the head of a four year old black boy with dreadlocks. The child was my cousin’s son, whom I apologized to and explain that it was an accident.

The little boy began feeling as if he’d been smacked purposely so I got down on my knees in front of the three year old and explained that it truly was an accident. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. As I went to get up the roommate put her feet in front of me and said, “While you’re down there.” I said, “Ahhhlll hee…..” And just before I lost my religion and finished my sentence the door burst open. It was my cousin, the mother of the little boy. Religion saved, for the moment.

I took my cousin T in the room where she immediately backed me against the wall and where I once again nearly lost my religion. I said, T, um, what are you doing? She said, you need to tell me what happened!!! I said, noooo, you need to get up off me, that’s what you need to do!!! So we both argued a bit. Finally she backed up and let me off the wall. Religion saved, for the moment. I said, who on earth called you? Turns out the 4 year old knows how to call his mother. At no point did she nor I raise our voice. The inflection made clear our meaning.

While my crazy cousin T sat on a bed that wasn’t there in the beginning of the dream, two other people came in the room in a calm yet threatening manner and requested information on the young boy’s welfare. When they saw T they asked, “Who called her?” The information requests came while crazy cousin T managed their supply of hollow point bullets and then a specialized bullet. When I realized what she was doing I knew what they’d brought in my home. I went in the living room and saw that very large assault rifle. I loudly demanded that they all leave my house immediately. They gathered their things and left, but one minute later they came back with my sneak thief cousin N. The roommate and I were told to get in the back room and shut our mouths. We did as we were told.

The next thing ya know we heard shots. A guy came back to us and said, “Listen, Shaq was shot. If you want to live through this you’ll get on the ground, stay face down and shut up. When the police get here, act crazy.”

The roommate and I were as still as could be, but then she had to press it. She said, “This is BS.” As she said it and started to get up, a man came in the room and put a gun to my head and repeated what the roommate said. He pressed the gun. I kept trying to pray but was so scared I could barely think. ….I woke with the cat licking my face.

Notes: What on earth was Shaq doing in my dream and why did my cousins become gun toting, drug selling gangsters? Who was that crazy girl that started it all? OMG!!! As my dreams go, this was light content, but its typical in that its a story line of insane moments and inappropriate if not down right criminal behavior worked out in a non-frenzied way. There’s a little bit of anxiety after writing the dream down but it’s stuff that’s been processed in therapy. This is just a record for the blog. {shakes head: the ceilings weren’t even high enough for Shaq}


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