Written June 29th, 2016 8:39pm EST

I’ll see Dr next Wednesday about my blood pressure, vision and serotonin syndrome. There’s no way I should be in the triple digits on both numbers.

I’ve been seeing double and have blurred eyesight in my left eye to the point where I can’t make anything out.

I was asked to watch for symptoms associated with the combination of 3 of my meds.

I’d like to know how to treat the menopausal symptoms holistically.

I’d like to treat as much of the pain symptoms as possible holistically.

A big thing that needs to happen is to get my weight down.

I won’t
Go vegan, remove all grains or eggs.
Cease drinking tea.

I can
Be patient
Use self control
Turn down the volume of well meaning people with advice concerning what I should do.

I need help
To focus. I can’t seem to focus for long.
To not self sabotage
To be more flexible
To turn off the volume of self loathing concerning my weight
I need help to reduce the amount of emotional trauma associated with going to sleep.

I will
Make better fruit choices
Make health appropriate vegetable choices
Combine foods to make super foods
Foods that help with inflammation
Food varieties
Continue to tweak my exercise routine for specific needs.
Continue to adjust my view of taking medication as well as how it’s taken.
I will do everything I can to work with the dissociation.
I understand I’m a part time resident of reality.
Recognize symptoms of depression and actively attempt to manage or ride the wave of depression. More than not, my depression is situation based.

I feel
Lonely with my health
Like I’m not doing anything productive right now
That health issues (mental and physical) render me a burden to others.
I feel clingy and needy,
Impulsive and obsessed with certain thoughts.
I feel as though the medical community is disorganized, divided, saturated with bureaucracy and crippled by incompetence and lack of communication. My general confidence in the medical community and branches is nill.
Over the years I’ve had good and bad experiences with individuals in the medical field.
I feel lost at times.


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